Is it normal for my boyfriend to be masterbating to porn with out me even while I'm home and he is upstairs and I'm down stairs? We have sex pretty much every day so why is he doing this? Is he getting bored of me? It makes me feel kind of crappy about myself knowing he is getting off waching other girls and it makes me self conscious wondering if he rather look at them then me.

Also I am going to be 24 in a week and he is 31.

Is this the same boyfriend from July?


I am 23 and he is 21 and we have beed together for 5 months now and we have both had previous partners


Today 07:04 PM
Maddy308 Also I am going to be 24 in a week and he is 32.

If it is, please explain how he aged a decade in a month.

If he isn't, then maybe you need to slow down.

I'm sorry I meant to type 31 instead of 21. An yes it is the same biyfriend

What is normal for one couple may not be for another.

If this upsets you, you need to sit down and have a discussion with him about your concerns. Together, you should work out a compromise that takes care of both of your needs.

That said. It is common for people (not just men) to masturbate when their partner is home. It can be for a variety of reasons. Only he can tell you his.

Communicate with him. He can't know that this upsets you until you tell him. Don't expect him to give up pornography and/or masturbation. Instead, expect him to work with you on making certain that his 'hobby' doesn't interfere with the rest of the relationship.

There is no normal, do you join in watching the porn with him, help him in the "act" sometimes.

Men watch porn for various reasons, the only issue is when they forget it is just movie, and not real relationship

No I don't join in. how can I when he waches it when I'm not home or I'm up stairs and he is downstairs. He hasn't even asked me to when I am home.

No i dont join in. how can i when he waches it when im not home or im up stairs and he is downstairs. he hasnt even asked me to when i am home.

How do you know what he is doing when you are upstairs and he is downstairs?

Ive looked at the internet history.

Hello Maddy,

Let me ask you, after you looked at the internet history, did you talk to him about it?

If so, what did he say?

I mentioned it once. All he said is that he does it sometimes to get tips to make our sex life new and better. The thing is he looks at it about 2-4 a week. And there hasn't been anything new of doffernt when we have sex.

I mentioned it once. all he said is that he does it sometimes to get tips to make our sex life new and better. The thing is he looks at it about 2-4 a week. and there hasnt been anything new of doffernt when we have sex.

Would you ever consider watching it with him?

Maddy, why did you look at the 'history' to begin with? Was it curiosity, looking for a site you had been to and didn't favorite, or were you trying to find evidence of what he is doing when you aren't in the room?

IF you are concerned and upset, get proactive and go downstairs when you think he is looking at porn and join him.

Talk to him. Tell him how you found out. Listen to him. He may be getting ideas but is unsure how to bring them up to you. Find a compromise.

Frankly, if he is doing it primarily when you aren't home and your sex life if satisfactory for both of you, then I wouldn't worry about it. It is about the same thing as reading a romance book or watching a romantic movie.

I would love to watch it woth him but he never offers me to. I've also told him I would. He also sometimes watches it while in asleep an he can't make the excuse up that he didn't want to have sex because I was sleeping because he has woken me up for it before and I don't mind at all.

Also on a side note when we wernt dating some who the subject of porn came up he told me that his ex was good but not that good so he watched porn. But he has told me that I am amazing in bed. So I don't see the need of porn

Hello Maddy,

You mentioned that your sex life is good. Is this really so bad that he watches porn?

He's at home in the privacy of his own home. He is not out sleeping with other women.

Some men like to look at playboy. I don't think that's bad.

Have you ever read a Jackie Collins book? My goodness that will make you want to masturbate.

Have you ever seen "Basic Instinct" or "Sliver", or "9 1/2 weeks"? Again, you might get arroused.

Some people like to watch others make love, is that so bad?

I myself, find no harm in my husband/boyfriend watching porn, as long as we continue to have a great sex life, and that he is true to me.

You know now that he watches porn. It's up to you how you want to carry it out.

Take control, join in. Communicate to him that you want to.

Yes the sex is good. But at times it puts a kink in our sex life. When I want it he rolls over an goes to bed if its at night or if during the day he says he has to go unload the dishwasher etc.. Which makes me mad knowing what he just did an he doesn't want to make a effort to help me out. So a few hours later when he wants sex I won't, or even sometimes I just get mad at him. It makes we wonder why he is with me if he likes looking at porn stars with fake boobs an plastic sergury because I'm nothing likke that.

yes the sex is good. but at times it puts a kink in our sex life. when i want it he rolls over an goes to bed if its at night or if during the day he says he has to go unload the dishwasher ect.. which makes me mad knowing what he just did an he doesnt want to make a effort to help me out. so a few hours later when he wants sex i wont, or even sometimes i just get mad at him. it makes we wonder why he is with me if he likes looking at porn stars with fake boobs an plastic sergury because im nothing likke that.

You mentioned in your original post that you have sex pretty much every day. Is that correct?

If that's the case, then it seems as if you are not deprived or denied sex. Some people go weeks, even months at a time without sex. You have it good, I must say.

Is it that you want him more then once a day? What is this kink you speak of?

She doesn’t understand why her boyfriend rather masturbates then have sex with her. She is entitled to feel inadequate and not wanted. We can’t control how one feels about their current situation.

What you have to understand there are people different sex preferences. For example; some people get sexually pleasure urinating on each other, that’s their cup of tea.

Now, it just so happens that your boyfriend into the masturbation thing. This may or may not have nothing to do with way you look or the way he feels about you.

Ask yourself this question can you accept this and still be happy?

If the answer is “no”, then break it off, there are plenty of guys out can be in a relationship with a woman and masturbation doesn’t have priority.

Is it normal for my boyfriend to be masterbating to porn with out me even while im home and he is upstairs and im down stairs? we have sex pretty much every day so why is he doing this? is he getting bored of me? It makes me feel kinda crappy about myself knowing he is getting off waching other girls and it makes me self concious wondering if he rather look at them then me.


Does your boyfriend have a sex addiction? Sounds like you two need to have a serious talk...

yes the sex is good. but at times it puts a kink in our sex life. when i want it he rolls over an goes to bed if its at night or if during the day he says he has to go unload the dishwasher ect.. which makes me mad knowing what he just did an he doesnt want to make a effort to help me out. so a few hours later when he wants sex i wont, or even sometimes i just get mad at him. it makes we wonder why he is with me if he likes looking at porn stars with fake boobs an plastic sergury because im nothing likke that.

Timing is everything. Are you timing your wants for AFTER you think/know he has been masturbating? Are you accusing him of being too tired from masturbating when he rolls over and goes to sleep when he may just be tired and need sleep? Why didn't you go downstairs and let him know you were in the mood, too. Then you start the game playing and getting back at him. THAT will cause problems in your relationship. How many of his sessions are because you said no because you were upset with him for what he did (or you thought he did) earlier?

You said that you have told him you were interested in watching with him, but have you asked him to join you in watching? Is the only time that you initiate intimacy when you think he won't participate?

Do you masturbate or do you expect him to take care of all your needs? Quite, frankly, I am a firm believer in being able to pleasure yourself. It is how an individual learns what his/her own needs are both physically through touch and mentally through fantasy.

You are making yourself feel inadequate and insecure. From what you have written, he has sex with you more than he views porn and, maybe, masturbates (viewing does not mean acting every time.) However, you want to accuse him of not being into you because 2-4 times a week (not many times a day like some women deal with, not even daily) he masturbates.

Talk with him.

You are blowing this waaaaaaay out of proportion.

And if you can't talk to him about sex, you shouldn't be having sex with him anyway.

Seriously--how will you be able to talk to him about pregnancy and birth control and paying bills and getting kids to soccer practice if you can't talk to him about sex? And rest assured--if the communication is broken for SEX, it's broken other places too.

You need to TALK to him about it. You need to tell him you were snooping (because like it or not, you WERE snooping) and tell him what you found. Then tell him how you FEEL about it. Don't accuse him. Don't put it on him--this isn't about HIM, it's about YOU.

Then ask him to TALK to you about how HE feels about it.

Do NOT do this in lieu of sex. Don't even bring it UP when sex is on the table. Bring it up over dinner, or over doing the dishes together, or take a walk and talk about it.

we have sex pretty much every day. so why is he doing this? Is he getting bored of me? It makes me feel kind of crappy about myself knowing he is getting off waching other girls and it makes me self conscious wondering if he rather look at them then me




It is hard to imagine a problem having sex every day.

It would seem he is not too bored (sex every day)

You have sex every day, he must spend a lot of time looking at you.

I don't think any woman fills a mans thoughts to the point he thinks of nothing else.

You have sex every day, I don't think you have a problem