Norelle
Aug 27, 2010, 02:17 PM
Okay, so just as a warning, it's probably going to be a little long but I need some advice on a couple things.
This is my senior year of high school and I've never had a boyfriend. Ever. Close friends of mine have had boyfriends (without even trying!) and always suggested different things I can do to try and get guys to notice and like me. It has never worked. So as a senior resolution I decided if I ever got a crush, I would at least ask him to hang out with me and let things play out from there. Much to my luck, there's a guy new to the school (new to the state!) in my homeroom that I thought was really cute. So I started plotting. 'maybe if I get to know him better I might think he's pretty cool. And I'll be able to ask him out.' and he is cool. I've developed a little crush on him, nothing big, but a crush none the less. But there's one problem.
I have a best friend I’ll call J who gets any guy she wants. She's a year younger than me but we're in the same grade. She had her first boyfriend since grade eight and was really devastated when he broke up with her. After we got to high school, she went completely crazy. In grade 10 she started dating a guy I’ll call A and they eventually broke up. There was a lot of drama around this guy because her other friend started to like him and she was upset. Grade 11 she went out with him again, only this time, things got sexual (she used her hands on a field trip we took in october). Then they broke up again and she dated a guy named R. then they broke up and she got back with A. while she was with A the second time (in february), she used her hands, mouth, and eventually had sex with a guy named E. she and E never went out and A broke up with her for cheating. Then she got back with R, they broke up again, and she had sex with A while they weren’t together, in may. During summer break she had sex with a guy I’ll call M, and she never dated him. In between all this she had extremely short relationships with a different guy named Q and a guy she met online and started texting.
School starts. Senior year. I’m going to start on my resolutions (I have more than one). So the new guy I’ll call N didn’t have any friends here, so my friends and I asked him to sit with us at lunch. We’ve been hanging out for about three weeks, then we ask him to hang out at the movies with us. It was the best day ever. Hanging with my best friends and my new crush was amazing. Since N didn’t know how to get to the theater, J got his number and texted him (since I don’t have texting). So I had everything set up to give it one more week and I would ask him to hang out with me alone, only to find out over the weekend that J said he liked her. Then the next week I find out it’s misinformation because J said she liked him first and he just responded back. She promised she wouldn’t be as wreckless as last year, but she’s already going to his house after school. On top of that, what makes it worse, is she knew I liked N and knew I would ask him out, and she kept that in mind the whole time she was flirting with him over the weekend. So now I’m afraid he’ll go out with her.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. I always lose guys to girls that are prettier, skinnier, cuter, more confident than I am. And more than once, I’ve lost them to friends. I didn’t mind so much those times because my friends didn’t know I liked them. But this is the first time a friend of mine asked out my crush despite the fact she knew I liked him. I’ve talked to her about it and she said she would still agree to date him because ‘it wouldn’t make sense if all three of us were unhappy’ which hurt me even more. I feel like she didn’t care about how I felt and how upset I was. My question(s) is this: how can I explain that she’s out of control without sounded jealous? (even though I admit I am, I am genuinely concerned for her.) why would she break my heart like that and still consider herself my friend? And what is so wrong with me that I can never get a boyfriend no matter how hard I try?
This is my senior year of high school and I've never had a boyfriend. Ever. Close friends of mine have had boyfriends (without even trying!) and always suggested different things I can do to try and get guys to notice and like me. It has never worked. So as a senior resolution I decided if I ever got a crush, I would at least ask him to hang out with me and let things play out from there. Much to my luck, there's a guy new to the school (new to the state!) in my homeroom that I thought was really cute. So I started plotting. 'maybe if I get to know him better I might think he's pretty cool. And I'll be able to ask him out.' and he is cool. I've developed a little crush on him, nothing big, but a crush none the less. But there's one problem.
I have a best friend I’ll call J who gets any guy she wants. She's a year younger than me but we're in the same grade. She had her first boyfriend since grade eight and was really devastated when he broke up with her. After we got to high school, she went completely crazy. In grade 10 she started dating a guy I’ll call A and they eventually broke up. There was a lot of drama around this guy because her other friend started to like him and she was upset. Grade 11 she went out with him again, only this time, things got sexual (she used her hands on a field trip we took in october). Then they broke up again and she dated a guy named R. then they broke up and she got back with A. while she was with A the second time (in february), she used her hands, mouth, and eventually had sex with a guy named E. she and E never went out and A broke up with her for cheating. Then she got back with R, they broke up again, and she had sex with A while they weren’t together, in may. During summer break she had sex with a guy I’ll call M, and she never dated him. In between all this she had extremely short relationships with a different guy named Q and a guy she met online and started texting.
School starts. Senior year. I’m going to start on my resolutions (I have more than one). So the new guy I’ll call N didn’t have any friends here, so my friends and I asked him to sit with us at lunch. We’ve been hanging out for about three weeks, then we ask him to hang out at the movies with us. It was the best day ever. Hanging with my best friends and my new crush was amazing. Since N didn’t know how to get to the theater, J got his number and texted him (since I don’t have texting). So I had everything set up to give it one more week and I would ask him to hang out with me alone, only to find out over the weekend that J said he liked her. Then the next week I find out it’s misinformation because J said she liked him first and he just responded back. She promised she wouldn’t be as wreckless as last year, but she’s already going to his house after school. On top of that, what makes it worse, is she knew I liked N and knew I would ask him out, and she kept that in mind the whole time she was flirting with him over the weekend. So now I’m afraid he’ll go out with her.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. I always lose guys to girls that are prettier, skinnier, cuter, more confident than I am. And more than once, I’ve lost them to friends. I didn’t mind so much those times because my friends didn’t know I liked them. But this is the first time a friend of mine asked out my crush despite the fact she knew I liked him. I’ve talked to her about it and she said she would still agree to date him because ‘it wouldn’t make sense if all three of us were unhappy’ which hurt me even more. I feel like she didn’t care about how I felt and how upset I was. My question(s) is this: how can I explain that she’s out of control without sounded jealous? (even though I admit I am, I am genuinely concerned for her.) why would she break my heart like that and still consider herself my friend? And what is so wrong with me that I can never get a boyfriend no matter how hard I try?