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View Full Version : How can I prove unfit parent without them getting the child


lovngrandma
Aug 27, 2010, 08:18 AM
I want to prevent the parents getting the 9 month old that I have had in my home since 11 days old I am the grandmother as they are not mature enough , unemployed, and are mad and want to take her 1800 miles away where she knows no one, she barely knows them. There has been no bonding with them at all. If they take her I will never see her again and I do not want her to become a srs statistic are deceased due to neglect. What can I do?

JudyKayTee
Aug 27, 2010, 08:55 AM
You go to Court and petition for guardianship and PROVE that the parents are unable to care for the child or a threat to the child.

Moving that far away from you is not neglectful.

ScottGem
Aug 27, 2010, 08:55 AM
First question is how did you happen to get custody/guardianship in the first place?

At 9 months it really doesn't matter that she will know no one if they move. And bonding can be done. So you need to prove that they are incapable of caring for an infant. What proof do you have?

lovngrandma
Aug 27, 2010, 09:20 AM
They brought her to me because they could not get her to stop crying and all I did was feed her change her and rock her to sleep. The mom is not mature at all she was in special ed all during school and functions at about a 12 year old and the dad my son drinks, drinks and drives with her not in a car seat the one time they took her for 10 minutes, and he constantly quits jobs. I also disagree about it not mattering her life as been safe and secure and to uproot that is abuse in my books. Also they have had all the time in the world to get help and has said no to all of it, they consider her property and tax deduction and welfare help, they wanted to take her to social help and churches to get more help and told the landlord she lived with them not to get evicted. Not in the best interest of any child

JudyKayTee
Aug 27, 2010, 10:32 AM
they brought her to me because they could not get her to stop crying and all I did was feed her change her and rock her to sleep. The mom is not mature at all she was in special ed all during school and functions at about a 12 year old and the dad my son drinks, drinks and drives with her not in a car seat the one time they took her for 10 minutes, and he constantly quits jobs. I also disagree about it not mattering her life as been safe and secure and to uproot that is abuse in my books. Also they have had all the time in the world to get help and has said no to all of it, they consider her property and tax deduction and welfare help, they wanted to take her to social help and churches to get more help and told the landlord she lived with them not to get evicted. Not in the best interest of any child


Whether you agree (or disagree) you posted on a legal forum and those of us with experience, education, research skills in the legal field have given you the LEGAL answers. The Court is going to rule by law and not by what you, me, anyone else thinks or feels.

If it is abuse, then prove it.

lovngrandma
Aug 27, 2010, 10:41 AM
Thank you for your advice. I do agree about the courts and that is why we have so many kids dying and abused and slipping though the system. Not blaming you by any means just the system and how it does fail sometimes , I know it is good most of the time. I will prove abuse and neglect if they ever get her in their house again, just maby they won't kill her in the process. He beat their dog severely and has already raised his hand at my house to spank the baby at 7 months old for getting close to the dog water bowl. I stopped it that time but when I am not there no one will. Some one has to look out for the young besides just GOD.Thank you again for your advice I just a loving grandma looking for answers. I see now why some mothers go underground just to protect.

JudyKayTee
Aug 27, 2010, 12:19 PM
And I have seen decisions I simply I couldn't believe. Be prepared, get all your info in order. Document EVERYTHING you can.

Ask the Court for psychological evaluations of everyone (including yourself).

Is there any chance at all that if you cooperate with them - let them claim the baby lives with them, let them claim her on their income tax - that they will let her stay with you? Sounds like the Mom isn't too swift and Dad has problems. Maybe they would CONSENT to giving you guardianship.

Do you think would work?

Where are her parents in all of this? Do they have any control, influence?

If/when you go to Court remain very calm, no emotional outbursts, no what could or should happen - stick to the facts. Remember you will get one shot at this and you have to present the best appearance you can.

Anything else you'd like to know? And, yes, I have a similar situation in my family - it's a heartache.

ScottGem
Aug 27, 2010, 01:10 PM
Here is another problem. It appears you have no legal standing here. Unless you have had a court grant you guardianship or custody, they can come and walk away with the child anytime they want. I'm surprised you were able to get medical care for her without legal guardianship.

So that is your first step. If you can prove that mother does function at a 12 yr old level and that the father is an alcoholic then you may have some chance here. Again, I strongly advice consulting with an attorney.

Finally I'm sorry you disagree, but children are resilient. No one, especially a court, is going be concerned about moving a 9 month old because she doesn't know anyone in the new place. And there is still time for a 9 month old to bond with their caretaker.

lovngrandma
Aug 27, 2010, 01:56 PM
As for bonding there won't be any as they are too caught up in themselves to know how. Mom is not swift and her mom is dead of drugs and her dad is alive and a fairly nice guy. I know kids are resilient and if they were moving for a better job are health are something I would be OK if I knew they could take care of her, but I know they cant. They do not put her first at all and they still do not realize that she is person and needs things and food is one of them and a bottle more than one taime a day when they feel like it. Thank you all for your input and I am documenting everything and yes medical care was given , many other kids are getting medical care when they are kidnapped and it should not be so easy but it is.

ScottGem
Aug 27, 2010, 03:10 PM
My point is that you shouldn't be even mentioning the issue of bonding etc. That will not go over well with a court. Second you NEED to get legal status NOW. As it is you have NO rights to care for the child. The court is going to see a grandmother who, in effect, has kidnapped her granddaughter. So you need to show the court that you want to do things legally.

lovngrandma
Aug 27, 2010, 03:15 PM
OK I see where you are going with this. Yes I do want to do things legally. I can prove them unfit here in this state but if they leave it will be a lot harder, La has their own set of laws different than other states. I know I lived there for over 20 years.
I will work in the proving part and guardianship to get legal standing

ScottGem
Aug 27, 2010, 03:19 PM
Then you need to act fast, because if they come and take the baby, you cannot stop them.