Ok so in order to get the best answers/help I know I need to give as much detail as possible so this may get a little long but thank you for reading and giving your advice.

It started in October 2009... I met this girl at work and asked her if she would like to go out some time. We did and she immediately seemed to fall for me telling me that I astonish her with my charm and honesty and that she has never been treated so well. I was obviously doing something right and those kind of words definitely make you feel good about yourself so I continued seeing her and really started to fall for her as well.

During the first few weeks we had a lot of fun and it really seemed like we could tell each other anything which is always a good thing in my opinion. Well she told me a little bit about her ex and how he is the only man she has ever truly been in love with but assured me that she was over him and ready/excited to move on. She is 23 by the way and I am 28. I told her some of my past and we went from there.

Well in January she went back home about 7 hours away to visit friends and family after a minor surgery she had done. It seemed harmless as I took care of her the first week following surgery and she said she didn't want to keep me couped up so her mother urged her to go back home. I didn't think nothing of it. The day she got back I picked her up from the airport and things were back to normal. We hung out that day and then went to dinner. At dinner I noticed that she couldn't put her phone down and that she was constantly texting. I asked her about it tactfully and she said it was just family talking about how much they miss her. But I noticed her eyes telling a different story. I felt for the first time that she was not being honest with me. At any rate I just left it alone and continued on with my night.

When we got home she jumped in the shower and while she was in there her phone rang. So I picked it up and was bringing it to her when I noticed the phone say a man's name. At first it didn't occur to me but after a couple minutes I realized that the phone call was from her ex. I did not have the balls to approach her about it right away but later on in the night I finally asked her about it and then the walls came tumbling down. She told me she cheated on me with her ex and that she is still in love with him. I then told her that it was too late in the night to drive home but I expect her gone in the morning. A little less than a month later she told me at work that she really misses me and wants to hang out again. I fell for it and we hung out but she was extremely moody and crying all the time. Bing... you got it... she is pregnant! And she forgot to tell me she stopped her birth control by the way. Now what? After trying to gauge when exactly she got pregnant with all those calculators and calendars we realized that, due to her periods never being reliable, we have no idea who the father is. This obviously put a damper on our relationship and even though I tried to be there for her she really kept pushing me away and was really mean and rude to me for the next 3 to 4 months.

I did go to every baby appointment and even though she was rude to me I tried to remain pleasant with her. At about month 5 or 6 she started asking me to hang out with her, help her with baby stuff, be there for her... so I did... well that led to massages and kissing and sex and well we were seemingly back together and everything was actually going smoothly besides the fact that in the back of my head I still know that I could be doing all of this stuff and be left for dead if the baby is not mine. But I didn't care. I really fell in love with her for some reason and felt a weird bond with her. I have been a lot more careful although, probably just trying to protect myself but I still love her even though I may not show it like before.

Anyway... last week she headed back home again for the baby shower... her family wanted me to go but she felt that I would be out of place and that no men would be there... well you all know I took the bait again and agreed that I probably would be uncomfortable and that if its not a big deal to her then I will just stay here... she also told me that since the pregnancy she has not really talked to her ex and that she needs to meet up with him so they can talk about the possibility of the baby being his. She is 7 months into this thing now and I can't believe she hasn't already talked to him but oh well right? Welll she talks to me every day during the time she is away and also tells me that she decided not to meet him in person but to just talk on the phone with him. I thought that was OK and actually felt like it was a positive sign for me. She then told me that their conversation was horrible and that he hates her and ohhhh how happy she will be if the baby is mine.

Im now even more excited and happy about the situation... then it came... the all important text... "Can I talk to you about something?" she asks... well sure I said... well you guessed correctly again... she actually ended up meeting up with her ex the night before and now tells me that she realized once again that she is still in love with him and cannot love us both... but she doesn't want to necessarily be with him... it really confused and angered me so now I feel like I have been lied to again and it really hurts... I am hurting even worse now than I was before and I think that has something to do with that weird bonding I talked about earlier... but what now? Like I said she said she doesn't want to be with either of us right now and wants to just think about motherhood... what do I do? Is she just playing her cards to see who the father is first and then going to try to make it work with that guy? What is going through her head? But more importantly what do I do? I want to be there for the baby every step of the way but that is really hard because it involves me staying close to her? I am completely torn up... please help!

I think perhaps your on the ball when you say she is keeping her options open on the father of the baby.

For now take a back seat,as soon as the baby is born a DNA is called for,if you're the father,you need to establish paternity and visitation,do not rely on what she says,go through the courts.

If your not the father,move on,and stay moving on.

I do realise she is very vunerable,and perhaps quite confused as too what she should do,however,her actions regarding you remain clear.

You have chosen for whatever reason to be there, and support her through this, and that's admirable, as that's what she needs. You also sound reasonable, because to be honest, being a good friend when needed is one thing, but whether the baby is yours, or his, the results are still the same. Leave her confused a$$ alone, and keep it about friends, and the baby's welfare.

Doesn't mean you won't step up, and do the right thing if its your child, but you don't have to be trapped by a commitment to the mother of your child. You know where her head is, so don't be stupid or manipulated, or feel sorry for a confused person who is sitting on a fence waiting, like you, for all the consequences to come to a head.

Enough mistakes have been made, by ALL involved, so no matter what happens due the right things for yourself also. If it were mine, I would take responsibility, and that doesn't mean marrying her. I could not ever trust her, but would try to work with her to help raise this child. If it were his, see you, hate to be you! Cold but true, and we could be friends, and that's it, but only after a proper healing.

As you see, my mind would be made up, and my plan would already be laid, no matter what happens. That's the place you should be at right now, because forget what everyone wants you to do, and be forced into something by everyone else's agenda, motives, or intense feelings (even yours), and confusion, have your own plan, and stick to it.

The only facts that are important is she needs a friend, she is scared, and she is torn with feelings for her ex, and you, and she has a child in her future. The other fact is, after this child is born, other emotions, and feelings will surface (another FACT to consider), and more confusion.

Don't you be confused because in my opinion, she will make any one a LOUSY partner at this time, and you need full control over your own feelings, so you will do what is in YOUR best interest, NOT hers, IF its YOUR child.

Give it some thought, and a lot of it before you get swept up in a tide of emotions, and follow previous mistakes, with more mistakes.

QUESTIONS? I know you have many.

I don't know. You sound like a great guy. You probably will have to give her this space she needs, but if you are the father, then maybe you can be a family. If not, then triy to get over her