Bball4sho
Aug 22, 2010, 12:28 PM
Sorry if this is somewhat long...
Me and my ex girlfriend dated for almost 2 years. We are now 21 years old and go to the same college. We lived together for one of those years and had regularly talked about getting married after graduation. Everything was perfect in our relationship and we both agreed that we had never felt this way about anyone before. She even transferred colleges so we could be together. Anyway, we had a few small fights while living together about things such as laundry and dishes, but nothing serious. Our families are also really different, with my family being very traditional and didn't know (or would approve) of us living together before we were married. We also have to hide a lot of things from my parents, which was another problem for her. About a month before we broke up (we were still at college together) she started acting different and would not be affectionate at all, which unusual for her. Well, we moved back home for the summer (we are from the same home town too) and shortly thereafter, she told me she didn't know if she was happy with us anymore, wanted her space, and broke up with me. No where in our 2 years of dating were there any signs she would do this to us. She said she felt like she couldn't hang out with her friends anymore and that not being able to officially live together before marriage was a huge problem for her, and she apparently just realized this now. She also told me it "was likely we would be together again but not guaranteed" as she wasn't looking for a new boyfriend, but whatever happened, happened. After being broken up for 3 weeks with minimal contact, she asked to go to a movie and I accepted. We went out and had a great night just like we were dating again and she even kissed me and held my hand all night, without me initiating anything. A few weeks later, she told me she was hanging out with a guy from work and I flipped on her and how she was leading me on. She insisted hanging with this other guy meant nothing and I trusted her. A few weeks later, we hung out again, and she refused to be affectionate like she was the last time because I had flipped on her and she didn't want to lead me on. She then told me that she just wanted to "be friends, at least for right now". She said she still had feelings for me, but I wasn't going to change the bad things (laundry, dishes, how I never took her on dates anymore, and the fact that my parents never allowed us to stay the night together when we were home from school, etc.) in our relationship overnight and it would take time. I refused to hang out with her after this night because I didn't want to become "just a friend" and get stuck as just that. We have been broken up for almost 2 months now and we have very minimal contact. I know she has been partying almost all the time and I also know she has been hanging out 1-on-1 with some of her guy friends, which is exactly how we started. I just don't want to lose her forever and I really don't know what to do. We are moving back to school next week and will probably end up hanging out a lot in the near future. I'm afraid I'm going to become just a friend though and will have to watch her fall in love again or do things she might regret with another guy. Any advice is appreciated.
Me and my ex girlfriend dated for almost 2 years. We are now 21 years old and go to the same college. We lived together for one of those years and had regularly talked about getting married after graduation. Everything was perfect in our relationship and we both agreed that we had never felt this way about anyone before. She even transferred colleges so we could be together. Anyway, we had a few small fights while living together about things such as laundry and dishes, but nothing serious. Our families are also really different, with my family being very traditional and didn't know (or would approve) of us living together before we were married. We also have to hide a lot of things from my parents, which was another problem for her. About a month before we broke up (we were still at college together) she started acting different and would not be affectionate at all, which unusual for her. Well, we moved back home for the summer (we are from the same home town too) and shortly thereafter, she told me she didn't know if she was happy with us anymore, wanted her space, and broke up with me. No where in our 2 years of dating were there any signs she would do this to us. She said she felt like she couldn't hang out with her friends anymore and that not being able to officially live together before marriage was a huge problem for her, and she apparently just realized this now. She also told me it "was likely we would be together again but not guaranteed" as she wasn't looking for a new boyfriend, but whatever happened, happened. After being broken up for 3 weeks with minimal contact, she asked to go to a movie and I accepted. We went out and had a great night just like we were dating again and she even kissed me and held my hand all night, without me initiating anything. A few weeks later, she told me she was hanging out with a guy from work and I flipped on her and how she was leading me on. She insisted hanging with this other guy meant nothing and I trusted her. A few weeks later, we hung out again, and she refused to be affectionate like she was the last time because I had flipped on her and she didn't want to lead me on. She then told me that she just wanted to "be friends, at least for right now". She said she still had feelings for me, but I wasn't going to change the bad things (laundry, dishes, how I never took her on dates anymore, and the fact that my parents never allowed us to stay the night together when we were home from school, etc.) in our relationship overnight and it would take time. I refused to hang out with her after this night because I didn't want to become "just a friend" and get stuck as just that. We have been broken up for almost 2 months now and we have very minimal contact. I know she has been partying almost all the time and I also know she has been hanging out 1-on-1 with some of her guy friends, which is exactly how we started. I just don't want to lose her forever and I really don't know what to do. We are moving back to school next week and will probably end up hanging out a lot in the near future. I'm afraid I'm going to become just a friend though and will have to watch her fall in love again or do things she might regret with another guy. Any advice is appreciated.