So first off I'm for the most part a logical person. I'm currently getting my masters in management (yes believe it or not) however I cannot control my emotions. Secondly I hate text messages with a passion. I don't feel like I communicate well when I'm upset and they're to easy to abuse by either party.

Okay here's my petty complaint:
When I text message my boyfriend something to the effect of ''I miss you" he occasionally doesn't respond. Or it could be something that is confrontational... He doesn't respond. I've noticed a pattern where he is unavailable or forgot his phone when I send texts that I believe are a high priority. In addition, sometimes we will be having a separate conversation (through text of course) and he will be able to respond to those texts but not others. This is very frustrating... which in turn illicits an emotional reaction from yours truly.

Okay and now to my point. I feel like I'm an unstable person when I'm in a relationship and I don't know what to do to fix that. I need to feel important. Which by the way I've been with a man who needed to feel important and it was hell. I don't want to be like that. All needy and ****.. which is exactly how I'm acting... I've been to therapy and it hasn't really helped. I notice I obsess about petty things. My boyfriend is a great boyfriend. He does have a tendency to say things that can be hurtful... but not to my face. It's only through these damn text messages. I would like to can the text messages and have a face to face or at least telephone conversation, but he's not one to be on the one long periods and we live about 45 minutes away from each other.

I need help.. I may have been to vague but if anyone can relate please talk to me... tell me what you've done to help yourself?

I personally feel that he really is not that into you.
I'm not being smart or anything, but this is so obvious.
He sounds like a jerk.
But regardless, I do know how it feels and I genuinely hope the best for you---and I hope you find someone who really deserves you, because what you wrote sounds very reasonable---and no, I do not think you're "obsessing" or overreacting.
You have every right to expect that your boyfriend pay attention to you----or, at the very least, answer your texts or at least be honest with you instead of avoiding your texts. He sounds like a coward.
You do not deserve a coward.
Expect a real man.

You say that he's a great boyfriend. What's the problem?
Maybe he's busy. In my opinion, you need to find things you can do to keep yourself busy.

No adult should be available to answer text messages all day. Talk to him about it, see what is up.

Maybe it all boils down to needs vs wants.

Not all things are equal in any relationship, it is all about balance. I say that with a bit of sarcasm, because I hate to compromise, especially when I know I'm right. ;)

The most obvious thing to me is that distance is keeping the two of you from actually communicating. Texting is a short, temporary fix, in my opinion. Enough to make contact, but not personal enough to communicate on a meaningful level on.

You needing more contact and communication from him, and him not providing it, leaves you building up the frustration levels with no, or little resolve. At best, communicating this way is unpredictable because it isn't always possible to drop everything, to answer a serious text message that won't be resolved with a return short message. That doesn't help, it probably actually hinders the communication.

It is these small things that leave much interpretation up to the receiver (or sender), and makes little problems seem like giant ones.

I don't think you are obessing as much as you are completely frustrated at not getting enough out of the relationship as it stands now. Being 45 minutes away doesn't help, nor does living busy lives, and it doesn't help that there aren't 16 hours in a day to cram more in.

A relationship is an investment. You invest your time, energy, and so does your partner. When you add distance into it, and is it any wonder that things are unbalanced. Bottom line is your needs are not being met. That isn't a fault of yours, or his, it is just a fact.

So, what to do. If you can both agree that you need to change and improve the way you communicate, and make actual changes to do so, it might work. If you see a problem, and he does not, you are left feeling like the nagging girlfriend, when really you aren't, and stuck in the same place.

I personally don't know of anyone in a relationship that doesn't need to feel important to their significant other. If you don't, that is another example of needs not being met. Almost seems like, sure there is a ballgame going on here, but shortstop doesn't really have a good grip on what his third baseman is doing, and at the bottom of the 5th, in a tie game, you really need to know he's tuned in.

Why not plan a little serious face to face conversation with him, just for the purpose of trying to get a better grip on where the relationship is going. I just had a funny thought. Can you imagine sitting face to face, and talking in text?

No wonder you have your doubts. I would too.

I will admit that people I really like can drive me nuts with texts.
I have answered "i miss you" texts with , How can that be possible when we are in constant communication?
I miss you but if I spend all day reminding you , and you reminding me , I'll never get done so we can talk... or spend time together.

Limit texting to one or two a day. Don't overload.

Then stop the texting since it frustrates you and agreeing a time for phone conversations that works for you both.

It would help if you had better coping skills, as a way to deal with your feelings because you can't always just go off, or get carried away when you feel like it. If I were you, I would practice thinking before I take actions or express my feelings. Eventually with practice, you will be more in control of your actions, and words, and better able to cope with your feelings.

Its not hard to change the way you behave, or react, with practice, and a lot of patience... with yourself.