My grandparent had a VHS tape of a movie they taped off TV, about a girl who is mistakenly murdered at the home of a friends when they switch rooms and comes back as a ghost that can only be seen by one man, a sort of hen-pecked husband, whom she asks for help in solving her murder.

Try Topper Returns (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034303/)

Thanks! This seems both familiar and promising, I put it at the top of my Netflix queue and hopefully it's the right one. Don't you hate those movies that you can't remember for 20 years.