When I was like 6 years old I was circumstanced and now I'm 21 and married my husband can't even fit his penis in there someone help me can't even enjoy being married I'm afraid to seek a doctor and ask for surgery

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wish various cultures would prohibit this custom.

I know someone will come along to give you more specific advice, but please realize the only way you can get this problem fixed is by going to a doctor and allowing him to check you and probably refer you to a specialist.

Seeking a doctor is the first thing you need to do.

This isn't first aid, you need a professional.

I have to agree with the others.

I don't know a lot about this culture, but I once read an article about a woman from Africa, who is now a well known model in the US, that had this happen to her when she was 5. The description of what was done was horrifying. She was taken to the desert, and a woman from the village did the "surgery". The parts removed were left to dry on a rock so that she (the 5 year old child) could keep them.

The woman then sewed up her vagina and she left a hole barely big enough to urinate out of. For years this woman suffered unbearable pain and discomfort because of this circumcision.

She was afraid to go to a doctor because in her culture having an operation to correct what had been done to her, was taboo, and if anyone from her former home land found out, she would be banned from her family, the village, from everyone.

She ended up finding a doctor from Africa that agreed to do the surgery, and today she is fine, healthy, able to lead a normal life. She even has a child.

You really need to seek medical help in this. There's no reason why you should have to live with what was done to you. Sadly there's no home cure. Surgery is the only answer.

I know you can do this. We're all here for moral support, and I'm so very sorry that you had to go through this and are still suffering today because of it. I hope that you see a doctor so you can start living your life.

I wish you all the best.

And at least in the US, there is no fear of seeing a doctor, they do not make judgements and are just there to help you.

Great post Alty. As usual

And at least in the US, there is no fear of seeing a doctor, they do not make judgements and are just there to help you.

Exactly. Many doctors today are very accustomed to this type of corrective surgery. Sadly what was taken cannot be replaced, but they can reconstruct so that she can have a normal sex life, have children, have everything most people take for granted.

There should be no fear of going to a doctor about this. I really hope she does. I can't imagine having to live with something like this. I find it horrifying that some cultures find this acceptable.

I do have to ask the OP. How does your husband feel about this? Is he okay with you getting the reconstructive surgery, or is he the reason that you're fearful of doing this? Is he of the same culture and same beliefs?

Exactly. Many doctors today are very accustomed to this type of corrective surgery. Sadly what was taken cannot be replaced, but they can reconstruct so that she can have a normal sex life, have children, have everything most people take for granted.

There should be no fear of going to a doctor about this. I really hope she does. I can't imagine having to live with something like this. I find it horrifying that some cultures find this acceptable.

I do have to ask the OP. How does your husband feel about this? Is he okay with you getting the reconstructive surgery, or is he the reason that you're fearful of doing this? Is he of the same culture and same beliefs?


Why do they have to do that to the women?

Why do they have to do that to the women?

It's basically part of religion (although some people disagree that it's a religious practice) or part of the culture/custom of some countries. This is usually done when the girl is around 5 and it's usually done by someone who isn't a medical professional.

Here's a link that can explain what's done.

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBcQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFemale_ genital_cutting&rct=j&q=circumcision%20in%20girls&ei=7v9lTMvdIoWCnQfppMjnDA&usg=AFQjCNFGjFYgGOtuLw7xiGMVrnnmrkJhPw&cad=rja

It is mutilation, plain and simple. Most of these girls have issues their entire lives because of a botched circumcision or because, like the OP, the vaginal opening was sewn almost completely closed, with only a small hole left, barely enough to urinate.

Why do they have to do that to the women?
One of the reasons is that the culture believes this keeps women faithful to their husbands. The only thing is, in many of the cases, a woman can't even enjoy normal relations with her own husband, much less enjoy an extra-marital affair. And it's the old women who encourage this and perform the "circumcision." "It's always been done this way, so we will continue doing it."

One of the reasons is that the culture believes this keeps women faithful to their husbands. The only thing is, in many of the cases, a woman can't even enjoy normal relations with her own husband, much less enjoy an extra-marital affair. And it's the old women who encourage this and perform the "circumcision." "It's always been done this way, so we will continue doing it."

Exactly.

Some of the girls even die due to major blood loss. The "surgery" is not done in a hospital, many times it's done in the girls home, or worse, out in the desert like the model I mentioned in my first post. The woman doing the "surgery" is not a doctor, and if something goes wrong, she doesn't have the skill or the equipment to save the girl.


Prohibition has led to FGC going underground, at times with people who have had no medical training performing the cutting without anaesthetic, sterilisation, or the use of proper medical instruments. The procedure can lead to death through shock from excessive bleeding. The failure to use sterile medical instruments may lead to infections.

Found in the link I supplied before.

I've read extensively on this subject because of the story I read about the model from Africa. It shocked me to know that this was still being done today. Sadly there doesn't seem to be a way to stop it. If parents bring a girl to the hospital after a botched circumcision, they are arrested.

This doesn't apply to the OP though. She is an adult, and the surgery to correct is in no way illegal, nor will it cause any problems for her or her family. The doctors are very discreet.

Perhaps we should start a thread about this topic so that we don't hijack this one, or make the OP uncomfortable.

Exactly.

Some of the girls even die due to major blood loss. The "surgery" is not done in a hospital, many times it's done in the girls home, or worse, out in the desert like the model I mentioned in my first post. The woman doing the "surgery" is not a doctor, and if something goes wrong, she doesn't have the skill or the equipment to save the girl.



Found in the link I supplied before.

I've read extensively on this subject because of the story I read about the model from Africa. It shocked me to know that this was still being done today. Sadly there doesn't seem to be a way to stop it. If parents bring a girl to the hospital after a botched circumcision, they are arrested.

This doesn't apply to the OP though. She is an adult, and the surgery to correct is in no way illegal, nor will it cause any problems for her or her family. The doctors are very discreet.

Perhaps we should start a thread about this topic so that we don't hijack this one, or make the OP uncomfortable.

That is the most horrible thing I have ever read. Tying their legs together for six weeks after they maimed these little girls. OH Lord. I couldn't read all of it.

I'm going to search for the article I read. If I find it I'll post it on a new thread for discussion.

I think this is a topic definitely worthy of discussion, but we shouldn't discuss it further here. I don't want to upset the OP.

I read that article too Alty. It horrified me. But it also inspired me that this woman could turn her life around completely and also was prepared to share her ordeal and recovery with the world to help other victims. Maybe that article will help the OP.

Uma, I hope that all this isn't hurting you more, but I also hope you can see that we are all on your side with this, and I am absolutely sure any doctor you approached would be too. There is no shame on you for this. This is a tragic practice that people need educating about. It needs to be stopped for the next generaration of young ladies and it needs to be put right for those who have already suffered.

I am in the UK and a little research revealed that it is estimated that over 60,000 females living in this country have this problem, and doctors are very keen to help all the affected ladies. I was shocked to read that this practice is actually happening here. (Thousands of girls mutilated in Britain - Times Online (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5913979.ece)) I want you to see that people are becoming increasingly aware of this problem and want to help but please forgive me if you would prefer not to read this right now.

I don't know where you live but I assure you that you will not be alone with this problem. Please be brave enough to ask for the medical help that you completely deserve and which could change your life for the better. We are all here for you.

I read that article too Alty. It horrified me. But it also inspired me that this woman could turn her life around completely and also was prepared to share her ordeal and recovery with the world to help other victims. Maybe that article will help the OP.

Uma, I hope that all this isn't hurting you more, but I also hope you can see that we are all on your side with this, and I am absolutely sure any doctor you approached would be too. There is no shame on you for this. This is a tragic practice that people need educating about. It needs to be stopped for the next generaration of young ladies and it needs to be put right for those who have already suffered.

I am in the UK and a little research revealed that it is estimated that over 60,000 females living in this country have this problem, and doctors are very keen to help all the affected ladies. I was shocked to read that this practice is actually happening here. (Thousands of girls mutilated in Britain - Times Online (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5913979.ece)) I want you to see that people are becoming increasingly aware of this problem and want to help but please forgive me if you would prefer not to read this right now.

I don't know where you live but I assure you that you will not be alone with this problem. Please be brave enough to ask for the medical help that you completely deserve and which could change your life for the better. We are all here for you.


I'm overwelmed. I have been reading various articles on web about this and it gets worse and worse. I hope the op will see a Doctor. The good news is there is help. I'm very sorry you have gone through this. Come back and we'll try to help you sort this out.

I read that article too Alty. It horrified me. But it also inspired me that this woman could turn her life around completely and also was prepared to share her ordeal and recovery with the world to help other victims. Maybe that article will help the OP.

Uma, I hope that all this isn't hurting you more, but I also hope you can see that we are all on your side with this, and I am absolutely sure any doctor you approached would be too. There is no shame on you for this. This is a tragic practice that people need educating about. It needs to be stopped for the next generaration of young ladies and it needs to be put right for those who have already suffered.

I am in the UK and a little research revealed that it is estimated that over 60,000 females living in this country have this problem, and doctors are very keen to help all the affected ladies. I was shocked to read that this practice is actually happening here. (Thousands of girls mutilated in Britain - Times Online (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5913979.ece)) I want you to see that people are becoming increasingly aware of this problem and want to help but please forgive me if you would prefer not to read this right now.

I don't know where you live but I assure you that you will not be alone with this problem. Please be brave enough to ask for the medical help that you completely deserve and which could change your life for the better. We are all here for you.

I would LOVE to see people who perform that mutilation on a child have ALL of their gender specific organs surgically removed be it man or woman as a punishment.

Well I think the best you could do is visit a doctor. Did you cut those strings tying your vagina? In the desert flower it said thar you have to open it first, and then do it. By the way, I was always wondering what do those "surgery women" actually cut. I mean, a penis can be cut, but how about the female vagina??
Hope I helped!

This is an old thread BUT here is an explanation: WHO | Female genital mutilation (http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/)

As completely open and accepting of other cultures as I am, I have to say this is the one cutural tradition that I cannot accept, condone, or even turn the other way from. Often times this is either used to prevent a girl from having sex, or it is to remove the clitoris to prevent a woman from enjoying sex, as it is considered bad for a woman to enjoy it.

If this surgery was preformed in the US by someone, you need to report the person so that this doesn't happen to someone else.

And please, see a doctor, there are programs in place in the united states to help women like you who need the surgery, even if you cannot afford it, as it is considered medically nessisary to reverse this procedure

This thread is a YEAR AND A HALF OLD.

CLOSED!