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View Full Version : How do I deal with this


notwhatiexpected
Apr 17, 2003, 11:57 AM
I am a 29 year old female and have been dating a 40 year old male for 5 months now after 2 1\2 months he was living with me and after 4 weeks he asked me to marry him id like to think its because he is madly in love with me but id be fooling myself , I know this because he talks down to me all the time saying rude remarks and once even told me to go out and get laid by someone else because we rarely have sex in the 5 months we have been together its been about 20 times if that and believe me none of them all that memorable seeing as he does nothing to pleasure me (if you know what I mean) I've tossed and turned over the fact he may be gay seeing as I have found on his computer that he is searching and viewing gay porn but id like more to believe its just a fedish or maybe even bisexuallity he is very full of himself and shows nno remorse or even or knowledge of when he hurts me with his snarky remarks, when I even tamper with the idea of things not working out he makes out like I'm being y and that its not that bad what can I say to either get some improvement or get him out I feel as though he is the type to stay because he is too imbarrassed to leave because that may show error on his part.

orb
Apr 18, 2003, 05:27 PM
Him being embarrassed because he ed up the relationship IS error on his part.

From the sound of it, he has prior issues to meeting you... I'm not a marriage expert to any degree but I've seen couples that are married and can see why it works so well... they don't hide things (even things like seeing gay porn) from one another, and if a topic as such is brought up, they deal with it like mature adults whom want to show they aren't hiding anything from one another.

Trust me, marrying him won't make him (or you, for that matter) a better person... simply put, dump him if he doesn't shape up!

chaz1797
May 14, 2003, 04:47 PM
You know this guy has problems and you can't resolve them for him, if talking is not changing him then leave him, no one should have to put up with emotional abuse and he needs to deal with his problems before he gets into a serious relationship, sometime in his lifetime he has lost respect for women and that's his problem to deal wit and your young so go on with your life... Gosd bless and best of luck

Chaz :)

TCPlaysBass
Apr 15, 2007, 08:44 AM
I'm a 44 year old male. This guy is a loser. Don't walk away, RUN ! Run as fast as you can. There are good men out there. Go find one. You can't and won't change him, nothing will, he is the way he is and always will be. Just move on.
TC