My girlfriend, lets call her jess, and I have been going out for about a year and half. In this time spand I have had that best time of my life. 6 months into the relationship she had to go and work in a town about 2 hours away from me. It was hard at fist but we got into a great cycle and have delt with it. We have had our share of fights some worse than others but we have always been able to fig something out and be fine. Last week was the first week we have fought in a long time. She was going to come home for easter break to spend it with her family and everything like that, well I had to go to Washington DC for a trip. The weekend before this one I went up there and spent the weekend and that would have been the last time we will see each other until end of May. O I forgot to tell you that she is 2 years older than me, but that has never been a issue with us. Well before I met her she had/has a friend around my age and talk to him and everything. I know about him when we started to talk and started to see each other, well last summer that was the last time she ever said any thing about him and I had almost forgot about him. Well I guess he has been talking to Jess about onve everyother month or so and she has never told me, but that is not a big deal. He wanted to do something with her one of the nights this last weekend that she was home for easter since I was gone and when she is home she spends it with me and her family. She told him yea w/o thinking it was a big deal. We were talking the night before I left to DC and she ask me if it was OK and in the rush of getting ready and being so busy I said no, I didn't want to have her going out with a guy at night that wasn't me. To make it short we fought and I told her in the end that I would stop seeing her if she would go out with him and she said fine its over, after awhile I told her that I wouldn't break up with her but I was really mad, she was so mad that she didn't care and we hung up. About 3 days later I called her when I got into dc and she said she was still mad and that she loved me a lot but she doesn't like me right now and she thaught that it might be nice to have some time to her self and just be single for a month or so, and that ruined me because she promise that she would never do that. I haven't talk to her since and its been 5 days, I am going to call her tonight but I don't know what to talk about. I lover her and I know that she is the one for me and she knows that to but we are both really stubburn and that is killing us right now. So please tell me something I can do to make it better.

Thank you so much,
IOWA

If you are in a good relationship, that means you trust her, then why did you say she "couldn't go out with someone at night" if it wasn't you? I know you don't want anything bad to happen to her (duh) but if she can take care of herself, which she seems she can, then let her do what she wants.

Don't you notice that you are being unconfident, needy and paranoid? Three things that really scare off the babes.

Seriously, any woman stuck with one man, is going to be either very unhappy, or is fooling herself... you should be able to pick up signs of either one and then act accordingly.

By not letting her go out with A FRIEND, regardless if at one time they had feelings for each other or not, regardless if it is a boy or girl, you are controlling her and being manipulative.

It's an ugly place to be in and the sooner you realize that more you let her do what she wants, the sooner she'll want to come back to you. Its true and it’s a good way to make a relationship more functional for the both of you.

If she loves you she'll always come back, don't make her have to choose one or the other because that's a good way to break a woman's heart.

You know one of the othwer expert made it clear, trust if there is trust then you have not feared that something would happen, a man and a woman can be friends and not have anything happen between them, evan after having a relationship, I think her being mad will wear off, but give her the time she's asking for and communicate that it concerns you what is happening in your relationship, and ask how can you make it better. Listen and respect her feelings and wishes... Give her the time, if this is for real she'll return if she doesn't than let it go, but think positive. Good luck and God bless

Chaz patience is a virture that many of us don't have. :)

I just had an argument with my boyfriend over the way he speaks to me... he always seem to lash out in a jekyll and hyde type of way. We hardly get into arguments but when we do he is the most stubbornness person. During our argument on Friday I called him a word that slipped my mouth... I was so upset.. ( of course I didn't mean it) I tried to apologize the same day and he pushed me away.. he wanted to be left alone. I respect his choice... On Saturday... he still has not spoken to me... I still gave him his space... Easter Sunday... still no word from him. Mind you we live together... for about 6 months now... this has been difficult for me. Sunday he calls me while visiting my family and tells me to figure out how much he owes me and that he'll be moving out. I tried to talk to him and apologized about the name calling but he does not want to listen. What should I do.. I don't want him to leave I'd like us to work this out. Help please... he's probably home now packing his things.

About 3 days later I called her when i got into dc and she said she was still mad and that she loved me alot but she dosnt like me right now and she thaught that it might be nice to have some time to her self and just be single for a month or so,

Okay you said it was over, she didn't feel inclined to stay home even after you made it clear of your feelings she is MAD, its normal to have fights to say things out of anger, and the reality is that this could have been something she has been thinking about for some time, I mean according to your post, its not like you guys seen each other every day so by her making that statement I need time to myself for a "month"' that is just ridiculous. I always give my opinion on people who Put time limits on break. You have no idea in predicting the future and personally I feel dates and time frame gives the partner false expectations and cause waiting, in the meantime they miss out on the life in front of them only to find out that, the person doesn't want to get back with you then you feel resentment that you waited, only to find they are even more confused.



I am goin to call her tonight but I dont know what to talk about. I lover her and I know that she is the one for me and she knows that to but we are both really stubburn and that is killing us right now. so please tell me something I can do to make it better.

Thank you so much,
IOWA

Please don't call her, she has made it clear that she wants time to herself, unless you want to push her away and ruin any chance of her speaking to you. You would come off as controlling. Please give her the time she needs and take this time to focus on yourself.