I am expecting my first child at the end of October. The relationship between me and the mother is not looking good. I live in my own home which my parents gave to me and I remodeled. The mother moved back with her parents a few months ago and just moved in with me again last week. She has now decided she made the wrong decision in living with me and will more than likely move back to her parents. She is going to be 21 very soon and is still extremely close to her mother and has informed me she has no plans of moving out of her parents. What I would like to see is joint custody with our child having limited time at the grandparents home (her parents). She has a 13 year old brother who lives there with extreme behavioral issues and is required to take medication for that. Ive witnessed him get upset and grab a kitchen knife and threaten to harm people. About a month ago he made a statement saying if the baby is crying to loud he's going to put a muzzle on her. I feel unsafe letting my child live in her parents home but still needs a relationship with the grandparents. I work full time and make a very healthy income to support my home me and my child. The mother currently works part time. My past is not good. Im now soon to be 23 when I was 20 I had a drinking fighting problem. I have almost 2 years left of probation for assault that I did in 2007. Ive fixed those problems but still have it over my head. What type of custody rights would I be best off fighting for? And what are the chances of getting the time my child spends at her grandparents limited?

No one can predict what a court will do. Also, since laws vary by area its hard to help without knowing what area you are in.

It is likely you will get joint legal custody. However, unless you can prove the brother presents a serious danger to the child, the mother will be likely to get primary physical custody.

I would suggest consulting a Family law attorney, who can help you understand what rights you have and what you can do to protect them.

No one can predict what a court will do. Also, since laws vary by area its hard to help without knowing what area you are in.

It is likely you will get joint legal custody. However, unless you can prove the brother presents a serious danger to the child, the mother will be likely to get primary physical custody.

I would suggest consulting a Family law attorney, who can help you understand what rights you have and what you can do to protect them.


I live in southeast Iowa. I want the mother to have just as much time with our child as I do. My only problem is not feeling safe about her brother and past instances with the stability of her parents. The issues with her parents I really have nothing to bring fourth to a judge other than a child abuse report that no charges came of it. I just feel very strongly that grandparents home is not a good environment to raise our child during the mothers time with her.

Again, without proof the court is not going to act.