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View Full Version : Do I need a new boyfriend?


sweetluvin18
Apr 7, 2003, 08:31 PM
Okay me and my boyfriend (bobby) have been together for 7 months and we fight like everyday about something..
Since them 7 months we broke up (an actually real break up) for 2 days.. N I started dating this tom guy and we kissed.. And then me and bobby got back together and I told bobby about it and he got all mad and he told me he can't love me as much as I love him because of me breaking his heart. *we broke up because I thought we fought way too much* and then he told me that he can't trust me.
Well anyway we been together for about a month now and I met this new guy.. Tony
I already kissed him
We made out Friday night
Then after I was out w/tony I went back to bobbys house and slept there (we always sleep at eachothers houses)
Now I don't know what to feel
I really like tony
And I really like bobby
I could have tony if I want because he really likes me
But I don't know because I love bobby but I don't know if I can go on with bobby because of how much we fight
I don't want to break up w/bobby and go out w/tony and then realize it was a mistake later on down the road
N I don't want to keep seeing bobby and just forget about tony
I don't know what to do
Have you been in a situation like this
Do me and bobby fight way too much because my friend told me that her and her boyfriend were going out for a year and only and like four fights and they weren't even yelling
What's up w/that.. Is that how a normal relationship is
And am I just in a terrible relationship
Im scared to break it off w/bobby
Last time we broke up I was the one that went back because I missed him
Im scared I'm Going to hurt myself in this
What should I do.. I am so confused!
?

dwalex
Apr 11, 2003, 10:19 AM
Reality check time! You do not love Bobby. If you did you would not disrespect him like that and be with other boys. My guess is that you like the attention and even the negative attention of fighting seems better than being alone. You appear to get your sense of self worth from the attention you get from boys, that is why you give in and cheat when you deap down know it is wrong. You must learn to love and accept yourself as a valued worthy person regardless of the relationship you find yourself in. Once you get there then you can be happy with yourself and enter a relationship as a happy person and have the relationship add to the joy you already have in life; while at the same time, not feel devistated when you are not in a relationship. As far as your question, "no, you do not need a new boyfriend" you need to stay out of relationships altogether until you learn to like yourself as a person regardless of your relationship status. But at the same time, "yes" fighting daily is not normal so getting out of this relationship is probably wise. I would recommend professional help from an experienced counselor to help sort out these issues. Ask your school counselor for a referral.

Best wishes,
Dwalex

chaz1797
May 14, 2003, 08:54 PM
I agree with the last expert, respect is very important in a relationship and if you loved Bobby you would not have kissed other guys... You sound young and you just need to take things one day at a time and not be serious with anyone until you know it's for real and your going to respect that person's feelings...

Best of luck and God bless

Chaz :).

alif_ayeen
Jul 14, 2007, 12:14 PM
True Respect is very important in relationship.. friend we have no rite to spoil others life,u have to think and ask yourself first that what you actually want because there is a diffrence between love and attraction.. sometimes we like to be with someone,love to talk with but after sometime... like normal.. without feeling.. but love is totally different.. I love my girl friend a lot infect I already except her as my wife so I must say I love my wife a lot and she loves me a lot too.. more then I do and for her I don't want to look at other girls because I only want to see her in front of me... this is your life you have to decide either bobby or tony... I want you with bobby.. coz we also fight most of the time but after that again with eachothers with more love... fight is the part of love bcoz when we fight only after that we know how much we love our partner