I am 25 and so is my boyfriend. We have been together 7 years. 2 of those years we were separated and with other people. Then got back together. We have two kids. 4yrs and 8 months. We used to have a phenominal sex life when we first met and had sex 5 times a day! Now, I have to beg him to have sex. I give him as much space as I can without exploding and though I bug him to death at times, I try not to be desperate. I know that guys kind of want what they can't have so I've tried ignoring him and just being sexy and waiting for him to make the move, but it's not getting the results I want. I would be happy with once a week even though I want once a day lol... But I am wondering if this is a stage that all men go through at this particular age or what? He has had many women and I also think that maybe he's just burnt out? All I know is that I had a better sex life when I dated a 40 year old man! = P Seriously though, I would like some answers particularly from guys. I have tried getting really serious with him and asking him if he's just not attracted to me anymore, I mean I have had two kids, but I am not like really really heavy and he likes them chunky anyway! So what could it be? He tells me that he loves me very much and that he's really sorry and he doesn't know what's wrong with him. I am actually considering a vibrater which really isn't my thing and I've even started watching porn which is something I NEVER did before. I am actually worried that I may want to cheat on him and I never have and never want to, lord knows this man is the love of my life!
I guess I'm going to step back again and wait until he comes to me it's all I know what to do. Sex isn't a serious enough reason for me to leave him, I mean our love is way deeper and stronger than that. It would just be nice to have it once in a while. I just don't know what's worse, him not wanting to please me despite of his lack of interest OR me practically demanding it?? Please help!

How long has he been uninterested in sex, and do you still have sex now, just very infrequently?

While you may think that it shouldn't be this way, with a man so young, the truth is that sexual dysfunction can happen to any male, at any age, for many different reasons. If he is saying that he doesn't know what's wrong, take him at his word, and consider that this may have nothing to do with you.

When you have quiet time together, maybe after the kids have gone to bed, ask him how he would feel about seeing your family Doctor to rule out anything physically wrong. That little push may be the key in solving the problem.

In the meanwhile, I understand your techniques in getting him to notice you and desire you sexually, but, you could be inadvertently putting pressure on him to 'perform', and he cannot.

Before jumping to any serious solutions such as divorce, or conclusions such as he doesn't want to please you, think of this like you would any other problem that comes up. Take steps, start at the beginning, and work it through.

You have two young children. One of them eight months old. Do you work outside the home or is he the one bearing most of the financial burden? (I am NOT saying that stay-at-home mothers don't work or get stressed out.) Is he tired, stressed, concerned, worried, distracted, etc.

Does he have any habits that are getting in the way such as 'self-medicating', gaming, reading, masturbating, working on cars, gardening, etc.

When you attempt to initiate sex is it after he gets home from a tiring 'day' at work or just after you have been talking about household or children's needs/problems? Do you give him unwind time? Is he seeing you as more of a mother than a 'mate'?

Do you try to spend time alone together without the children in the house or go out on a date?