Gambit82
Aug 6, 2010, 04:29 AM
My girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago and I'm finding it difficult to cope. We have been together 4 years and I thought we would be together forever. There was a bit of an age gap between us, I'm 28 and she is 23, we met when she was 19 and I was 23.
Our relationship started as long distance, she lived in Birmingham and I live in London. We spent 2 years seeing each other every weekend and we always used this time to do nice things, go out for dinner, movies etc. A year ago she said that she wanted to move to London and start a life with me. I thought this would be great as we would be able to see more of each other and also it wouldn't put such a strain on giving up every weekend for each other. When she moved down things started well, she quickly took up the role of a housewife and always cooked and cleaned etc, we brought nice things for the flat and the first 2-3 months were wonderful.
I started to take things for granted and spent a lot of time playing computer games with my friends and not giving her the attention that she was used to. Our sex life started to fall apart and toward the end we were only having sex once every 2-3 weeks. I could see our relationship falling apart but at the time it was like I didn't really care - she was very dependent on me and was always saying how much she loved me but at the time I wasn't sure if I still felt the same and I started to push her away.
She came to me 3 weeks ago and said that she has had enough and wanted to move back home, she wasn't happy with her job and didn't really make any new friends so the pressure was always on me to keep her entertained and to be honest all I wanted to do when I got home from work was chill out on the sofa.
Initially I agreed with her that we needed some space and she spent a week at a friends house before she came back and packed her bags and went. It was only then that I realized how much she meant to me and now I miss her so much. I did all the usual things, begged for her to come back, sent her flowers, called, texted, begged some more, drove to Birmingham to see her only to be told her feelings weren't that same and she "doesn't think she loves me anymore".
Only 3 weeks ago she was in my arms and now its all gone and the sad thing is I let it happen. Something wasn't right in the relationship, I knew that but I didn't do anything to make it better. Funny thing is now I would do ANYTHING to make it better. I haven't spoken to her for a week now in the hope that maybe she would start missing me and call me. I do feel a bit better than I did in that first week where I wasn't eating or sleeping and just couldn't function at all, but deep down all I want is to get her back.
I know that I can do more to make things work but she seems to have totally given up. We've had a couple of break ups before but only for a day or two, but she keeps saying that she wants to move on. I just don't know what to do? I miss her so much but the more I tell her the more she gets angry with me. This girl was so in love with me and I just took it all for granted, and started to get irritated with her dependency. All I want now is her back and to start over! Is there anything I can do?
Our relationship started as long distance, she lived in Birmingham and I live in London. We spent 2 years seeing each other every weekend and we always used this time to do nice things, go out for dinner, movies etc. A year ago she said that she wanted to move to London and start a life with me. I thought this would be great as we would be able to see more of each other and also it wouldn't put such a strain on giving up every weekend for each other. When she moved down things started well, she quickly took up the role of a housewife and always cooked and cleaned etc, we brought nice things for the flat and the first 2-3 months were wonderful.
I started to take things for granted and spent a lot of time playing computer games with my friends and not giving her the attention that she was used to. Our sex life started to fall apart and toward the end we were only having sex once every 2-3 weeks. I could see our relationship falling apart but at the time it was like I didn't really care - she was very dependent on me and was always saying how much she loved me but at the time I wasn't sure if I still felt the same and I started to push her away.
She came to me 3 weeks ago and said that she has had enough and wanted to move back home, she wasn't happy with her job and didn't really make any new friends so the pressure was always on me to keep her entertained and to be honest all I wanted to do when I got home from work was chill out on the sofa.
Initially I agreed with her that we needed some space and she spent a week at a friends house before she came back and packed her bags and went. It was only then that I realized how much she meant to me and now I miss her so much. I did all the usual things, begged for her to come back, sent her flowers, called, texted, begged some more, drove to Birmingham to see her only to be told her feelings weren't that same and she "doesn't think she loves me anymore".
Only 3 weeks ago she was in my arms and now its all gone and the sad thing is I let it happen. Something wasn't right in the relationship, I knew that but I didn't do anything to make it better. Funny thing is now I would do ANYTHING to make it better. I haven't spoken to her for a week now in the hope that maybe she would start missing me and call me. I do feel a bit better than I did in that first week where I wasn't eating or sleeping and just couldn't function at all, but deep down all I want is to get her back.
I know that I can do more to make things work but she seems to have totally given up. We've had a couple of break ups before but only for a day or two, but she keeps saying that she wants to move on. I just don't know what to do? I miss her so much but the more I tell her the more she gets angry with me. This girl was so in love with me and I just took it all for granted, and started to get irritated with her dependency. All I want now is her back and to start over! Is there anything I can do?