Hi there, I've never done this before but here goes... my husband left me 2 weeks before christmas, nearly 2 years ago. I was left with two very small children. It was hell, I was desperate for him to come back and did some very silly things. Of which I won't go into. I was very depressed, weight loss etc. I then met a man 5 months after that, who I can only describe as the best thing that ever happened to me. He was amazing, caring etc. He virtually lived with me for nearly 12 months and we had the most fantastic time, doing things I had never had chance to do with the ex husband. You do different things with different people? However, about 4 weeks before we split my fella became distant and then he came to me to say he didn't want to be with me, needed his space etc. I was absolutely distraught. I couldn't imagine myself without him. I then found out that he had gone back to his wife. His wife had had an affair with his friend and moved him into the family home, my fella had to leave. Then she throws the new man out and seems to go to work getting her husband back. So my fella and his wife have been apart for 2 1/2 years and he goes back to her. My question is, will it work? I miss him so much. I can't help thinking he's gone back for the kids. Its been four months now and I haven't spoken to him for 2 months. Im not sitting round waiting but Im at a loss to understand how someone could go back to that.

They have a history, children and a life before the new man arrived,no doubt he still had feelings for her.

Whether he made the decision to try again for his children or himself does not really matter now,what matters is your left with your heart broken and questions that you have no answers for.

You can pick up the pieces again,you can trust again,it takes time and effort and sometimes lots of tears and frustration,but it can happen.

First of all,stop all contact with him,if he is making contact with you,ignore him,he made his choice.

If he is not making contact you have your answer,he's trying to make it work and doing the right thing by you and leaving you alone to heal.

Its hard on your own,I know.

Its hard when you have kids who don't understand and ask questions,I know.

Its hard to pick yourself up and start again,trust again,I know.

But you can make a great life for you and your kids,YOU can have a happy life,this man introduced you to new things,keep that up,keep learning about yourself,keeping trying and you will start to feel better,smile and even fall in love again,I know.

You won't find the answers for your questions, and in time they won't even matter. He's made his choice, that's to go back to his wife and to try to work things out. No one knows if it will work out for them in a long run after such long separation and her affair, but you shouldn't concern yourself with his life anymore.

Focus on yourself, be patient with yourself and let your heart to heal. Best of luck to you.

They obviously have unfinished business together, and a history. That adventure seems to be over, and maybe for the best.

So true... it really doesn't matter at this point if its going to work because he has already made that choice... no use wondering what might be... they have history.. children... and he still loves her... use this time to work on you... some YOU time... it will get better as the time goes on..

If it works or not is his problem not yours just don't hang around hoping to pick up some scraps, you and he had a good time, but he's gone back to the ex, who he obviously wants to be with, take your memories and move on, If he makes a mess of his reconcilliation that's his look out, not yours. You'll find others out there. But not if you are strung up on someone else's husband. Let him go.