To any complete stranger on the web who would kindly take their time, read all this, and help me out through a time where I just don't know what to do anymore.. I have people I can talk to, but I just don't want to talk to them. I just need someone to listen to me and give me advice, even if it's a complete stranger. If you are reading this, you probably have a good heart. I believe I am not a bad person at all. I am very kind, gentle, I care about others (maybe too much), people sometimes take advantage of my kindness... Recently, I've just been this angry person who I do not want to be and I think it's everything that has been going on in my life that has affected my happiness. Please, can someone talk to me. Thank you.

Hi lifeless,(I'll take out the numbers for a nickname sake:) )

What's going on?

Everything.. I'm about to turn 17 on the 22nd and school is about to start. I have had my license for about 2/3 months, but I've had my car for a while now. I still get treated like a baby. I know I've done some crazy things in the past. It was just a phase any teenager can go through. I used to go off w/ my boyfriend or friends and not come home on time and I get accused of doing all kinds of stuff. Honestly, I don't do drugs, smoke, none of that. I can defend myself even though I'm a girl. I know that anything can happen, but I know I can prevent it. Blahhh! I'm sorry I don't know where to start, I'm just pouring everything out. I'm just sick of everything... Please tell me where to start.

You are doing just fine.

How much of this will be a problem in a week?

Hi, life!(I like "life" better than "lifeless")

Happy birthday early! That's my mil's birthday -- she'll be 91.

Times haven't changed since I was your age. There's still a double standard for girls. Wonder why that's true. Guys seem to be able to get away with anything.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

I'm sorry I don't know what you are trying to say and thank you for listening to me.

Thank you! Happy birthday to her too. And I don't know why I put lifeless, I just made it up, I guess it came out of the blue. Yes, I have have one younger sister. That is so true Idk where to begin on how I feel about that.

Parents worry about their daughters a lot more than they seem to worry about their sons.

Will things improve once school starts? Will you drive to school, for instance?

I'm sorry idk what you are trying to say and thank you for listening to me.



Come back and vent... we'll listen and try to help.

Woo woo! Now you've got three of us listening!

Being kind is an attribute and you always win more than you lose by being kind.

Who knows how many lives you have changed by a kind deed or a gesture.

People alwaays remember the way a person treats them. They remember the kind ones the most.

Seems to me you are a wonderful girl. Talk to your parents and tell them exactly how you feel. You may be surprised at the outcome.

I'm glad I have people listening to me and I thank you for that. I really can't trust anyone, my family.. not even myself. Within my family, they talk about each other behind each others back all the time. We are a very close family my grandma had 11 kids 2 pasted away though. On top of that I have so many cousins. Speaking of cousins.. I was very close to one of my cousins.. let's call her shorty. She's really short. She's two years younger than me. I loved her to death. We were the best of friends. Now we act like we don't even know of each other's exsistance. (litterally) I knew her like the palm of my hand and she knew me like the back of her foot. We were that close. It all started 2 years ago when I began to notice that she was being really mean and she just gives me smart remarks. Like a smartass. She has her own issues, but I'm not going to go there. It was like last year in Sept. We went to the state fair, we had a blast. My boyfriend was there too. I don't blame him, but I think the reason why she hates me is because of him. I love both of them. Ugh Long story I just want to write a book about it. I met him when I was in 8th grade. He is a year older than me so he's 18 right now. I didn't go out with him until my freshman year. I fell in love with him. We're still together, but right now I'm so confused about him. I do want to be with him, but I want to take a break to see if I could last w/o him. It's like that saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone." I tried that 2 times, but I always end up calling him or trying to contact him or see him. It's just really confusing. My life is messed up. I know what I want, but then I don't know how I want it. I don't even know what I'm saying I'm just so stupid. My parents. I don't know I'm not sure if they like him he's a good guy really. He graduated as a distinguished scholar he makes straight A's, he dresses nice, he's just so sweet. But once my mom caught us kissing, not making out.. just kissing and she thought of him differently. That was like 2/3 years ago and until this day I don't know what she thinks of him.. I can care less about what my dad thnks because if it's OK w/ my mom, it's OK with him. He can say all he wants, but if she's right.. he's going to listen. Oh let me add that I used to be the biggest liar. I lied about everything, that's the little phase I went through along w/ the coming home late part. I'm leaving stuff out, but I think of them as I go.

Yes, I will be driving to school. I started to realize how I feel today. I just I don't know what to do. I know that everything has affected the way I feel and how I am.

Sorry for the late posts.

Your boyfriend sounds like a mother's dream for a daughter. Will he go to college? Away or local? Or will he be a Junior?

Take a break from the boyfriend and spend some time finding what you want. Be honest with your parents, be kind and more than anything else be true to yourself

We all lie sometimes when we're teenagers. But one lie makes people lose trust. Maybe your parents are the way they are because of this.

Gain back the trust. How old is the guy you're dating? What grade of High School are you in?

Thank you it makes me feel warm about myself that I know I am doing at least something right. My parent's are from another country. They don't know how I feel. They think they do, I know they try, but they just don't I was born and raised in TN and loving that, but I'm also proud of my heritage and culture. My parents are very protective of me and I'm very grateful of that also. Some people don't have parents like I do, but right now it's kind of the time to get over the fact that I'm not a baby. Speaking of babies. I'm not like those girls they see. They think I'm going to get pregnant or something blah blah.. ugh... any who, my little sister is a sweet girl, but she tends to annoy me. I feel so bad now that I realize that everything that makes me mad or if I am angry at the moment I will find a way to make her cry. She's only 9 by the way. I know it's childish of me to even mess with her, but I can't help it. I think I may be jealous of her or something I don't even know. I used to write poetry and I had a journal, but I lost my passion for that. Today I picked up a journal/diary looking thing and I opened it and wrote away. As I put words down onto that journal I start to cry because everything comes to my head like a slide show. Words, pictures running though my mind. Maybe it would help if I typed it on here. That's kind of why I googled and I found this website. I am a very emotional and caring person. I love to talk to people and help them. I seem to do things when people aren't looking, the good things. I wish sometimes they would notice now. I am the type of person that would perform random acts of kindness. Idk that's just how I am. I love to see people happy and smiling. It makes me so happy to see my mom talking to me like moms are supposed to, but that's rarely. She cares about me so much, I wrote a letter to her 2 Christmas' ago (that's what got me a cellphone, everyone had one accept me) and I cried while reading it to her. Saying sorry for all the pain I've caused her. I love her so much too. I can't show her enough. And it hurts me so bad that in school I bust my to get the grades I have I get A's and B's, but I strive for A's. I volunteer my time at places I can volunteer at. I am in National Honors Society at my school, that is the highest honor I can get. There are only 40 of us right now and I am one of them. I try to make them proud. No matter what I do. I don't hear them say that they are proud of me. I know they may show it in diff ways, but I want to hear it verbally.

National Honor Society.. that's great! You're doing right about putting your feelings into your journal. Kidness is the greatest gift you could ever give a person.

Four.

I at your age , did major stupid things just to have fun.

Then when I wanted to change I found that "You get to live with the reputation you built"

I also found that it can be built in a night and not torn down for years.

Here is a good place to start to feel better.
You are 17. You are entering one of the most fun, interesting, and educational (as to what life as an adult is) periods you can have.

Don't let your parents love and concern that you don't do more teenage dumb things and kill yourself.
Oh it is known by the teens as "being treated like a baby"

To adults as "love and concern"... I OD'd my kids on it too.

Behave responsibly , especially when in view, and it will change.

Woo woo! Now you've got three of us listening!

This is where I came in... I missed a lot! I need to catch up and hope I didn't make a fool out of myself.


Well. You really can't do much more right.

I know a mass of parents that would be ecstatic to have a child like you.

Your parents may not show it but I know they are proud of you.
How could anyone not be?

It is the kids like you that give me hope for the future.

It is a pleasure to meet you.

Four.

I at your age , did major stupid things just to have fun.

Then when I wanted to change I found that "You get to live with the reputation you built"

I also found that it can be built in a night and not torn down for years.

Here is a good place to start to feel better.
You are 17. You are entering one of the most fun, interesting, and educational (as to what life as an adult is) periods you can have.

Don't let your parents love and concern that you don't do more teenage dumb things and kill your self.
Oh it is known by the teens as "being treated like a baby"

To adults as "love and concern"...I OD'd my kids on it too.

Behave responsibly , especially when in view, and it will change.




You're right MartyZ... we love our kids and they think we are too protective. I think this young lady is a good girl who like all of us made mistakes. OP you keep posting we want to help. Good advice Marty.

He's going to stay in TN and go to Lipscomb University. He's going to be a freshman. && I am going to be a senior in high school. Speaking of Lipscomb... Ok let me just start where I left off from why I feel the way I feel and why I am posting my thoughts. (I'm glad I am though) Today, I woke up got dressed and headed downstairs. I told my father that I was going to krogers to get some brocoli and stuff( which I was) Then as I was going there I was like hey the mall is right there (I needed to get my nails done) So I went there first and got my nails done, but I didn't tell my dad. I made a mistake by not calling him and telling him, but w/e.. He called while I was getting them done and I couldn't pick up. My boyfriend was there too. I called him and told him there were some guys trying to hit on me and I was by myself so I didn't feel safe. He came and sat there with me until I was done, then we went to krogers and I went home, he went home to his house. My boyfriend and I also have trust issues. (This is the other part where I feel like I have to separate from him for a while. I'll get to that later.) When I got home I told my dad what happen and then my mom called yelling at me and telling me he's going to take my keys away. She called me stupid because I didn't tell him, but I didn't know I was going to be at the mall at all. I got my nails done because I'm going to California this week to take my senior pics w/ my uncle. They are making a big deal. My uncle gets off Sundays and Mondays, but I want to go on Friday they said it's busy on Friday so I have to go on Thurs and come back Sat. But I don't know right now about that. Anway when I got home my dad starts talkibg about that telling me I shouldn't go but His friend went through so much trouble sending the plane tickets to me for free (he works w/ the airlines in LAX) We argued, but it didn't last he just said you can go, but it's going to be hard for you because your uncle works.. *Sigh* When my mom comes home I hear her on the phone with someone probably one of my aunts.. She was talking crap about me. I knew it. It's really none of their business, but who am I to say right? Then she calls me down sayinng why would you do that and stuff. I was like I didn't knnow! She said why didn't you tell him when you were on the way I said I don't drive and talk on the phone. She was like so! You didn't call him when you were in the mall. At that point it was useless to explain to her. Everything I say, she says I'm talking back. Ok I know I feel guilty behing w/ my boyfriend, but WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING! I know I changed so much since back then I used to go out and do things w/ him behind their back. I know better not to get pregnant. I didn't tell her I was w/ him because that would ruin everything, but since we didn't do anything bad, I didn't have a reason to tell her. I don't think I should tell them every single detail of my life... I'm going to add this in that this one time, It was during the crazy phase I was going through, my uncle snitched on me and told my parents my boyfriend and I had pics of us kissing (I know bad move) Other people have it too, but I know I shouldn't be a follower. I just thought it was cute. I got in trouble for that. I used to cut myself too the first time was when my cousin "shorty" and I got in a hugee argument we didn't speak for a month, I was the first one to talk to her and we became friends again this was when I was in middle school. The second time was when I first got in trouble w/ my boyfriend and my mom found out the third time was when those pics got me in trouble. They are faded, but I can still see them a little, but it's not noticeable. Anyway.. back to the pics well I stayed in my closet and my uncle the one that now lives in Cali was staying at my house, he was going to move to Fl. And one of his good friends had a special gift from God. He can tell the future (no lie) Like he is an awesome dude. And he told me(it was later on when he told me) that he feels that there is something wrong with me and he wasn't in the house yet. They were somewhere else, but when they came home It was 3 in the morn I was locked in my closet crying my eyes out. My uncle knocked on my door I said leave me alone and he said are you OK. And his friend said she's not going to open it. I left for GA with my cousin and her fam that day to visit someone( that was my free escape)

I'm sorry I'm all over the place about things It's just coming out of my mind.

Idk what's wrong w/ me am I going crazy!

Wow, life! That was a lot to read and to take in!

You do have to admit that was a bad move to stop off at the mall without letting anyone know where you were (before the grocery shopping) and that it would take longer. This wasn't like a five-minute stop. And you managed to get your boyfriend to be there too. That took a call to him, didn't it? But no time to call a parent?

Do you really blame them for getting upset?

Thank you everyone for your help it's starting to make me feel better now. I think this website will help me. I also have a problem that I've tried to ignore for years. People see me as this pretty, prefect, smart girl.. honestly I'm nothing they see. I'm fat I think I am. My friends.. I have the greates friends ever, I've toned down the list though, because you can't trust everyone so I limited my friends. They always tell me I'm beautiful and perfect the way I am. I try to believe that, but I can't. My mom and her sisters are always making fun of me. They are diff. They are skinny and short. They make fun of me because I have size 7 feet and they wear size 5. They have small boobs so they say my boobs are too big (c36) not big at all! I wish they were bigger.. kind of not really. I'm 130 pounds and they are 114 or under that. One of my aunts, I think she is concieded. She looks like she is a kid, but she's like 35. She can pull it off though. She has 2 kids and she still acts young. She weighs like 97pounds or something (litterally) and she's like omg I'm fat I need to loose weight. They are all like that. All my aunts. They think they are fat because they weigh this amount. I love food, I love to cook, eat, and try new stuff. They call me fat. It hurts my feelings, but sometimes I try to defend myself. My Doctors tell me I'm average size and height. 5'3 and 130 pounds or less. My weight changes on and off, but it's never oveer 130. But I really don't like my skin. I have scars from back acne, not severe, but I'm embarrassed by it. And stretch marks on my thighs. I hate my body... My boyfriend doesn't care if I'm fat or w/e he's one person that makes me not feel that way, but when I hear from someone in my family that I eat too much. Myself esteem goes down again. It's not easy to loose weigh like it seems. For them it may be easy. But me My body behaves diff.. They call me fatass all the time, I just ignore it now but I think about it a lot. I want to be skinny.

They get upset because they worry about you. You say they are from another Country? How long have you been here?

The Cultural shock may take a bit of time to wear off. Earn their trust.

You sound fine to me. If you eat right most of the time and don't fill up on junk food and candy, that's what matters. I am short and small-boned and wear size 5 shoes and always hated my looks when I was your age. Five-foot-four or -five seemed to be a much better height and it used to be impossible to find shoes as small as I needed.

I'm 64 now and look back at my high school pictures. Man! I was cute, but I couldn't believe it back then.

I think body image is a huge problem for girls when they are teens.

You sound fine to me. If you eat right most of the time and don't fill up on junk food and candy, that's what matters. I am short and small-boned and wear size 5 shoes and always hated my looks when I was your age. Five-foot-four or -five seemed to be a much better height and it used to be impossible to find shoes as small as I needed.

I'm 64 now and look back at my high school pictures. Man! I was cute, but I couldn't believe it back then.

I think body image is a huge problem for girls when they are teens.

I agree... Body image in our teen years , what a hard time that was. But as WG said; looking back now I was really cute!:eek:

I was born here, I visited there once. They are from Laos. Southeasten Asia. They think differently than Americanized families. One thing I must say is that yeah all parents get worried. I did apologize to my dad, but my mom made me mad so I didn't. I know I did something wrong today, but it's just when I'm not doing what they say I am doing, it makes me so mad. I don't do drugs!! They think I hang around druggies. They see kids my age smoking, so they think I'm doing it. I promise to God I don't. They say the most random things sometimes. Idk where they get them from. When I'm by myself they think I'm with my boyfriend When I told them I'm at school for a class they think that I'm with him honestly they need to put things in the past where they belong. I am trying so hard to change and I've made progress. My mom let's my boyfriend come over when she's home and we just watch movies or do whatever, but she is there to supervise so yeah. I'm lucky she even let's me do that. But you don't understand! Peer pressure! So many kids my age are doing more stupid things than I am. There are some girls that will sleep with anyone to some kids that will drink and come to school hung over. I'm not sure if there are kids like that where you are, but there are sure a lot here. There are about 5 girls I saw pregnant before school was out for the summer. I know people that have parents that don't care and let them do anything they want. It makes me want to too go out to the club and do some crazy stuff too, but I know I'm better than that. My boyfriend doesn't drink or smoke, thank God for that. Back to the part where there are some parents that don't care what their kids do, I used to want that just because I wished I could do anything I want. But my cousin "shorty" She is one of those people I envy she gets everything she wants when she wants it. Her mom got her a cellphone when she was in 5th grade and I got mine in the 10th. Big diff there. I just got my car this year and she already has her permit and getting her license in May. I envy her. I always thought she was smart and gorgeous. But the funny thing is that she envys me. She told me herself. What could she possibably want that I have. Well, she said I have a great guy in my life, I get everything I want, I have the greatest mom, a dad that is not a bad drinker, so on. We did not talk since sept of 2009 and it will be a year next month. I hate this. I miss herr so much. Yet she doesn't care. I don't understand. The reason why we don't talk is because she wrote on her blog a whole bunch a about me. Excuse my profanity. She called my family and I es. (so disrespectful) She said She hated us because when we were kids my mom always defended me and I was always the wrong one. Idk, I didn't know what she was talking about. I have the blog if anyone wants to read. I'll change the names and places to protect anyone's identity. I also have the messages from when I messaged her first to tell her I didn't like the fact we weren't talking which was in Feb? A long time ago. She told my friend which is her friend that She tried so hard to talk to me and she can care less. Honestly she didn't try for crap. I didn't hear anything from her. I don't see her trying to message me or text me I told her if there is anything u need please text or call me I'm always here and I will always love you. What's sad is our families are close very close as in we live down there street from each other.

Nothing is wrong. It comes with the age.

I loved being 17 but wouldn't go through it again for anything.

Your mind will be all over the place because you are experiencing so many new thoughts and emotions. Daily It is bound to be confusing

Conflicts with parents happen... to people with parents that care. If they didn't they wouldn't say anything and let you do anything.
Communication is difficult with them because they live in different world.

You are looking at it from two perspectives that are never be close.
It is best to leave it at "If they didn't love you and care, they wouldn't say anything.
You may not understand them.. but it is based on love.

So try to see their side a bit.

I was born here, I visited there once. They are from Laos. Southeasten Asia. They think differently than Americanized families. One thing I must say is that yeah all parents get worried. I did apologize to my dad, but my mom made me mad so I didn't. I know I did something wrong today, but it's just when I'm not doing what they say I am doing, it makes me so mad. I don't do drugs!!! They think I hang around druggies. They see kids my age smoking, so they think I'm doing it. I promise to God I don't. They say the most random things sometimes. Idk where they get em from. When I'm by myself they think I'm with my bf When I told them I'm at school for a class they think that I'm with him honestly they need to put things in the past where they belong. I am trying so hard to change and I've made progress. My mom let's my bf come over when she's home and we just watch movies or do whatever, but she is there to supervise so yeah. I'm lucky she even let's me do that. But you don't understand! Peer pressure! So many kids my age are doing more stupid things than I am. There are some girls that will sleep with anyone to some kids that will drink and come to school hung over. I'm not sure if there are kids like that where you are, but there are sure a lot here. There are about 5 girls I saw prego before school was out for the summer. I know people that have parents that don't care and let them do anything they want. It makes me want to too go out to the club and do some crazy stuff too, but I know I'm better than that. My bf doesn't drink or smoke, thank God for that. Back to the part where ther are some parents that don't care what their kids do, I used to want that just because I wished I could do anything I want. But my cousin "shorty" She is one of those ppl I envy she gets everything she wants when she wants it. Her mom got her a cellphone when she was in 5th grade and I got mine in the 10th. Big diff there. I just got my car this year and she already has her permit and getting her license in May. I envy her. I always thought she was smart and gorgeous. But the funny thing is that she envys me. She told me herself. What could she possibably want that I have. Well, she said I have a great guy in my life, I get everything I want, I have the greatest mom, a dad that is not a a bad drinker, so on. We did not talk since sept of 2009 and it will be a year next month. I hate this. I miss herr so much. Yet she doesn't care. I don't understand. The reason why we don't talk is because she wrote on her blog a whole bunch a about me. excuse my profanity. She called my family and I es. (so disrespectful) She said She hated us because when we were kids my mom always defended me and I was always the wrong one. Idk, I didn't know what she was talking bout. I have the blog if anyone wants to read. I'll change the names and places to protect anyone's identity. I also have the messages from when I messaged her first to tell her I didn't like the fact we weren't talking which was in Feb? A long time ago. She told my friend which is her friend that She tried so hard to talk to me and she can care less. Honestly she didn't try for crap. I didn't hear anything from her. I don't see her trying to message me or text me i told her if there is anything u need please text or call me I'm always here and I will always love you. What's sad is our families are close very close as in we live down ther street from each other.

Talk face to face with your cousin. Be proud that your parents love you enough to care about what you do. Talk to her face to face and do it soon. I have always found a phone conversation isn't as effective as looking someone straight in the eye and laying your cards on the table
Very calmly. Try it!

Oh, Laotian! My mom's church sponsored a Laotian family who were absolutely wonderful! The food was to die for! And the family was so close, so now I understand about your parents seeming over-protectiveness. It's tough (for them AND for you) to be in another country where customs are so different. I have Vietnamese friends who always worry about their kids, especially their daughters. Daughters, you know, are like precious jewels to an Asian family.

Can you think of anything you can do differently to help them be more comfortable with the fact that you are growing up and becoming more independent?

I understand, and since I'm getting all this advice from people that have experienced, and that were here before me, I know that the advice I'm getting is wise. I will take in everything you guys have told me. I will try to make myself better even more by the day. It's just I want physical love not just emotionally. Like in church my parents don't hug me like other parents do they just give me a hand shake when we shake other peoples' hands and say "peace be with you" My mom has been though lately I don't know what changed her mind. It feels right when she does. My mom doesn't show me affection the way I wish she would. She doesn't talk to me like other moms, she talks to me, but it's awkward when we have conversations unless it's funny. My dad and I don't talk like that. When he does talk to me and lectures me he starts to get angry and talks about the past... Which makes me mad! I don't talk back, but I mumble little things. I know that I shouldn't, but It's hard not to. He sees things diff than my mom though. My mom seems to understand me more than he does, but when it comes to both of them, it's another story.

My cousin.. *sigh* Idk what to do about her. The other day my aunt and I was talking to both of us, but we weren't talking.. Which was very very awkward. I later told my aunt, "I told you, she doesn't look at me or try to talk to me." She was like I had a feeling she wanted to, but she didn't because she was embarrassed at all the stuff she said to me. I do miss her, but it's just I don't think it's going to be the same like it used to be. We go to the same school, when I see her around her friends say hi sometimes, but she doesn't. It makes me feel weird. Idk, if it's me or what. She told me that she felt replaced when I was w/ my boyfriend. I would never replace her w/ anyone, but I don't think she knows that. He think it's his fault, I don't blame anyone, but myself. The thing is I try to talk to her, but she shuts me out. I go to her house all the time, but she's always in her room. ALWAYS! I recently begun to see her at family gatherings. Like I said before she had her own issues w/ her mom and fam. Her and her mom didn't get along that well, she would curse and swear at her and still got everything she wanted. That made me mad because I was a goody goody and still couldn't get everything. Anyway... Idk how to start talking to her if I did or how to approach her. It's very awkward.

I understand, and since I'm getting all this advice from people that have experienced, and that were here before me, I know that the advice I'm getting is wise. I will take in everything you guys have told me. I will try to make myself better even more by the day. It's just I want physical love not just emotionally. Like in church my parents don't hug me like other parents do they just give me a hand shake when we shake other peoples' hands and say "peace be with you" My mom has been though lately idk what changed her mind. It feels right when she does. My mom doesn't show me affection the way I wish she would. she doesn't talk to me like other moms, she talks to me, but it's awkward when we have conversations unless it's funny. My dad and I don't talk like that. When he does talk to me and lectures me he starts to get angry and talks about the past... Which makes me mad! I don't talk back, but I mumble lil things. I know that I shouldn't, but It's hard not to. He sees things diff than my mom though. My mom seems to understand me more than he does, but when it comes to both of them, it's another story.

My cousin.. *sigh* Idk what to do about her. The other day my aunt and I was talking to both of us, but we weren't talking.. Which was very very awkward. I later told my aunt, "I told you, she doesn't look at me or try to talk to me." She was like I had a feeling she wanted to, but she didn't because she was embarrassed at all the stuff she said to me. I do miss her, but it's just I don't think it's going to be the same like it used to be. We go to the same school, when I see her around her friends say hi sometimes, but she doesn't. It makes me feel weird. Idk, if it's me or what. She told me that she felt replaced when I was w/ my bf. I would never replace her w/ anyone, but I don't think she knows that. He think it's his fault, I don't blame anyone, but myself. The thing is I try to talk to her, but she shuts me out. I go to her house all the time, but she's always in her room. ALWAYS! I recently begun to see her at family gatherings. Like I said before she had her own issues w/ her mom and fam. Her and her mom didn't get along that well, she would curse and swear at her and still got everything she wanted. That made me mad because I was a goody goody and still couldn't get everything. Anyway... Idk how to start out talking to her if I did or how to approach her. It's very awkward.

Face it head on. Go to her room and say: You and I are going to talk.

Can you think of anything you can do differently to help them be more comfortable with the fact that you are growing up and becoming more independent?

I would be so happy to find the answer to that question. As I am talking to you guys, and thank you for that, I'm texting my friend who came to drop something off for me today. She's 19 and my bf's 2nd cousin which is funny, but she told me she went through the same thing as me. Her parents still worry about her too, I mean that's a parent's job, but the things is they need to understand that we are growing up. She told me that they say the things they say even though we don't do them. And That I'm growing up so fast they don't know what to say or do. I understand they worry and care about me, but there are just some things that aren't necessary. They embarrass me sometimes. I just want them to treat me a little different. They sometimes talk to me like I'm my little sister, which is very annoying. I just want them to treat me the age I am. At times when they treat me like a baby I will act like one. I don't mean to, but it happenens.

My mom tells me all the time, that she knows what I'm thinking and how I feel, because she's been there, but really she doesn't know it all! She was born and raised in a diff environment so it's a little diff. for her. I just wish she would understand how I really feel I've told her, but she was like I'm not American. I said yes I am and so are you. I am proud to be Laotian/American. It's also diff for me because I grew up in a Christian family and I'm happy that I did. I have Laotian friends that aren't Chritian and their parents raised them diff. from me. I can say from what I see and hear for myself that some of them, their parents don't care what they do either. But I will not judge them.

I would be so happy to find the answer to that question. As I am talking to you guys, and thank you for that, I'm texting my friend who came to drop something off for me today. She's 19 and my bf's 2nd cousin which is funny, but she told me she went through the same thing as me. Her parents still worry about her too, I mean that's a parent's job, but the things is they need to understand that we are growing up. She told me that they say the things they say even though we don't do them. And That I'm growing up so fast they don't know what to say or do. I understand they worry and care about me, but there are just some things that aren't necessary. They embarass me sometimes. I just want them to treat me a little different. They sometimes talk to me like I'm my little sister, which is very annoying. I just want them to treat me the age I am. At times when they treat me like a baby I will act like one. I don't mean to, but it happenens.

My mom tells me all the time, that she knows what I'm thinking and how I feel, because she's been there, but really she doesn't know it all! She was born and raised in a diff enviornment so it's a little diff. for her. I just wish she would understand how I really feel I've told her, but she was like I'm not American. I said yes I am and so are you. I am proud to be Laotian/American. It's also diff for me because I grew up in a Christian family and I'm happy that i did. I have Laotian friends that aren't Chritian and their parents raised them diff. from me. I can say from what I see and hear for myself that some of them, their parents don't care what they do either. But I will not judge them.

Pray about all this and let God show you the right way to go. He will never lead you in the wrong direction. Blessings:)

I would be so happy to find the answer to that question. As I am talking to you guys, and thank you for that, I'm texting my friend who came to drop something off for me today. She's 19 and my bf's 2nd cousin which is funny, but she told me she went through the same thing as me. Her parents still worry about her too, I mean that's a parent's job, but the things is they need to understand that we are growing up. She told me that they say the things they say even though we don't do them. And That I'm growing up so fast they don't know what to say or do. I understand they worry and care about me, but there are just some things that aren't necessary. They embarass me sometimes. I just want them to treat me a little different. They sometimes talk to me like I'm my little sister, which is very annoying. I just want them to treat me the age I am. At times when they treat me like a baby I will act like one. I don't mean to, but it happenens.

My mom tells me all the time, that she knows what I'm thinking and how I feel, because she's been there, but really she doesn't know it all! She was born and raised in a diff enviornment so it's a little diff. for her. I just wish she would understand how I really feel I've told her, but she was like I'm not American. I said yes I am and so are you. I am proud to be Laotian/American. It's also diff for me because I grew up in a Christian family and I'm happy that i did. I have Laotian friends that aren't Chritian and their parents raised them diff. from me. I can say from what I see and hear for myself that some of them, their parents don't care what they do either. But I will not judge them.

My children have their own children. But I still "see" them as children , and I always will. Parents can't help that.

I will try that once I'm ready, I've been thinking about it a lot I know I will do it soon. I just think about the way she is going to react, is she going to be like "uhhh ok?" or "ummm for what? That's the kind of person she is. What I didn't like from her was she always got smart with me. She always made me look dumb.

I will try that once I'm ready, I've been thinking about it a lot I know I will do it soon. I just think about the way she is going to react, is she going to be like "uhhh ok?" or "ummm for what? that's the kind of person she is. What I didn't like from her was she always got smart with me. She always made me look dumb.

You are not dumb. Tell her exactly how you feel.

It's just I want physical love not just emotionally.
Been there, done that. I'm from a German heritage. I knew I was loved when I was a kid, but never got hugged and kissed by my parents. We Germans are practical and unemotional. The good thing is that that detachment makes me a good counselor. I don't get emotionally involved in my clients' woes. But it doesn't make me the best parent. Every now and then my younger son brings up the time he accidentally stabbed his leg when he was trimming bushes, and his mom (me) washed off the cut and bandaged it very matter-of-factly, but didn't hug or kiss him to comfort him.

How about if you gently hug your mom now and then or give her a kiss on the cheek, maybe to thank her for doing your laundry or making some special food?

Thank you you all for the answers and advice. You've helped me a lot. I appreciate it so much!

Is there a good way I can talk to my parents and tell them I need them to understand where I am right now. As life and stuff, my dad still thinks of me as his little girl, but I don't think that will change either I just want him to understand there are some things that he isn't going to like. Such as the fact I have a boyfriend. He doesn't want me talking to him at all. My mom doesn't tell him that she lets him come over.

I could give her a hug, but it might be a little disturbing if I kissed her on the cheek, it's diff when my little sister does it to her though. It's exactly the way I feel when you said your son sabbed himself and you bandaged it, but didn't kiss or hug to comfort him.

Thank you you all for the answers and advice. You've helped me a lot. I appreciate it so much!

Is there a good way I can talk to my parents and tell them I need them to understand where I am right now. As life and stuff, my dad still thinks of me as his lil girl, but I don't think that will change either I just want him to understand there are some things that he isn't gonna like. Such as the fact I have a bf. He doesn't want me talking to him at all. My mom doesn't tell him that she let's him come over.
If German-American families are anything like Laotian-American families, your parents won't "let go" of you until you are married (maybe) and probably not until you have your first baby.

Once I went away to college, things got a little easier. Are you planning to go to college? Will it be away from home?

I could give her a hug, but it might be a little disturbing if I kissed her on the cheek, it's diff when my lil sister does it to her though. It's exactly the way I feel when you said your son sabbed himself and you bandaged it, but didn't kiss or hug to comfort him.

Try hugging her and your dad and talk to them. Let them know how you feel. :)

I could give her a hug, but it might be a little disturbing if I kissed her on the cheek, it's diff when my lil sister does it to her though. It's exactly the way I feel when you said your son sabbed himself and you bandaged it, but didn't kiss or hug to comfort him.
How about kissing your fingers and then pressing that "kiss" onto her cheek? My mom used to do "butterfly kisses" with us, especially when we were younger. Or throw her a kiss -- kiss your fingertips and pretend to toss it at her?

Thank you you all for the answers and advice. You've helped me a lot. I appreciate it so much!

Is there a good way I can talk to my parents and tell them I need them to understand where I am right now. As life and stuff, my dad still thinks of me as his lil girl, but I don't think that will change either I just want him to understand there are some things that he isn't gonna like. Such as the fact I have a bf. He doesn't want me talking to him at all. My mom doesn't tell him that she let's him come over.


You should hear my daughters accounts of my meetings with boyfriends.

I was horrible (I realize this later).

I told my youngest's boyfriend " If you ever hit her, when I am done your mother won't be able to tell if you're face up or down"
This was the first time I met him.

Parents make mistakes.
Try to communicate... try to understand...
And I know I sound like I am taking sides with your parents I am not.

I just know if you understood ecah other more it will help.

I agree with you a lot but want you to understand a parents point of view

You should hear my daughters accounts of my meetings with boyfriends.

I was horrible (I realize this later).

I told my youngest's boyfriend " If you ever hit her, when I am done your mother won't be able to tell if you're face up or down"
This was the first time I met him.

Parents make mistakes.
Try to communicate......try to understand...
And I know I sound like I am taking sides with your parents I am not.

I just know if you understood ecah other more it will help.

I agree with you a lot but want you to understand a parents point of view

Martytz you sound like my husband:cool:

Yes I am planning to go to college. I want to go to Lipscomb University. And today my mom was blurting out stuff when she was talking to me. She was like I know why you want to go there it's because of your boyfriend. I actually like that school. I didn't know he applied or even got accepted. She didn't believe me. I just gave up and I just didn't want to argue anymore.

Yeah, I understand what you are trying to say. It's really hard. I know it's the right thing to do to talk to them, it's just sooo hard! Should I try and talk to them out of the blue or when they are in a good mood? Ahh, butterfly kisses, I used to do that to her when I was a little kid. Idk what happened to our mother and daughter bond...

Yes I am planning to go to college. I want to go to Lipscomb University.
Will Lipscomb keep you close by your parents, in state? Do you have other colleges in mind? Does it have to be a Christian college? (Why Lipscomb?)

Yeah, I understand what you are trying to say. It's really hard. I know it's the right thing to do to talk to them, it's just sooo hard! Should I try and talk to them out of the blue or when they are in a good mood?
I'd say make an appointment with them for a family meeting at a time when neither is rushed or preoccupied with something else like a TV program.

You should try meditation exercises, and each day think of 10 things you are grateful for and think about why maybe people in your life, or objects of sentimental value, or anything else. You could try going to talk to a therapist for a bit to try to get a little direction with what to do right now.
This sudden anger could be triggered by how you intereacted with some people. You say that you may have been taken advantage of. This could cause defensive, negative feelings toward that type of situation. Maybe from being taken advantage of the kindness you treated people with, it built up, to now and your reaction is anger. You should still be nice to everyone though.
You seem frustrated by being treated like a child. You should talk to your parents about this. You should respect yourself, and your parents, and try to find a way to make a change in being treated differently. They may not mean to make you feel like that, they most likely worry a bit, or want to protect you. Set goals for yourself that you can accomplish like traveling to another country with your parents, or maybe getting a job for yourself, or volunteer. While a change like a haircut maybe temp make you feel more mature, or ease the anger focused on this, a goal may be a better option.
Take some time to yourself every day to relax and do something you like to do that is fine with your parents.
You could consult your doctor about your unhappiness or change in mood.
Good luck!