View Full Version : What to do?
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 06:12 AM
My ex left me few months back.. I pursued him so much but he refused to come back.. then I used no contact rule for 2 months.. and I got his 2- 3 calls which I didn't respond.I also tried to talk to him from another number by behaving that I'm another girl that wants to do frndship with him.. but he refused to do frnship with that girl,means me which I pretended some other unknown girl which likes him... and I chatted with him by showing myself differnrt girl.atlast when I talked to him about his past ,he said he loved a girl which hurted him so much.now he donot want her back.he said.one side he called me last week after two months and also visited ma profile.and added sad stuff in his social networking site.he also hurted me so badly if he thinks I hurted him.. he spoke me lies.. but I love him so much.. and I want him to contact me.can his mind can change for me?and why he called me 2 weeks back after my 2 months of nc.. and visited ma profile.. and one side he said to another girl that there is no love feelings in his heart because he become hard hearted.. I'm just confused.. please help me
redhed35
Aug 2, 2010, 06:16 AM
Stop playing games with this guy,it is unfair to pretend to be someone else and try to dupe him into talking about you.
If he wanted to talk to you he would contact you.
Its over,time for you to move on and start no contact again,this time with no time limit in mind.
No contact includes,text,phone,Facebook or pretending to be someone else.
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 06:18 AM
You.. I'm in no contact with him... but what is going on in his mind.. I cannot understand... does he want me and love me?
redhed35
Aug 2, 2010, 06:23 AM
I can only guess what is going on he his head,and that guess would be,he's hurt and wants to get over the relationship.
Sometimes when relationships break up one person finds to hard to let go completely and may look at a social network profile or make brief contact,while it is a little confusing its understandable,they are hurt.
It does not mean in my opinion he wants you back or wants to try again.
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 06:26 AM
Thanks mam... but if he donot want me back then he called me after 2 months,when I stopped contacted him... means few days back.. he called me back.. why he did so?
redhed35
Aug 2, 2010, 06:31 AM
If you want the relationship to be over for good,then stop making contact with him and ignore his calls.
He may be lonely or bored.
If you want to try again then ask him,sort out why the relationship failed the first time.
To be honest this sounds messy and a lot of hassel,there is no need to tie yourself up in knots trying to figure out his actions.
Move on,for me,it sounds like he does not know what he wants.
He ended it,give him what he wants and disappear from his life.
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 06:47 AM
I cannot handle this all... a person who was madly in love with me treating like this?
I never expected that.. it is very hard to move on.. I cannot trust anymore on other guy now.. I donot have trust on love now... really I hate this bull love.. and I donot want to get married also.. all these relationships are fake.. and love is fake too
talaniman
Aug 2, 2010, 07:58 AM
I think your faking and games have totally destroyed any feelings he ever had of being madly in love with you and you should seek healing, as he has, and move on with your life... without the games.
You are hurt now, but it will get better if you work at it.
positiveparent
Aug 2, 2010, 10:20 AM
Sorry OP but the relationship with this person is over, its been 2 months, and you and he should both be on your way to moving on, stop trying to contact him, and don't lie to him or pretend to be someone else, he is entitled to move on, and you need to restart NC and this time stick with it. You haven't really gone NC yet, because of the things you've been doing. So start again, and this time stick to it.
Good Luck...
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 10:35 AM
But I have not broke my nc.. it was the other girl to whom he was saying.. all these things which was me.. and I think he didn't recognised me.. if he did,then I will not play such games and will stick to nc.. will it work for me?I am just confused because on side he called me and on other side he is saying the same thing to other girl,which he said 2 months back.. then what was the reason of the calling me?
Can I get him back with all his feelings?
This time I will not even do this also.. believe me.. I pretend him some other girl,then how his feelings can get destroyed?
positiveparent
Aug 2, 2010, 10:41 AM
but i have not broke my nc..it was the other girl to whom he was saying..all these things which was me..and i think he didn't recognised me..if he did,then i will not play such games and will stick to nc..will it work for me?i am just confused because on side he called me and on other side he is saying the same thing to other girl,which he said 2 months back..then what was the reason of the calling me?
I think he called you to check he had it right that being you were the other girl pretending to be someone else.
You have broken NC by pretending to be someone else.
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 10:44 AM
no.. I only chatted with some other number... not from mine.. and I didn't talked on phone.. because I donot wanted him to hear and recognize my voice.
I mean to say he called me on my number one week before.and today I chatted with him from some other number by pretending him other girl who wants to do friendship with him and like him.. in this way I initiated my chat by being a stranger..
positiveparent
Aug 2, 2010, 10:53 AM
Phone him as yourself from your own phone number and ask him does he want to get back with you and give things another try, and take his answer as being what he wants and means, then if he say he does want to try again go from there, if he doesn't go completely NC no more pretending.
Try this at least you'll know what is what...
kelly2
Aug 2, 2010, 11:04 AM
But dear... I am afraid to call him because today he showed me means to other girl who was doing chat with him.. his feelings that were few months before.. actually I want him to call me back... then I will talk.. means I just want to know that that is it fine that I did talked through chat with him.. means he could not recognize me that it was me who was doing chat?
And can I get him back.now I will never ever contact him from other number also by pretending me some stranger
talaniman
Aug 2, 2010, 05:32 PM
No wonder your so confused. You are confusing yourself with mind games, and word games, that have racked your common sense. Sorry to bee harsh, but YOU broke NC, no matter from what number, or who you pretended to be. A deceit you perpetrated to get what you want. A dishonest game that makes you look foolish, him to be a fool, and you beyond trust.
If you want a guy under those circumstances GO FOR IT! But if you want to get unconfused, you be honest with YOURSELF, and do NC, the honest way.
positiveparent
Aug 2, 2010, 05:49 PM
Sorry Talaniman have to spread the rep but that is exactly how it is OP.
No matter how you slice and dice it you've broken NC, and also deceived your ex.
Kitkat22
Aug 2, 2010, 06:01 PM
You messed up. Leave the guy alone. Guys do not want needy, clingy, whiny girls.Dear
martinizing2
Aug 2, 2010, 06:11 PM
Excellent points from you all. If you all weren't so damn good I wouldn't have to be spreading the rep almost constantly.
Kelly2 pay attention to what these people have told you.
You will be better off if you do.
I have a question for you.
You say you are still "IN LOVE" with him.
Yet when you detected that mentioning the other guy really hurt him... you did it again.
Why?
I am unaware of the part of love where you intentionally hurt someone in the heart... the most painful wounds you can give... in order to show you still care.
Please explain this to me.
Homegirl 50
Aug 2, 2010, 09:20 PM
Leave the guy alone and stop playing games with him. If he wanted you, he would call you and tell you.
Now what do you think he would do if he found out you have been making a fool of him with your games?
Leave him alone and you take the time to get over him. No more game playing.
Kitkat22
Aug 2, 2010, 09:25 PM
Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?
Leave the guy alone and stop making chiidish phone calls.
kelly2
Aug 3, 2010, 06:20 AM
Thanks to all for your advices.ya I love him.and from today I will stop every type of contact with him.means I will not paly any type of games.actually I was moving on in my life.but suddenly he called me back after two months of our breakup and my nc.so I started doing all these things.. when he called me back ,I thought might be he wants me.. because when he called me I cut his phone.but again he called me back and I did not pik up the phone.now I will never do any contact with him.. if he comes back then it is fine,otherwise I am moving on in my life already...
But evertime every second I cannot stop thinking about him even I am in no contact with him.if he thought that I hurted him,then after our breakup,I apologised before him so many times .but he refused.then I stopped contacted him and then he called me back last week... he is just a confusing guy who is also making me mad... he also hurted me by saying painful things during our breakup.that is why I expected from him to apologise and that was the reason I did not pick the phone.. the rest is upon my fate:)
Kitkat22
Aug 3, 2010, 08:37 AM
thanx to all for your advices.ya i love him.and from today i will stop every type of contact with him.means i will not paly any type of games.actually i was moving on in my life.but suddenly he called me back after two months of our breakup and my nc.so i started doing all these things..when he called me back ,i thought might be he wants me..because when he called me i cut his phone.but again he called me back and i did not pik up the phone.now i will never do any contact with him..if he comes back then it is fine,otherwise i am moving on in my life already...
but evertime every second i cannot stop thinking about him even i am in no contact with him.if he thought that i hurted him,then after our breakup,i apologised before him so many times .but he refused.then i stopped contacted him and then he called me back last week...he is just a confusing guy who is also making me mad...he also hurted me by saying painful things during our breakup.that is why i expected from him to apologise and that was the reason i did not pick the phone..the rest is upon my fate:)
Stay strong and we're here if you need us!