Hi Guys,

here's my story...

1 year ago I met this randomn guy at the club. We chatted briefly and he asked for my number. I don't believe in dating guys I meet at the club so as usual, I gave him a fake number and shortly I left the club.

As I was walking towards the carpark, he ran after me and said that he was disappointed in me for giving him a fake number. He texted the fake number and realised I gave him a wrong no. I was alone and quite scared because he was quite confrontational, so I figured OK, I ll give him the no and after that I drove off.

We kept in touch through phone text and two weeks later, we met up on a double date ( I brought a friend along). Date went well I tink cause he asked me out again. But the day before the date he said he was sick and in the end we didn't manage to go on a second date.

We continued to keep in touch and now its almost a year. To be very honest, I am quite curious about this dude and I am open to getting to know him better. He cracks me up over msn and he's quite an interesting dude.

He was always saying he will ask me out when he's back from his overseas trip at work n etc but nothing came out of it. And I kind of gave up trying to see if we will ever meet each other again... as I highly doubt his sincerity.

1 week ago, he texted me asking me if I want to go take a filming course together. I told him I am not that keen on a filming course, maybe if its photography I will jump in. Then immediately he said he is interested too. So since he found out about the filming course and stuff I figured I should do my part also and I shortlisted two schools which we could join. He told me to let him know when he is back as he won't be in town and that's about 3 days later.

so after 3 days, I left a message on his msn showing him the shortlisted schools webpage. He didn't reply. So I left it as it is.

He's like a dude that's been hanging ard for quite sometime, he's been showing interest but somewhat hesitant in meeting me.

I don't know what I should do . I tot of moving on and cut him off my life completely.

Its like every time he will chat me up and stuff and says we should hang out soon... but it never happens.

Some background info about this dude: Hes 28, he has never had a girlfriend before, I did ask him why, and he said that he always find reason not to like someone and half way he will give up. That's what he told me.

I am interested in him but it seems like he's not that sincere in meeting up and getting to know me better in person... sigh. Buti do enjoy talking to him. What should I do? Don't suggest that I ask him out...

As I was walking towards the carpark, he ran after me and said that he was disappointed in me for giving him a fake number. He texted the fake number and realised I gave him a wrong no. I was alone and quite scared because he was quite confrontational, so I figured OK, I ll give him the no and after that I drove off


Your gut was telling you something in being scared.

Sounds like lots of other guy feelings of hesitancy, especially about the flakiness... Sounds like a "player".

Sounds like a good permanent candidate for your "friends zone".

For extra courage in resisting such aggressive advances in the future, listen to the Lilly Allen song "Knock 'Em Out".

It starts "You're just doing your own thing, and someone comes out of the blue asking for your digits, and you say No, not in a million years, you're nasty...". The chorus line is "And no you can't have my number. Why? Because I lost my phone"... She comes up with all kinds of other funny excuses, as she describes the club pickup scene.

First of all giving your number to a guy who confronts you is a NO-NO! Second, after a year of farting around, and you still have established NOTHING, take the hint that he is not relationship material for you.

He has issues. That's as fair a warning as I can give you!!

You cannot dictate what type of response you get from anyone taking the time to answer you. To say, 'don't suggest that I ask him out", is an example of that.

I say, ask him out! This is 2010, and women do not need to wait for a man, any man, to take some initiative to see if there anything is worth pursuing.

Be straight with him, and honest, is another option. Talk to him, in person if possible, or by email, if possible, and tell him you would like a straight answer as to whether he is interested in you.

Tell him what you have said here. You get the impression that he seems interested, but nothing ever comes of it- and give him a few examples.

If you don't get a response, let him go, and delete his number.

If you do get a response, at least you're not just guessing, and can make an informed decision.

Without communicating with him directly with a few straight up questions, you will never know one way or the other.

I like what both Tal and Jake say.You aren't in a stage,like him,where you are just casually interested.Unlike him.His actions suggest he obviously likes interacting with you,but that's about what it is maybe.I doubt if he's thinking about the whole thing the way you are.Theres an obvious difference between casual,light-hearted fun and liking and serious relationship kind of liking.And you can't blame anybody for the way they feel,for sure.

From experience and without falling into the trap of generalising,these guys can't give you what you want,emotionally,if you are a serious relationship type.Would have been interesting to see what transpires by just ignoring him,not giving him too much importance,taking him as casually as he's doing you.But that would have worked if you really weren't "THAT" into him as you are :)

But since we know you are interested,just cut the games and be direct.Have it out.Ask him out,ask him what he thinks of you and if at all there's any chance for you two.That directly.(Dont think of "scaring" such guys off,cos from experience again,men who are serious about taking things to the next level and often cant,are secretly relieved if you are direct,honest and can communicate frankly!).

And then comes the main part.Post you get a response from him,positive or otherwise,just go with it.Dont try to over-analyse anything he says,just take it on face value and base your decision on that.

All the best:)

I don't know, maybe Tal is right that this has been going on for almost a year and nothing has happened and you he is probably not relationship material for me.

To be honest, during this time of 2 years I have dated a few men but its either I tink we aren't compaitable or they are looking for some casual companionship. I think I should just drop this dude since I don't get the feeling that he is genuinely interested in getting to know me better...

Hmmmmm I smell something fishy... You have been talking to him for an entire year via msn and texts and he hasn't seen you or made the effort to.

I don't know why but I just get a funny feeling from this story. If I were you, I would not ask him out on a date... think of him as a friend that you casually chat to over msn and leave it at that.

Not ever having a GF at the age of 28 already rings a few alarm bells... is he being honest, maybe he is married? I am not sure where you come from, but where I am from it doesn't sound right. Stay away. X

I dunno what i should do . i tot of juz moving on and cut him off my life completely. ..

Move on from what? You've had ONE date with him over a year and been talking to him via IM and texts. He is a friend and no more, so I think you have to take it at the face value.

And yes, never having a girlfriend at age of 28 is just creepy... something is wrong with this guy.

I mean I don't know if I can really consider him as a friend because technically we ve only met each other twice and texting over msn.

I don't know where this is even going. Moving on would be like just cut him off totally, taking him off Facebook and msn.. and just even letting go of the friendship...

What do you guys tink? Too extreme?