I was happy with my husband from the day I got conceived till my delivery
He was very caring.. but after I delivered a dead baby I was mentally upset
And he was a little consoled... he is angry with my parents becoz he think they are not bothered about my child... so the baby died out of careless...
But that is not true... it was a sudden unexpected problem for the child that caused this... he fought with my parents & angry on me also...
Lastly he left the place & said... I will not talk to your parents anymore...
But when I talked to him through phone he is avoiding me... he says I'm sleeping cal me later.. even if I cal earlier.. & he says I'm disturbed don't cal me... he is not picking the cal now... he said this last time I called take rest for 3-4 months & then you decide your life... till then he will not talk to me... this is impossible for me... he says not to meet him till the time.. tell me how to deal with the situtaion. Whether to be quiet for 4 months... or to plead him to talk.. becoz he is not intersted to talk to me... when I cal next min he says some reason & cut the calll... this situtaion is irritating,wounding & making me worry more... need your advice

You are living apart? Did he leave you after your baby died?

It sounds like both of you could use some grief counselling, perhaps together, perhaps not.

Why specifically is he blaming your parents? Do you have other friends and family to support you so you don't feel so alone?

I'm sorry about your loss.

I am very sorry for the loss of your baby.

I don't know why your husband blames your parents, or you, for the outcome, but to suggest that you or them had something to do with the baby being stillborn, is abhorrent.

That being said, perhaps the loss, although not seemingly bothering him, is bothering him to an extent far greater than you think.

People deal with death and grieving in sometimes, unpredicatable ways. A person you thought you knew, under the duress of dealing with a death, can be unpredictable in their actions, including what is normal behaviour otherwise.

We all need our own space from time to time, just to be alone with our thoughts, and private time is a good thing.

He may say four months or whatever, but maybe for the time being, take that with a grain of salt. He may think he needs four months, but until he surfaces again, on his own, without pressure, nobody knows when he will be ready to face his life again.

I do hope that you have someone there for you in the meantime, that can give you the support and comfort you need to move through this period in your life.

While we expect our spouses to support us, and be there during such times, sometimes they too, need to grieve in their own way, and are in no condition emotionally to support you.

In the meanwhile, seek solace in the comfort of friends and family and try to leave your husband to make the best decisions he can to deal with his loss.

I would suggest that each day, at the same time, simply send him an email, and don't ask any questions. Tell him you love him, and you miss him. No pressure.

I do hope that in time he will see that the two of you are stronger together, than you are apart, and will each be strong enough to give support to the other.

My husband is showing his rough character,after my baby died in delivery.he was of much expectation and he always used to say my child should grow with the care of my parents.you should be with my parents till he get age 1.. his parents are also very possesive of not to leave the child in my care... but after this incident he is getting angry with me always & says he is abroad for his job and I have to live with his parents... we shall plan for our next baby some yrs later... he is not willing to be with me... I need his support now.. but his wish to get away from me.. his mother is selfish & she is not happy since I got conceived.. and always shows angry face on me... she thinks his son will not take care of them after the child's birth.. but now she is happy... screwing his son, blaming me for the child's death & he started hating me... now everything her control...
Now my husband says if you don't wish to be with mother.. I have no sentiments I am ready to divorce u... already I am in mental depression... my husband's mad talks is still making me feel bad.*** help me

Par,

You need more help and guidance than I can offer you. I'm only speaking for myself, and perhaps others more knowledgeable of your predicament can offer some assistance.

All I can think of to say, is do you have a family of your own that you can get help and support from. Is there anyone you can talk to, and/or anyone that can offer to mediate this stalemate between you, and your husband and his family.

If a divorce is something he is threatening you with, perhaps, if it is possible, you might want to consider speaking to an attorney.

If there are others that you know of who have similar lives, or maybe a member of your church, or a trusted friend, can you talk to them?

It is impossible for me to know how much isolation you are experiencing from your husband and his family is of your choosing, or if there is something you can do for yourself without their influence and knowledge.

Either way, I wish you well, and I truly hope you can find a solution for yourself, rather than have one imposed on you.