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i go 18dumby
Aug 1, 2010, 12:16 AM
OK well I do my job good and sex is good a lot of the times but like my girlfriend is lazy and slefish in bed.she cums so fast and easily now sometimes after 2mins or in the middle of for play.she doesn't like to take over she just lays there and takes it.she only want to have sex when she wants and its happened like 4 times that if she doesn't fast she gets frusterated and wants to stop.and I go down on her a lot and she goes down on me like not so often.I feel used sometimes what should I do??

Alty
Aug 1, 2010, 12:25 AM
How old are you?

i go 18dumby
Aug 1, 2010, 12:47 AM
I'm 19 and she's 20 is it possible she can't help it because it werid but today she came just bye me sucking her breast

Alty
Aug 1, 2010, 12:52 AM
She seems to be very sexually charged. Most guys would see that as a good thing, some women never have an orgasm. Your girl doesn't need a lot of stimulation to get her there, and that's not a bad thing.

The problem is that she seems to shut down once she's had her pleasure, giving you the same pleasure doesn't seem to be that important to her.

Have you talked to her about this, about how you feel? Really, talking to her is the best thing you can do. She can't change what she doesn't know, and contrary to popular belief, we woman don't know what our guys are thinking unless they tell us. ;)

So talk to her. Don't be accusing, don't be angry, just tell her that this is upsetting you and you want to talk to her about it because you always want to be honest and open with her. Let her know that you feel like your pleasure doesn't mean that much to her, and that you would like some attention too. Be kind about it, rational, and honest.

The best way to build on a relationship is to always have open communication with the one you love.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes. :)

martinizing2
Aug 1, 2010, 02:09 AM
Any good relationship has to be based on honesty and communication in all aspects of the relationship.

As Alty suggested , talk to her about how you feel and let her know you feel you need more.

One suggestion I have is to let her "work on" you until you are close then let it become more mutual.
If she is as sexually charged as you describe , this may appeal to her.

But the main thing here is to keep the communication open and ongoing and honest.
This can be the means of overcoming a world of problems.

I wish you well

Alty
Aug 1, 2010, 02:20 AM
I want to add that at 20, most people are still learning how to deal with their sexuality. Being comfortable enough to initiate things, or try new things, that happens as you get a bit older, a bit more confident, and as you learn eachothers likes and dislikes.

A 20 year old girl isn't as "skilled" as a 30 year old. She may need a bit of direction, just as she directs you to what she likes and wants. If you're not telling her what your pleasure is, than she's left in the dark. Remember, not mind readers. ;)

i go 18dumby
Aug 2, 2010, 01:37 AM
OK this all makes a lot of sense I havet talked to her about it but I did tell her like a week ago then for 2days she gave me lots of attention in bed and did a lot sexually for me.. how should I approach her because she's very very sensitive and I don't want to hurt her.its new for her sense she only had two sex partners.I lost my virginity at 13 so everything she knows I showed her how to do.should I just keep adding on to what I teach?

Synnen
Aug 2, 2010, 05:23 AM
OH lord.

If you can't TALK about sex with someone, you shouldn't be HAVING sex with that person. If she's sensitive about it, then bring it up gently when you are NOT having sex. Don't make it sound like a criticism, but rather like--"you know baby, I really like it when you do X. I wish you would do it more" or something along those lines.

Allie602
Aug 4, 2010, 08:13 PM
Since she can orgasm so easily, you may want to propose that she take care of you first instead of the other way around. Since she is sensitive, and loses interest when she orgasms, you may want to avoid touching her in sensitive areas until she has taken care of you. She can learn to control her orgasms but it will take work and a desire to do so. The incentive for her is that she will be able to form mutually satisfying relationships if she expect a man to give her orgasms and have none himself she will not be able to form a lasting attachment. If this rings true with your situation you might be able to talk to discuss it with her. Let her know that you feel used, if she cares enough about you she will be willing to make certain you are happy.
It good that you are care about hurting her but the relationship is bound to fail if you are not sexually satisfied. So the best chance of not hurting her and at the same time make it a mutually satisfying relationship is to talk and work out a way that you are both happy. You're are sensitive so I know you will find a way to talk to her without making the encounter seem hostile. Every woman is different and each sexual relationship is like starting over as you learn what you each like. You are both young and learning but it seems as if she needs the most work. She needs to be patient and not to view sex as you giving her orgasms. Don't give up too quickly though, even if this relationship does not work out the skills you develop in this relationship will help you communicate effectively to get what you need in future relationships.