Shayla67
Dec 18, 2006, 06:27 PM
For over 14 years we have been trying our best to raise and help my husbands 16 year old he lives with his mom...
He's now out of jail (Beat up child with a group of friends using a lead pipes) He won't attend school. He is in a home schooling program that he is doing well in.
Let me back up a little.. The parent's divorced when the child was 9 months. The mother was caught having a affair and they split. I came along 3 years later. We dated for over a year and things seemed fine. She was jealous in the beginning because for some reason she thought her and her ex could work it out. That only happened after he had met me. He assured me he wasn't getting back with her and never wanted to work things out. The minute we moved in together all *ell broke lose. Any problems at school "sick" we were called not the mother. If she heard about trips and vacations she would get sick and try and make us take him with us. One time she went to jail and pick our vacation time because we were on a limited budget she knew we couldn't afford to bring him. Thank god for Grandma's. I even provided daycare for her until her son told her he wished she was more like me.. She snapped and when she came to pick up her child, she busted into my house and attacked me in front of her child. He was 4 at the time. My husband pick her up and set her outside and shut the door I never laid a hand on her. She hit my husband many times.. They both stood outside the door screaming until they got tired and left.. Later the child told us he was upset because his dad hit his mom..
This never happened I ask her why she would let him think that and she said "OH WELL"..
Ever since then it has been a huge battle. She calls on a regular basis mostly during dinner with lots of mean things and how he's an awful father. (He never missed a weekend during this, even though she would scream insults at him).
The child gets into trouble and lies.. Everytime he gets in a fight with his mom he calls us and tells us to F-off and how he no longer wants us in his life. She has gotten married and they are very well off. He says his dad is lazy and needs to make money... His father works 2 jobs and has to spend a lot in child support..
He, we all try our best to make him happy he told my husband recently to grow some balls and lose his wife.. This child has never given his father a birthday gift or chirstmas gift ever, he's never seen his child in a school play or watched him graduate middle school. The child asked him not to go instead he wanted his stepfather to go.. While the child was in jail the stepfather was permitted to visit but they wouldn't permit my husband. The child's "real" father was denied visitation unless the stepfather didn't show.
My husband visitation has stopped. Its left up to the child and he won't see his dad unless he gets rid of me. Ask him what either of us have done to him and he says I don't know (We took him to see a therapist at 9, he couldn't figure it out either).. He has no real reason he just thinks his dad would do things different if I wasn't around but that's not true.. So I leave him alone now and have no relationship with him.. I remember the days we had so much fun it wasn't until his mom remarried he really started to hate us (She's been remarried 4 years now) and he started getting into trouble. Our visitation stopped then because he got busted for drinking at school. The child said,"Going back and forth was too hard, he had to get used to his new family" that was 3 years ago.. I have been in this child's life for 13 years.. We try and think positive and that things will get better with time but they aren't. He keeps getting nasty.. Im a teacher by trade and I have never had an adults say the awful things this child has said to me.. I ignore it but It's getting hard.. I haven't seen the child in over a year and he still wants his dad to lose me and won't be civil to me at all when he calls the house. He's 16 now and tells me he remembers only from the age 11 on and that he can never remember when his dad came and picked him up for visits. He says he dosen't love us and wants us to leave him alone.. We are crushed and don't know what to do we love him so but he won't have anything to do with us... We have never hit this child, discipline was writing sentences... Help!!
He's now out of jail (Beat up child with a group of friends using a lead pipes) He won't attend school. He is in a home schooling program that he is doing well in.
Let me back up a little.. The parent's divorced when the child was 9 months. The mother was caught having a affair and they split. I came along 3 years later. We dated for over a year and things seemed fine. She was jealous in the beginning because for some reason she thought her and her ex could work it out. That only happened after he had met me. He assured me he wasn't getting back with her and never wanted to work things out. The minute we moved in together all *ell broke lose. Any problems at school "sick" we were called not the mother. If she heard about trips and vacations she would get sick and try and make us take him with us. One time she went to jail and pick our vacation time because we were on a limited budget she knew we couldn't afford to bring him. Thank god for Grandma's. I even provided daycare for her until her son told her he wished she was more like me.. She snapped and when she came to pick up her child, she busted into my house and attacked me in front of her child. He was 4 at the time. My husband pick her up and set her outside and shut the door I never laid a hand on her. She hit my husband many times.. They both stood outside the door screaming until they got tired and left.. Later the child told us he was upset because his dad hit his mom..
This never happened I ask her why she would let him think that and she said "OH WELL"..
Ever since then it has been a huge battle. She calls on a regular basis mostly during dinner with lots of mean things and how he's an awful father. (He never missed a weekend during this, even though she would scream insults at him).
The child gets into trouble and lies.. Everytime he gets in a fight with his mom he calls us and tells us to F-off and how he no longer wants us in his life. She has gotten married and they are very well off. He says his dad is lazy and needs to make money... His father works 2 jobs and has to spend a lot in child support..
He, we all try our best to make him happy he told my husband recently to grow some balls and lose his wife.. This child has never given his father a birthday gift or chirstmas gift ever, he's never seen his child in a school play or watched him graduate middle school. The child asked him not to go instead he wanted his stepfather to go.. While the child was in jail the stepfather was permitted to visit but they wouldn't permit my husband. The child's "real" father was denied visitation unless the stepfather didn't show.
My husband visitation has stopped. Its left up to the child and he won't see his dad unless he gets rid of me. Ask him what either of us have done to him and he says I don't know (We took him to see a therapist at 9, he couldn't figure it out either).. He has no real reason he just thinks his dad would do things different if I wasn't around but that's not true.. So I leave him alone now and have no relationship with him.. I remember the days we had so much fun it wasn't until his mom remarried he really started to hate us (She's been remarried 4 years now) and he started getting into trouble. Our visitation stopped then because he got busted for drinking at school. The child said,"Going back and forth was too hard, he had to get used to his new family" that was 3 years ago.. I have been in this child's life for 13 years.. We try and think positive and that things will get better with time but they aren't. He keeps getting nasty.. Im a teacher by trade and I have never had an adults say the awful things this child has said to me.. I ignore it but It's getting hard.. I haven't seen the child in over a year and he still wants his dad to lose me and won't be civil to me at all when he calls the house. He's 16 now and tells me he remembers only from the age 11 on and that he can never remember when his dad came and picked him up for visits. He says he dosen't love us and wants us to leave him alone.. We are crushed and don't know what to do we love him so but he won't have anything to do with us... We have never hit this child, discipline was writing sentences... Help!!