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View Full Version : New boyfriend advice.


kristennicolee
Jul 28, 2010, 01:18 PM
So I just started dating this guy a couple days ago. As background info, I dated him once before a year ago (for four days, obviously didn't work out. He broke up with me because he "wasn't ready for a serious relationship yet", and ended up getting back with his most recent ex a week later). Anyway. He's already beginning to worry me.

I've been friends with him since I moved here a couple summers ago, and we used to talk a lot. So, don't think the reason for the problem I'm about to tell you about is because we're still getting to know each other. I don't know him well, but we're certainly not in the shy stage.

So, whenever we're texting, his answers are really short. Like, "yep" and "oh". And whenever we hang out, if we happen to get time alone, he goes right into making out with me. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I do. But I don't know if I want to go that fast, and it kind of makes me wonder if he only wants me for sex. Because for some reason, it's really hard to hold a conversation with him. And I'd rather talk, really, before getting into physical stuff.

Here's a specific example of something he did that bothered me today:
He told me yesterday when we were hanging out that he was playing a softball game for Kroger to help support some lady with cancer, and that the game started today at 4. We were texting for a little while this morning, and when he ignored me for 2 hours, I sent him another text, asking him why he didn't respond, and he said it was because he was playing the softball game. I said, I thought that didn't start until 4. Then he said, yeah, he's driving there. Sooo, why did he ignore me in those 2 hours and make up an excuse for it that made no sense? Does he not want to talk to me?

So yeah, I just want opinions on that, and the physical thing. They're both really bothering me, and they seem to add up to, "I only wanna talk if we're gonna do something physical." I hope you see where I'm getting that idea.

Thank you!

slapshot_oi
Jul 28, 2010, 01:57 PM
I was just told off by a girl I was seeing (for a month) for the same reason for doing the same thing as your boyfriend. I'm not proud, it was actually embarrassing, but at least I think I can help you here.

Ignoring texts and calls usually means he just doesn't care. Obviously, this isn't always the case but you sense something's wrong and you're probably right.

If you still want to give this guy another shot, take charge and suggest date ideas instead of relying on him to. His mind is always going to go right to sex.

EDIT:
Otherwise, just hang it up and avoid be friends with him 'cause the sex issue will still get in the way.

Homegirl 50
Jul 28, 2010, 02:03 PM
Sounds to me like he not that in to you. Making out is fine but the rest not so much.
You have been dating two days and you're feeling "I don't know" already?
Could be your instincts telling you to leave this guy alone.

talaniman
Jul 29, 2010, 05:34 PM
You are dead on the money, as all he wants is the physical stuff, whether you want it, or not.

Dump the loser, and get someone who can actually hold an intelligent conversation, and really does care. Then you won't wonder or have second thoughts about what he really feels, and it will be more rewarding for you.