cameron09
Jul 25, 2010, 03:43 PM
I am concerned about the relationship that a man that I was dating has with his teenaged daughter. He treats her like an equal, another adult and their relationship seems odd. He is divorced and fought to get custody of his daughter, which he did now he does everything he can to make himself appear to be her hero and her mother the villain. The mother attempts to set some limits and hold the daughter accountable and give her some responsibility, but he makes it seem to the daughter that the mother is a bad person.
This was annoying, but really none of my business so I left it alone. However, when he told me about a game that he plays with his 15 year old daughter that involves him laying on top of her I was disturbed. I told him that I thought that his laying on his teenaged daughter was inappropriate and that I felt uncomfortable with it. He became irate, accused me of calling him a child molester, bombarded me with internet articles about the importance of physical contact with your children and on and on.
At first, I did not suspect that he may have molestation tendencies. He clearly loves his daughter and it would never occur to me that he would ever hurt her. But his extreme reaction to my expressing discomfort made me start to wonder. He does not have much of a life of his own and goes on and on about a girlfriend that he had when he was 16 and another when he was about 20. He is very involved in his daughter's life and seems to interact with her and her friends like they are his friends. He has a strong preference for girls and every chance he gets tells me that it is better to have daughters than sons because girls are easier.
His daughter is still allowed to sleep with him when she gets afraid in a storm or something and he discusses with her his sexual past and tells her too much of his personal business and asks for her advice on matters that do not concern her.
I knew that he was molested as a child, but I did not know until yesterday that he was in therapy for about 10 years due to his urges to molest children. He claims that he has never acted on it, and I did not probe. I was horrified that I did not know this and allowed him to be around my children. I quickly got off the phone.
My feeling now is that he uses all of the touching he does with his daughter to satisfy his cravings to be intimate with children.
Are people who have those urges able to control them to the point that they never act upon them? Should I be concerned for the daughter?
This was annoying, but really none of my business so I left it alone. However, when he told me about a game that he plays with his 15 year old daughter that involves him laying on top of her I was disturbed. I told him that I thought that his laying on his teenaged daughter was inappropriate and that I felt uncomfortable with it. He became irate, accused me of calling him a child molester, bombarded me with internet articles about the importance of physical contact with your children and on and on.
At first, I did not suspect that he may have molestation tendencies. He clearly loves his daughter and it would never occur to me that he would ever hurt her. But his extreme reaction to my expressing discomfort made me start to wonder. He does not have much of a life of his own and goes on and on about a girlfriend that he had when he was 16 and another when he was about 20. He is very involved in his daughter's life and seems to interact with her and her friends like they are his friends. He has a strong preference for girls and every chance he gets tells me that it is better to have daughters than sons because girls are easier.
His daughter is still allowed to sleep with him when she gets afraid in a storm or something and he discusses with her his sexual past and tells her too much of his personal business and asks for her advice on matters that do not concern her.
I knew that he was molested as a child, but I did not know until yesterday that he was in therapy for about 10 years due to his urges to molest children. He claims that he has never acted on it, and I did not probe. I was horrified that I did not know this and allowed him to be around my children. I quickly got off the phone.
My feeling now is that he uses all of the touching he does with his daughter to satisfy his cravings to be intimate with children.
Are people who have those urges able to control them to the point that they never act upon them? Should I be concerned for the daughter?