OK am 17yrs old and I'm dating a 14yrs Old.Her parents are divorced, and her mom is okay with us dating, but her Dad isn't okay with because he doesn't like the fact that I don't like him because he's always hitting her and treating her bad in front of her friends evrytime she goes over his house on the weekends,and he said to me to leave her alone and that if I didn't break up with her he was going to beat me up with a bat, and that he was going to find me and kill me. Do I have the right to sew him for threatening me? without me getting in trouble for dating her?? cause we love each other and we want to be together.

Quite frankly. You shouldn't be dating a 14 y/o period. And the fact that her father knows this and has expressed his views should be your first clue. Maybe he is the type to chase you down and live up to what he says. Is that where you want to take this? If you try to sue. Which you can't anyway because your under age. Are you really going to convince a judge that you should be dating and the father was doing anything but protect his child from a possible preditor?

First, there are no laws that cover dating. But there are laws about interference with parental rights. Since she is a minor, her parents have control and have the right to tell you to stay away. If you do not stay away you could find yourself in legal trouble.

On the other hand, the father has no right to threaten physical violence. But making such threats is not against the law. Acting on them would be.

Also 14 is just on the edge of dating and a 3 yr gap is over the edge at your ages. You may think you're in love, but at her age she doesn't really know. In a year or two you may be off to college and she'll be starting high school. VERY different periods for you both.

So you need to back off and wait. When she's 17 or 18 you can see if the relationship can be rekindled.

Parents do have the right to say who their daughter can date. I would be very apprehensive of this relationship if I were you.

If you keep seeing her against her Dads wishes you stand a chance of getting hurt and he stands a chance of getting himself in trouble for protecting his daughter.

Be warned... this isn't something you want to pursue. In a couple of years when she has outgrown you and she will, you will be the one who's left hurting.

Respect her fathers wishes young man or you're in for a lot of consequences that will not be good.

I would just be scared that he would find me and kill me. In many parts of the nation beating up a older boy ( almost 18) dating a child would get that done fairly easy. As me to tell you the story about this drug dealer that came to my yard to try and see my minor son one day. ( in south Georgia)

So yes, I would take his threat very very seriously.

Next he could merely have you arrested for interference with custody, they also charge that all the time here in Atlanta.
If you had sex it will be rape.

So is death or jail really worth dating her

Quite frankly. You shouldnt be dating a 14 y/o period. And the fact that her father knows this and has expressed his views should be your first clue. Maybe he is the type to chase you down and live up to what he says. Is that where you want to take this? If you try to sue. Which you can't anyway because your under age. Are you really going to convince a judge that you should be dating and the father was doing anything but protect his child from a possible preditor?

Actually my friend is going to sue him. He said that he foundout he can because he's still a minor:p

First, there are no laws that cover dating. But there are laws about interference with parental rights. Since she is a minor, her parents have control and have the right to tell you to stay away. If you do not stay away you could find yourself in legal trouble.

On the other hand, the father has no right to threaten physical violence. But making such threats is not against the law. Acting on them would be.

Also 14 is just on the edge of dating and a 3 yr gap is over the edge at your ages. You may think you're in love, but at her age she doesn't really know. In a year or two you may be off to college and she'll be starting high school. VERY different periods for you both.

So you need to back off and wait. When she's 17 or 18 you can see if the relationship can be rekindled.


Haha I like you man that's what I told him, but he didn't listen

haha i like you man that's what i told him, but he didnt listen




I'm not an attorney.. one of the lawyers here can address this.

You're 17, she's 14, her dad doesn't want you dating her, so you don't. The end.

She's a child. When she's an adult she can date anyone she wants and mom and dad can't stop her. Right now, she is their responsibility, and if one of the parents says no, the answer is no.

Why not wait a few years? Is she really worth getting in trouble for? We're not talking a slap on the wrist here, this could land you in jail, depending on what you do.

Be friends, but leave the dating until she's old enough.

And we wonder why some unexplained teen deaths happen each year, with that attitude I can see a dad threatening him.

And of course the 17 year old can't sue, his parents will have to sue for him

I think you need to read ScottGems response again. You must have skimmed it . He didn't agree with you going against the parents wishes. Read it carefully.

. . . because he's always hitting her and treating her bad in front of her friends evrytime she goes over his house on the weekends. . .
If this is true, tell staff members at your school so someone at least knows she's being abused, and then things can progress from there. This should have been your first reaction instead of wondering whether you can sue him based on threats he directed towards you.

Also, if he beats his daughter you can bet your last dime he will come after you with a bat.

actually my friend is going to sue him. he said that he foundout he can because he's still a minor:p

Wait a minute here. Who is your friend? This thread was started where you claimed to be a 17 yr old boy. So what would your friend have to sue him about? And since when can a 17 yr old file a suit about anything? A minor can't file a suit!

So something is smelling rotten here.

I think you may be older than 17 and the Dad found out. You get a friend who is younger pick her up, the Dad finds out and comes after you and tells the younger guy who has been shielding you
To stay away from her.

Or you are the fourteen year old girl posting this about your boyfriend?
How close am I to the truth?

This is only an opinion !

actually my friend is going to sue him. he said that he foundout he can because he's still a minor:p

Before you laugh your way to the courthouse. You need to check your facts. He CAN NOT sue anyone. Period. End of story. The only ones that can motion the courts would be his parents. They are his legal way to the courts and they can sue on his behalf. He can't sign the papers. And like I said. Your friend is asking for some deep trouble. When he goes in front of a judge they will ask questions.

Your friend or you or whoever this concerns is under age and cannot sue.

Next problem - you can only sue for monetary damages? What are the monetary damages?

Next problem - someone threatening to hit you/kill you is a criminal matter, not a civil matter.

Next problem - she is treated in this fashion and the mother doesn't call the Police on the father?

Sorry - too much here doesn't make sense.

And, yes, if I tell you to stay away from my daughter and you choose not to, you'd have a problem the next time you appeared on my property.

Making death threats (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_threat) is illegal in some places.

EDIT: For example, in California, from a lawyer's website (http://www.danieljensenlaw.com/articles/death-threats/):


Under California law, a death threat of any kind – serious or not – is a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in prison and restitution payments for any personnel, emergency response, or property damage the threat causes. In other words, if you plant a fake bomb and issue a death threat, even as a joke, you can be fined for the full cost of containing and disposing of the fake bomb. Depending on what cleanup services are needed, if any, these fines could be substantial.

In addition, the law does not distinguish between threats issued vocally and those in writing. Electronic communication makes no difference either, with an email having the same significance as a letter. The law does not take context into consideration, either. Even if not meant seriously, joke threats are still taken seriously by the law if the person receiving it feels threatened.

Making death threats (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_threat) is illegal in some places.


Agreed - minimally it's frowned upon. Of course on one side you've got the adult father. On the other side you've got a 17 year old dating a 14 year old. I still see no lawsuit.

I was going to put this on another thread but an arrest was made in NY on Friday - girl is 13, "boyfriend" is 18, father has "boyfriend" arrrested and is claiming sexual activity between the two. Girl denies, boy denies, father is persistent. Male was arrested and, if convicted, will be classified as a sexual predator. I have no idea if there is or isn't any evidence - that will come out at trial. Meanwhile... these situations can be expensive and destroy lives.

I think a man who beats his daughter and issues death threats -- to anyone --should be reported immediately.

If this man is serious, and it sounds like he is, this is a serious situation. His behavior is not an admirable father "protecting his daughter" but an abuser protecting his right to abuse his daughter without interference. Nobody deserves to be hit, let alone killed, for dating someone the "wrong" age.

I think a man who beats his daughter and issues death threats -- to anyone --should be reported immediately.

If this man is serious, and it sounds like he is, this is a serious situation. His behavior is not an admirable father "protecting his daughter" but an abuser protecting his right to abuse his daughter without interference. Nobody deserves to be hit, let alone killed, for dating someone the "wrong" age.



That's assuming "we" believe the OP - the father is hitting his daughter in front of witnesses - and the mother is doing nothing? The girl is getting hit and the 17 year old continues to come around instead of backing off to "protect" the girl?

I think this has to be looked at very closely.

Report him? Certainly - I see no harm in that. Let the Police sort it out.

Wish I were more trusting and believing - but I'm not.

Hi Judy
I wasn't arguing with you and also not defending the OP, although I would take this death threat seriously. I was just trying to focus the discussion on the needs of the girl. The father sounds dangerous to me and it's quite possible that the mother doesn't want to cross him either.

I agree about reporting him to the police.

If the Op is lying about who she/he is, he's lying about other things also... Kids do lie!

I normally take the OP's word as fact, until they prove otherwise.

This kid, whoever he/she is, came here, asked a very serious question, and then laughed in our faces when advice was given.

We have his side of the story, and only that. If the father is abusing the daughter, that is a matter for the mother to deal with. If it's obvious to the boyfriend, than I'd think it would be obvious to mom.

Maybe mom doesn't care. After all, she's allowing her 14 year old child to date a 17 year old who obviously doesn't respect the parents of this child.

Personally, if my 14 year old daughter was dating someone when I told her she wasn't allowed to, I'd be mad too. If the boy didn't take my "no" as an answer, I may be tempted to issue a few threats as well. I wouldn't go so far as to threaten death, but I would make sure he knew I was serious about the issue.

In this case the mother says it's fine for her to date this kid. The father says no. If we're to believe the OP, the father beats his daughter and the mother does nothing about it, neither does the boyfriend.

Personally, from that info alone, I'm thinking that mom turns a blind eye to everything and dad is the one looking out for his daughter. I don't completely agree that there's any abuse going on. This may just be a story, a way to control daddy "If you report my boyfriend, I'll tell people you beat me".

That makes more sense to me than the scenario the OP has created.

Just a guess.

The problem here is whether we believe the OP. I'm not prepared to do that. We start with the OP referring to themselves and the next post refers to a friend. Then we have a claim that a 17 yr old is going to file suit. When we all know that a 17 yr old can't file a suit and even if they could this is not a civil issue. And we also have the issue of a 17 yr old believing a 14 yr old is truly in love with him. All of which doesn't add up to a believable story.

And my spidey sense says it isn't true.

And my spidey sense says it isn't true.

I agree with JudyKay.. Either the girl is making this "abuse" tale up to make her boyfriend get angry enough to try and get her dad in trouble.Dad has caught her breaking the rules and grounded her. Dad doesn't want her seeing this guy who is probably a delinquent.

Or the other scenerio... she and the guy who is seventeen pretended to break up and he sent a younger guy to act like the girl was dating. The younger guy goes along with it and the Dad finds out and threatens him.

I will add this... the OP was either the girl or the younger guy. I'd bet all my Nine Season of CSI-SVU on it... He or she won't come back to respond.. even though there's no way we could ever know who they are.
They're to scared and childish.