PDA

View Full Version : I have a long distance relationship but I like someone else


RandomGirl11
Jul 24, 2010, 07:05 AM
I am in a relationship with this great guy! But the thing is, is that he lives all the way across the country... So I can never see him, hug him, kiss him... IT'S HORRIBLE! And I am sort of lonely... He would rather play video games than talk to me anymore! And is there any reason why he stopped saying he loves me? And I kind of like one of my best friends... He is always there for me no matter what. And he recently Confessed that he had feelings for me. He knew I had a boyfriend and he hoped it won't ruin our friendship. But THAT JUST MAKES ME WANT HIM MORE! He said I had a great personalty, I was pretty, and I had the perfect smile... UGH!! It's agonizing... He is Nice, Funny, Selfless... I would never cheat! Not even if my life was on the line... But I just don't... I don't know what to do...

jakester
Jul 24, 2010, 08:05 AM
RG - I'm not trying to tell you what to do but judging by the information you provided, the guy that is right before your eyes day after day seems like a really decent man. The other guy you mentioned seems preoccupied with whatever it is he's into (video games as you described it). On top of that, he's not within reasonable distance to you and the life you lead there.

I guess you have to search your own heart and also read the situation for what it is. Sometimes the old proverb "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" may apply to relationships; of course, relationships are some much more complicated than most other things.

Let us know what happens.

Homegirl 50
Aug 8, 2010, 07:28 PM
Things don't seem to be going well with the long distance guy anyway. He does not seem interested and you are looking elsewhere.
Call it quits and be free to explore what where you are.

Kitkat22
Aug 8, 2010, 07:53 PM
How did you meet the long distance guy?

lickemlolly
Aug 8, 2010, 10:46 PM
I think that it is easy to fall for someone that is right in front of your face... long distance relationships are hard to maintain... you need to sit down and really decide what you want to do... and if you want to pursue this new kindle then let buddy thousands of miles away know that its not working for you... but use caution... the grass is not always greener on the other side... this new thing may look interesting and exciting but that is because it is new..

talaniman
Aug 9, 2010, 06:27 AM
You do what's best for yourself within the boundaries of good behavior.

There are no guarantees that your best friend will be a better romance partner than what you have now.

But if your tired of this long distance stuff, be honest with your partner, and tell him so. You can't just jump from one guy to another, and expect things to work, when your not happy now with your present circumstances, so think well your actions, and deal with the commitment you have, before jumping into something because your lonely. That's a lousy reason for a relationship, and takes no account for a proper healing, IF you decide to end things.

Devorameira
Aug 9, 2010, 09:49 AM
Intimacy is vital in a relationship, and I don't mean just having sex. Lovers need to kiss, hug, hold each other, and look into each other's eyes. It means a lot to see your boyfriend smile, eat lunch together, and just be close to him on a daily basis!

In my opinion, if you don't interact at least evert couple weeks, then something is lost in the relationship. I think that void is affecting you big time.

Knowing that you're feeling lonely and are missing the elements of a real relationship, I'd consider breaking it off.

As for the new guy - you need to have some time to heal from the break up before you start another relationship.

vanheart
Aug 9, 2010, 07:00 PM
"You can't just jump from one guy to another."

Exactly.

What is it you want? Doesn't really sound like you want either one. There's something to be said of warm bodies, but at the expense of yourself or others.

I know about LD. Its sucks royally.
Lots of words & not enough reality.

Put things into perspective. Maybe try being single until you get to know yourself a bit more.

Relationships aren't a game, video or otherwise.

Ithappenstoall
Aug 10, 2010, 02:17 AM
I was in one for a year and despite having its good moments it had it bad one. Needless to say mine had other reason for not working out (not the distance) the fact is that sometimes you start to get detached and start to forget your other half. This is normal and you start to realize that those feelings that you thought you had for that person were actually not as strong.
The right thing to do is to come clean and be honest about how you feel, even if it is hard. The worst is to be dragged along, let go or let him go.

RandomGirl11
Mar 1, 2011, 07:44 PM
Thanks guys :/
Haha I know this is a bit late but... I broke up with long distance guy. After I healed a little... which took a while... My best friend asked me if I had feelings for him(again lol); I told him I did and we are now in a happy relationship andLong distance guy found a chick :)
All happy now ;)