My husband and my mother had a falling out. My mom thinks my husband is a bum. My husband does not disrespect her he has his own ideas and views. We are in our 40's and my mom keeps sending me little jabs by saying my husband is cutting ties with my family and myself and that is just not true at all I am very close to the rest of my family. I don't know what to do.

In my eyes he's your husband. He deserves your loyality. Me? I'd tell my mother to back off and call her on every "jab."

If she didn't she would see a lot less of me.

I refuse to defend my husband - I may not always agree but I always have his back.

I would have a canned response ready for every jab she makes, like "Yeah, right, Mom." Otherwise, I wouldn't respond further to any of her jabs and would move the conversation into something pleasant. In fact, I might just skip the canned response (why even acknowledge her nastiness?? ) and move immediately into the pleasant comment or observation.

Thank you for the input everyone! I just needed to hear if what I was thinking was right and It sounds like it is.

I would have a canned response ready for every jab she makes, like "Yeah, right, Mom." Otherwise, I wouldn't respond further to any of her jabs and would move the conversation into something pleasant. In fact, I might just skip the canned response (why even acknowledge her nastiness???) and move immediately into the pleasant comment or observation.


I can handle a straight out insult. I can't handle the little jabs. Those I address.

That and cowards who hide behind little jabs.

The fact that he is disrespectful to your mother has me wondering what kind of man he really is.

Is he a "bum"? Does he work?

How does he treat you? Is he disrespectful to you?

We all have our own opinions, and we can't expect everyone to like them. But if he is just minding his own business, and your mother attacks him just for being there, then maybe you should ask her if it's worth losing her daughter over.

In the meanwhile, he should treat her with respect at all costs. He can distance himself from her and be respectful at the same time.

I have to ask, how does your mother act with other in-laws?