Hi there,
Here comes my story...
Met a girl 8 years ago... I was 30, she was 21.
I fell in love, she was young, pretty and I loved being around her. I thought she did too, but then after some months of being together she cheated. She came back saying that it was a mistake, and that she loved me, and wanted me back... I gave her a chance and we got back together. Things went very well, until after about a year, when it happened again... Again, she cried and cried and cried for me to get back with her. I did again, because I love her. I swallowed my pride and gave her another chance. Well, now here's the part that will surprise everyone here. It's been 8 years, I'm 38 now, and she has cheated once a year since we started dating. Why the hell am I with her? Well, because I do feel I love her, and the times when she hasn't cheated have been great. And she has not been with the other people for more than weeks. I know because when we were fine, we saw each other almost every day. The cheating happened at specific times when we sort of drifted apart. Ok, so the last time it happened again I was really devastated. I said, "this is it", no more!. But now she has come back with a totally new argument for me, one that I never heard before. She says a friend came to her and talked to her about God. She went to a spiritual gathering, and she says she is a new person. She says that God has changed her, and that she has asked him for forgiveness for all the wrong things she did. She says that if we got back together, things would be so different because she wants to give love and please God. I still love her, and I was determined to leave her after the last incident. But now some people have told me that God is mighty and can really change a person. Could it be? Should I really give her another chance again? Have I not given here enough chances already? What I do know is that I feel like crap. I feel like all my hopes went down the drain... I feel that I'll never find love again. HELP!

Owing to the fact that, as you describe it, I would call her a serial cheater, how do think a long term monogamous (your side only) relationship will pan out ? This girl just loves being the centre of attention and she will always want that. I think she is putting you on with a story she thinks you will fall for. God works in mysterious ways, but I don't think this is one of them !

Tick

She's been doing the same thing for years. Cheat, then get back to you. Cheat, then get back to you. She never has to be scared to cheat on you because she know that you'll forgive her. She might not even feel guilty cheating. She only benefits from it. She has her fun while stringing you along. She doesn't lose anything from cheating.

You know why she can do it? Because you let her come back. Furthermore, every time you push her away, she will come up with something new.

She might use the "God" argument next year. What's she going to use next year? Are you really going to tell yourself that every year is the last year? And that she will be good from now on?

You've given her 8 years of chances, how many more years do you need to give her?

She is spewing so much BS in the air it gives me a headache. God can't fix stupid, that is an inherent quality. You are 38 years old and the pattern tells you that this isn't going to change. If you were a betting man, would you take the chance again? Just looking at pure odds, no way I'd gamble my heart for two years, let alone 8. You really want to risk your heart again?

You reap what you sow. REMEMBER THAT!

Thanks for your replies... I sort of expected that everyone would tell me that I should not keep wasting my time. It's just that I wish so bad the GOD argument was true. I wish that maybe God did change her; I've seen drunk people change after finding God... So, a part of me says GET OUT NOW! And the other part of me says "one more chance and it's it.." I mean, what if I walk away and find out that she had changed, and that her next relationship was successful? I would feel miserable to have let it go...

Thanks for your replies... I sort of expected that everyone would tell me that I should not keep wasting my time. It's just that I wish so bad the GOD argument was true. I wish that maybe God did change her; I've seen drunk people change after finding God... So, a part of me says GET OUT NOW! and the other part of me says "one more chance and it's it.." I mean, what if I walk away and find out that she had changed, and that her next relationship was succesful? I would feel miserable to have let it go...

You should feel miserable enough that you wasted 8 years of your life on her that walking away now is your ONLY option. I can't imagine how in the world you can repair yourself mentally after being cheated on at least 8 times. You need to do this for your own sanity!

I find it interesting that God just happened to find her after 8 years of absolute garbage, God has been around this entire time. She should take the responsibility herself to change and to admit her faults. It almost seems like she doesn't even acknowledge that she is screwed up here!

To kctiger,
Well actually she has admitted her faults this time. She wrote me a letter saying how she regrets having treated me so bad over the years, and that she knows that everything that went bad in our relationship was her fault. She also said in her letter that she would agree to couple counseling, and that she was willing to do whatever it took to make me feel better and to give me love to heal my wounds.

I know that to all of you reading it may seem so clear, but for me hearing that from her just confuses the hell out of me. IT'S SO HARD to let go when you have survived for 8 years!

IT'S SO HARD to let go when you have survived for 8 years!!

I think this sums it up very well. You shouldn't have to "survive" in a relationship. You should be living, enjoying, thriving, but not surviving, as if it was some sort of war or hardship you endured.

You have spent 8 years just "surviving"!

To kctiger,

Yeah, I know... But sadly one gets used to things, and to me what I had with her was happiness. It may sound pathetic, but I was happier with her than now, when I feel SO DAMN ALONE. To make things worse, when I think of my age now, society expects you to be married, have kids, bla bla... And now I have to start from scratch?? It's hard to face that... It's hard to face the fact that she may have never loved me and it sucks that my heart now wants her back so bad because at least I would have someone with me. My brain knows what to do, but the road ahead seems unbearable...

She won't change. Once you are right where she wants you, she'll do it again.
If God has changed her and he's the only one who can, see what kind of changes she has made.

You deserve better.

Thanks, but if I'm doing the right thing by leaving her, why do I feel like I'll never fall in love again?

Thanks, but if I'm doing the right thing by leaving her, why do I feel like I'll never fall in love again?

Because she is all you have put your dreams and hopes in for eight years. Letting go is hard, even when you've been hurt so badly. I think beginning a new life and the unfamiliar are also part of it.

You will love again, but you have to truly let go of her first. No Contact.
It will get better... Blessings:)

At this point, she is not the problem. If I were you, I would be looking deep, very deep in myself. I can see the final nail of total and complete "jadedness" being hammered. This time by God of course.

At this point, she is not the problem. If I were you, I would be looking deep, very deep in myself. I can see the final nail of total and complete "jadedness" being hammered. This time by God of course.

As I said God is the only one who can change people. God doesn't hammer anything into anyone. Go on with your life and let her go on with hers. You'll find your way to the person who is meant for you.

People sometimes use God as an excuse for getting what they want.
If she has been truly changed then she'll leave you alone and let you have peace in your life. I truly hope God has changed her. But even so could you ever forget?

Benjamin Franklin wrote, “God helps those who help themselves.” God doesn't change people. People change themselves. If they want to give God credit, so be it.

Quite frankly I seriously doubt her motives. You've already ingrained in her that cheating on you carries no sustainable penalty. She cheats, says sorry, you forgive. Repeat.

While not knowing her personally… I'd wager she'll do it again. You know Motcr5 you make a statement, “I mean, what if I walk away and find out that she had changed, and that her next relationship was successful?” Quite frankly I'm thinking her next relationship will be successful. Why? Because no man would ever put up with that kind of behavior and his actions and demeanor would make that apparent to her. Somehow she's pegged you for a pushover. You placed her on a pedestal thinking she'd bask in your love and devotion instead she lost respect for you, she walks all over you, and she's still looking for a real man.

Sorry bud. It hurts, but walk away. Good luck.

Check out the no contact related threads in my signature.

8 years is a very long time. You can't expect to cut your ties overnight and expect to be completely healed. That would mean that you didn't really care about her in the first place.

You haven't even begun healing. The pain can get worse as time goes on, but once it reaches its highest point, it will get easier from there.

As for giving her another chance. You've given her 8 years of chances. I'm surprised you even took her back after the first time she cheated. She may be putting in some effort to win you back this time. So let's say you take her back. She's virtually invisible when it comes to cheating. She can cheat all she wants because she knows what it takes to win you back anyway.

I won't lie, it's not going to be an easy journey in your recovery process. It's going to have its challenges and you're going to be tempted to get back with her, especially if she's persistent.

It's all about will power at this point.

God does change people. He comes into their heart and if they are truly saved they change.

Yes God does help those who help themselves. It's not for anyone to say whether God has come into her heart or not.

She knows if he has and God knows. To the op I still say you need to start over with someone else when the time is right. Good Luck.

What kind of woman cheats on her partner on a yearly basis, One with no respect for you, her or the relationship, of course she's saying that she's changed and she's seen the light, however after all these years, how can you even consider letting her back into your life, again, perhaps you could tell her come back in a year from now if you're still into God and have seriously changed, Ill have seen the proof of this by then.

Its entirely up to you, but it's a huge risk you take, she's said sorry more times that she's changed her undies so far. How on earth can you take her back with her history.

There's a true saying,

Once a mistake maybe, twice is blatant baby.

Im sorry but I would think as soon as she's back in your favour and her feet are back under the table she may be good for 6/9 months or even more, but in time, she`ll go back to type.

You have to make a choice and that is do you let her back into your life and have to spend the rest of it worrying, is she going to do the same again, and one day you come home and she's upped and gone. Or do you say enough is enough and let her go her way you go yours.

She hasn't given you one ounce of respect or consideration for 8 years, what makes you think she's going to become wife or g/f of the year now, plus how do you know its only been once a year, those could just be the times she's told you about, plus have you had a check for STDs or AIDS, she may have given you a gift you don't want.

Its your choice, but I would ask do you really consider yourself doormat material or are you a decent human being...

She's what we over here would call a Happy Slapper, slapping it here or there without consideration or care, a thoughtless selfish knickerless trollope. JMO

Wow, thanks for all the replies. When I sat this morning to write my question, I was feeling as bad as you can imagine; totally empty inside, without any hope. Reading all the replies at least has made me realize that there are people out there who care; and somewhere I may find someone to love again. But I can't deny it; she's still holding my heart in her hands, and it will take all my strength to decide to walk away. I just hope down the line I can look back and see that I made the right decision. Pretty much ALL of your replies are pointing in the same direction. Like Kitkat22 said, maybe God did touch her, and if so, she should let me go and heal... But I'm telling you, all my crying hasn't helped a bit yet... How long will it take for me to want to get up in the morning?

Hi motcr5
Im not going to tell you the pain is going to go away over night it won't, but if you now go No Contact and stick with that, rules and more details on forum opening page in stickies.

You'll in time find it does get easier, and you will heal and in the fullness of time you'll regain yourself respect and dignity, and move on from this. You'll find by going NC it will get easier day by day one step at a time, you feel awful now, and that's understandable, but it should be her that's feeling like sh*t not you.

Plus by going NC you'll also learn to get along without her, she wasn't doing you any good, in anyway whatsoever, she treated you worse than Id treat an enemy, although Id still, respect an enemy and treat them with some level of respect, I do know how it hurts for you, its like hell on earth, but it does pass it does get easier, and you will in time go on and want to love again, and the right one for you is still out there, and that person will love you and respect you honour you and be true to you.

Were always here for you too, you can come here and vent get it off your chest, and know you'll have a support team, of sorts here for you if you need us.

Good Luck and I am going to say a prayer or two for you. And you will heal you really will...

all my crying hasn't helped a bit yet... How long will it take for me to want to get up in the morning??
Piffle! I'm wiping your tears and telling you to get out there to hook up as a volunteer at a hospital or an animal shelter or a library. There are a lot of people and animals who need you and are new friends waiting to be made. Walk dogs, brush cats, transport hospitalized patients to tests and then back to their rooms, join a book discussion group or help with processing DVDs and video games. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Start a writing group at your local public library. I did. We had an amazing meeting last night at the library -- we being the two-year-old writer's group that we have named The Writing Factory. Joel has Asperger's and is a wonderful sci-fi writer, Diana is always hoping for heaps of praise for her boring essays, Jo-Jo writes charming stories that are slices of her life, Jeff just got an IT book published and is working on a second one about social networking, Kate's a gifted writer but just found out she is expecting her third child (and doesn't know when she will have time to write after the baby comes), Theresa is working on a vampire novel, Michaela is Romanian and writes exquisite poetry, and Fran wants to get a children's book published.

Get involved in the world again!

***ADDED*** Like I said, stand up and get out there! I had a six-month break while I healed up from bleeding ulcers and breast cancer, but I'm back to leading the group again. Had to take a break from the cat shelter volunteer job too, but I met lots of cool (young and female! ) transporters while I was in the hospital three times!

She can't let you go until you're willing to let yourself take that the first step and walk away.

My friend had been married nearly
Twenty years and she found out her husband had been unfaithful from the beginning.

She received an anonymous phone call and just disregarded it as a hoax. Then she caught him.
I have never seen anyone hurt that badly over a divorce.

I tried to bring comfort and be there for her and I begin to worry about her more and more.

She took him back and a year later he was at it again. This time there were no tears only anger.
The second divorce stuck.

She told me what hurt the most was his lying and making her feel less a woman. She remarried and he's living with a girl who to say the least is a little loose.

This woman has made you feel as if you cannot do better than her.
You can. When you leave you not only have to physically walk away, but emotionally too.

She is the one who will be the loser and she deserves it. I think the worst thing a spouse can do to another spouse is lie and cheat.

It makes you feel inadequate. It leaves you feeling ashamed, even though you did nothing to warrant being treated that way.

You have a chance at a brand new start. Will you choose to take that chance? I hope so. Blessings

Have to spread the rep Kit

However very well written post, and some thought provoking stuff in there.

OP this woman,(I say that part loosely) is the type of female that gives every other female a bad name, she's got no respect for anyone not even herself.

Do you want someone like that as the mother of your children?

How could you and she take marriage vows that she `s broken before you've even considered taking them.

For all you know you could be working alongside one of her old lovers.

As I said in a earlier post you don't know it was only once a year, it could have easily been once a month or once a week, she could be the town bike or moped,(you get around faster on a moped and cover more ground).

I accept its not my place to judge, and Im not judging her so much as I am hoping to help you see that there is another way, its going to hurt and its going to be hard, but you can get through this.

You just have to stop allowing yourself to be treated in such a disrespectful way.

You deserve more you're worth more...

Thanks to all. I guess this is it then... It's time for me to walk the desert and come out a new man (hopefully). I feel like Indiana Jones on the movie where he had to walk over an abyss... It's a leap of faith! I will trust everything that you have told me about it getting better if I leave her and start thinking of myself. And I'll try to follow the NC rules that "I wish" posted... I'll post again someday when I feel better, thanks for caring to write. It did make a difference! (even though all I want to do these days is cry)

Thanks to all. I guess this is it then... It's time for me to walk the desert and come out a new man (hopefully). I feel like Indiana Jones on the movie where he had to walk over an abyss... It's a leap of faith!! I will trust everything that you have told me about it getting better if I leave her and start thinking of myself. And I'll try to follow the NC rules that "I wish" posted... I'll post again someday when I feel better, thanks for caring to write. It did make a difference!! (even though all I want to do these days is cry)

You will start to feel better.

Thanks to all. I guess this is it then... It's time for me to walk the desert and come out a new man (hopefully). I feel like Indiana Jones on the movie where he had to walk over an abyss... It's a leap of faith!! I will trust everything that you have told me about it getting better if I leave her and start thinking of myself. And I'll try to follow the NC rules that "I wish" posted... I'll post again someday when I feel better, thanks for caring to write. It did make a difference!! (even though all I want to do these days is cry)

Please come back here anytime, we will always be here to offer a listening ear or shoulder for you, or for you to just get it off your chest, we also appreciate it if posters keep us updated because we do care about you, and all other posters. So you're never alone.. Good Luck and I believe you're making the right choice and your life will improve from hereon..

P.S. crying is good it helps you get it out of your system.

I just wanted to add something after I read more replies... It seems to me that all of you who replied understand me a lot better than I understand myself. I allowed my ex to take control of my happiness, and she just took advantage of that and walked over me. But then that leaves me with the question, why did I put up with it? Someone said that no man would... What is different in me? Am I different in some bad way that makes me prone to being hurt? Where most people would have left the relationship, I decided to stay, and I still don't understand why...

I just wanted to add something after I read more replies... It seems to me that all of you who replied understand me a lot better than I understand myself. I allowed my ex to take control of my happiness, and she just took advantage of that and walked over me. But then that leaves me with the question, why did I put up with it? Someone said that no man would... What is different in me? Am I different in some bad way that makes me prone to being hurt? Where most people would have left the relationship, I decided to stay, and I still don't understand why...

Yes you're different but not in a bad way, you believed in your g/f even though she repeatedly betrayed your trust and love you still believed in her, you obviously saw something in her that was endearing to you, women do the same too, as in take back cheating husbands b/fs etc, I feel you must have the patience of a saint, and you are quite unique as far as men go, but that's to your credit, you gave someone you love chance after chance and yet you have still been betrayed time after time.

You're obviously a patient and forgiving person, two excellent qualities, so please don't think badly of yourself you have done more than enough to give this woman chances to improve her morals, its lucky for her she wasn't with a wife beater, so please don't reproach yourself for being a forgiving and patient man, that's not bad, that's good.

Many women would give their arms for their men to possess such qualities. Its not you. It is your ex g/f...

You're also genuine and when you are in a relationship you're committed. Nothing wrong with those qualities either...

Expounding on KCTiger, you reap what you sow.. . People will continue to abuse you so as long as you let them. Even good people will turn into jerks if you allow them to.

I did a search on this page for the word "mistake" and sure enough, I found it. First thing's first: she made a choice, and every choice has a reason behind it, and reason is a reflection of character, hence, it's not surprising that it happened again and again. I do realize that it's very hard to admit this when the person in question is close to you.


Where most people would have left the relationship, I decided to stay, and I still don't understand why...

For one, this isn't accurate across the board as I've just as many people in long-term relationships who have dealt with cheating than those who have not.


Secondly, the only way to answer the "why" part is to go NC and stay that way.

Dude don't worry.
This is a good lesson if you choose to do some soul searching.

There's no doubt that being betrayed over & over sucks. But being in denial is another. I could write a book about that.

Not everyone is meant to be together. No matter what is instilled in us.

What's important is that you start living your life w/o this emotional burden.

Don't let her suck you back in with revelations and talk. Go NC & heal.

Could it be? Should I really give her another chance again? Have I not given here enough chances already?

No, you shouldn't believe that people can change that easy, especially when they always do the same things over and over again. And you give her a lot more than she deserves already.

I may consider giving a guy a chance, but just only one chance, if I have some doubt that he might not intentionally hurt me or treat me badly. But if that bad behaviors happen again, I will never give another chance as it's clear enough that he's who is he and you just can't change anyone.

Please don't beat yourself too hard. We all made mistakes and learned from it. You have to learn to love yourself enough not to let anyone treat you badly, lie, or hurt you (especially when they do it on a regular basis).

You worth to be with someone who is a good, kind, and honest person, and definitely not her!

I echo the others, don't beat yourself up over this. We all do things, shall we say questionable, when we're in love.

Accept what has happened. Realize it is no longer acceptable, you will not allow people to treat you this way. Hold your head up and move on.

It really felt bad to read all that you have been going through. After writing and deleting and then doing the same for a couple of times, I just want to say, can we be friends. It seems we are sailing in the same boat. At least if we can be friends, it might get the lost smiles on our faces back. Will wait for your reply. In case you want you can write to me on EMAIL REMOVED


I will not comment on anything about her. As I don't know her. And ther'll be two voices one that of your mind and the other that of your heart. But one thing I can say with certainty is that there's a third sound, which is the soounds of your soul. That will tell you exactly what you should do. I understand that you are in a very confusing state and all this may sound quite bookish to you. But trust me try this it'll really help. But you have to be tough and honest while interacting with the voice of your soul...


Moreover if you still decide to go back, you will always be living in your insecurities all the time. And anyway the destiny of such a relationship is staying together all the life. So it will be more painful for you to live with your insecurities while you are with her. Think about it!! And if you feel that you will not be able to love again, then please understand, we have been created by nature. And we should continue to behave like nature also. Even if we don't get love, where you want it from, you can still spread love around. Its just like even if someone plucks a flower from a tree, the tree doesn't stop to blossom. And so does every creation of nature does. So why exclude human being?? Just spread love everywhere around. Leave the rest on God. He always does what is best for His child. Have faith. Cheers. Also deliberately try coming out of it, rather clinging to it. Just imagine had this happened with you after marriage, lets say after having kids, it would have been so much more painful. Just realise Gods kindness and His love. So here's what I have- don't behave like a christian, behave Christ like... Don't behave like a Buddhist, behave Buddha like. Think of all the blessing that God/nature has blessed you with. Just try coming out of this. God bless! :)

This was my original post:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/feel-like-world-has-ended-me-491112.html

I am sticking with NC and it has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I come back to this site for hope because I am not feeling any better... I miss her so much in my life; I miss the good moments we had SO BAD!

Now I have a question; everyone talks about NC and I get that, but what about THINKING and CRYING:

- some people have told me to avoid thinking of her. That as soon as I start to think of her, I should find a distraction

- some other people tell me I need to think of her is she comes to mind, and cry as much as I need to because otherwise it is holding it in and it will delay my recovery

So, does NC also mean NT (no thinking), or do I need to embrace my pain and cry when thoughts of her invade me?

Thanks so much

Embrace the pain, it is part of life. By embracing it, you are purging it, and her out of your system. Life is not about avoidance of pain, it is about dealing with it. Sounds pessimistic, but I believe in it.

- some people have told me to avoid thinking of her. That as soon as I start to think of her, I should find a distraction

- some other people tell me I need to think of her is she comes to mind, and cry as much as I need to because otherwise it is holding it in and it will delay my recovery
I vote #2.

Cry as much as you need to, I repeat, need to. Crying is cathartic, is designed to make you feel good after it's passed and that's when you can begin to sort out your emotions and make sense of the relationship and how it all went down. So, let it happen, but don't abuse it. If you are constantly throwing a pity party, your heartache will become a crutch you will depend on--David from 40 Year Old Virgin--preventing you from moving on and you will break NC repeatedly forcing your ex to get a restraining order. The good news here, is pity-parties are usually a result of breaking NC, not the other way around.

Distractions are good as they do force you to stay on the NC track. But, overdo it and you'll find yourself denying your own feelings and you might actually believe it--"naw man I'm okay, I'm waaaay over her"--so you'd learn nothing making your time spent together meaningless; lost time. And then, in your next relationship, you're liable to make the same mistake again, and so begins the cycle. You aren't this kind of guy from the mere fact you posted here. That is a good thing.

It's all in moderation my friend. Find balance. Stay NC.

You can't stop your thoughts. But you can stop the drama by going NC.

All we can do is learn. Embrace whatever thoughts we have, but hopefully learn to control the ones that don't really serve us. Not to dwell on stupid stuff that's just in our head.

Negative ones that send us spiraling w/no benefit.

There's facts in everything. Don't create negative fantasies.

Focus on having some fun now w/o her. You may surprised how happy you can be. Just remember the good ones now, how great you felt & recreate those good feelings as much as possible. While recognizing the ones that suck.

We all have good & bad feelings, but I'd rather have good ones. Its all how we decide & act on any given moment.

Harsh Alert
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Yes this lady 11 years your junior whom you've been playing with for 8 years (since she was 21) cheated on you 8 times, but you let her do it 8 times and you're still asking if you should take her back.
For whatever reason, she is who she is, what is your problem? Why have you hung on to this woman for 8 years?
Don't get mad at her anymore, she has done what you have allowed her to do time and time again.
So this time she says she has found God, maybe she has, but I don't think you should take her back because you have enabled her tacky behavior and you will never move beyond what it is that allows yourself to be treated this way.
You were not a child when you started dating her, she was a young adult. So what were you thinking all these years?
Now you're worrying about getting old. Well so is she. It is time for both of you to leave each other alone, deal with the issues in your lives and move on.

This girl never wanted you.

You just filled in the gaps with blinders on. While she explored.

But, all that crap is in the past. Thank your lucky stars now. The universe just gave you a smack. (and homegirl50)

Time to wake up.

Now its your job to do some reasoning with yourself. Doesn't sound like you have in a while.

Its OK, like me, I hung to something I wish I didn't & got hurt. For my own stupid reasons.

Want me to list 'em?.

Don't be a doormat. Get away and stay away from her. If God has truly changed her then that's good.

I don't believe you will ever be able to trust her, even if she has changed. You will never be able to forget the past.

Relationships are hard enough without all the baggage. I truly hope she has found God. Time will tell and I hope you move on and find happiness with someone you can trust.

Leave her alone and get some healing and therapy for yourself.
I'm not understanding why you have put up with this for 8 years, 8 times and you still have questions.
We know what her problem is, what's yours?
Work on that and in time you will be fine.

It will take time for you to start trusting again but you will .

Time has a way of healing and so does spending time with friends.

Trust me, you will get over her and you'll have yourself confidence back again.

Yup. Good idea. Any help will do you good.

Was just thinking how could you crawl in bed w/her at night knowing this.

You can't get back those 8 years, but you can learn from this & why.

To understand you first, then others.

Hey Motor,

Look at it this way. You are one one of many this girl deceived, and continues too. She doesn't know what she wants & neither do you.

There's spiders and flies. Now you can fly away, unstuck.

Looking out for the next web.

Hey Motor,

Look at it this way. You are one one of many this girl deceived, and continues too. She doesnt know what she wants & neither do you.

Theres spiders and flies. Now you can fly away, unstuck.

Looking out for the next web.

Well said Van, well said.. gotta spread the rep.:)

Thanks to all... your support continues to be extremely important to me, and hearing those words, no matter how direct they may be, is important because I know that I have lost all objectivity when it comes to her and I need an outside perspective... NC is so hard

NC is easy, unless you feel like getting hurt more.

Just do it. Suck it up, stand up for yourself & NEVER talk to this girl again. In person, Facebook or whatever.

Chuck everything that has to do wth her. She's toxic and its spread all over you. Now you got to wipe yourself clean. And use this time to get to know yourself.

May sound like airy hype, but, Its time to start.

This process of understanding isn't just for now, but forever.

This isn't just about this chick, its everything in your life. Past. Present & future.

Do some homework.

The point of the exercise of NC, is to find the way you cope with your feelings the best. If crying doesn't work, distract yourself, if NT (not thinking ) works, keep doing it.

This is all about you NOW, and HOW you approach YOURSELF, and meet your needs.

We can suggest, but guess who does the real work. The idea is to feel better about yourself, and be able to move on to the next challenge in life.

True words.

Plus this girl is no good for you.

She doesn't deserve your time, forgiveness or anything else.

Like Tal says, this is YOUR time now.

To work on bettering yourself & becoming more aware.

Spreading the rep means agreeing or .disagreeing with someone. When you've disagreed or agreed with a person you have to wait a while before you give them an agree or disagree