I was recently in a relationship with my boyfriend for 7 months. We were both very much in love.. I had never EVER gotten so much attention from anyone like this before especially a boyfriend. He told me he loved me all the time, loved to cook for me bring me out whenever he could spend a lot of time together, talked a lot about 'our' future.. holidays, marriage etc.

We never fought.. only a little tiff here and there and it would be sorted in a few minutes. He is in college (obviously has summer off) but has to re do a very important project to get his points to move up to his fourth year and has always been very dedicated, since the start of June he's also working two jobs to make ends meet for college expenses etc..

Literally out of the blue 5 days ago he called up to my house and broke up with me but gave me no reasons. What he said first was 'I love you, you're my best friend, your beautiful and have a great personality' I kept asking why and he just looked at me and kept saying 'Sorry' and ' You think this is easy for me? ' I was so upset I was roaring crying and also confused and very angry.. I told him to look me in the eye and tell me that he is not IN LOVE with me that I needed to hear that to move on and he couldn't, I asked him many times to do this and he said 'im not going to say that to you.'

I kept telling him to leave my house but he wouldn't and kept saying he didn't want to leave me like this. Out of anger and also humiliation I said that 'Once you leave there's no coming back' and he said he wanted me in his life as a friend and I said that's impossible as ill always want to be with him.

I was sooooooo upset, I ran into my room and he followed in and also followed me anywhere I went in the house. I threw all his DVDs on the bed and told him to take them and his xbox back. He told me to keep it I said 'NO TAKE IT!

He found out about 2 months back that to become what he wants to become in college he has to do an extra yr of college.. he was very annoyed about which I completely understood, but one of the first things he said to me was 'How its going to be even longer now before me and him can do all these things that we planned!' I was kind of shocked but happy at the fact that I was also included in the future and I am a very perceptive person.

I was always on the look out to see if he's happy with 'us' and I did not see any of this coming and the people closest to both of us are totally shocked about this! His parents are extremely close to my aunt and uncle and cousins and I've heard back that he told his dad ' I didn't want to do it, I'm just unsure about the future'.

He is 21 almost 22 and I am 22 almost 23. He did text me 2 days after the break up and just said in words what he said to me the day he broke up with me. That's he's been thinking that were not going to work and he's better off doing it now rather then in a year. I haven't replied because I have nothing to say to him now.. I wanted to give his DVDs to him didn't I? Time to see what life's like without me, and to think clearly. He used to ring me everyday for hours a lot of the time and text haven't always even though I seen him about 3 or 4 times a week.. I just don't understand this at all. Any advice or anything Id appreciate it.. especially from you guys! Thanks!!

It may be the stress of school and working two jobs , then finding out it will continue for a year longer than planned has overwhelmed him.
Not contacting him is a good idea in that it will give him space he may need right now and may help you gain a better perspective by giving you some space also.

He may just need time to think things over and get a plan on how to deal with the future.

Be patient and see what unfolds in the next few weeks.

I wish you well. Please keep us updated.

He sounds tired, scared, stressed, and frustrated. Instead of talking to you about his concerns, he acted out. That doesn't bode well for the future of any relationship with him. In a healthy relationship, you should be able to discuss the positive and negative aspects of the future. He only appears to want to dream about the good ones and reality isn't allowing that.

Not contacting him is probably a good way to go right now. Let yourself calm down. Go about your life and do what you need to heal from this shake up (very important whether thing work out with him or not). Do not try to be his friend at least not right now while you are hurt and angry.

You are still in shock, but he has probably been overwhelmed by his own issues for a while and needs to sort things out.

Leave him alone to do so, and sort out YOUR life without him in it. That's the only way YOU will heal, and get clarity, and understanding, to accept you are not the priority of his life right now.

I don't blame you for being sad and angry. He gave you no warning, no way to try to fix the problems - which you didn't know existed. He does sound like he has a lot on his plate, and he's young and still needs to learn how to cope with stress.

You need to accept this for now and go on with your life. Try to have some fun this summer with friends and family. Take care of yourself and your needs - eat right, get plenty of sleep, cry if you have to but then find a way to laugh about something later.

Id love to know your stories from girls or guys! Thanks!

(edit) Should be in different thread.

Id love to know your stories from girls or guys! Thanks!

Sure it happens, but I wouldn't get your hopes up or sit around and wait for it to happen. Even if he comes back, give it thought before you jump back into a relationship. You don't want to go through another heartbreak if he decides again that he is unsure about the future. He needs time to mature and work on his future before he's ready for a major commitment.

Id love to know your stories from girls or guys! Thanks!

I've done it. I broke up with an ex because I just didn't see a future with her... logistically. She was moving away for work with no plans to move back, and my future plans were taking me somewhere entirely different... with no plans to see her for the next 4 -5 years. We broke it off, then realized that we missed one another too much, and we tried the long distance thing for another year, which worked out fine, but eventually, we realized that seeing one another 12 times a year wasn't going to work out too well, so we broke it off. No fight, just realized it wasn't going to work.

I wonder, however, if your boyfriend's reasoning is strictly due to his stressors, or if there are any other reasons behind it.

After 7 months of an amazing relationship he breaks up with you completely out of the blue and the only reason he gives is 'its not working' even though I asked him to tell me why that I need to know to be able to move on and get closure.. that I needed him to tell me out straight that ''He is not in love with me anymore' but he said he can't say that.. and while he was saying and not saying all this his eyes were full of tears... he just had to blink for them to fall onto his cheeks. What in your opinion doesthis mean.. oh and also the first thing he said when I seen him was 'I love you, you're my best friend' and then just stopped mid sentence. Help!

It was hard for him to tell you he wants to break up but his feelings changed and he might not know why, but accepting that he no longer wants romance, is your closure. No amount of pressing for answers will make you feel better though, sorry.

Men have emotions, just like women. It was hard for him to break up knowing he was going to hurt someone he cares about. It's also another sign of his stress.

Still, he felt he had to break up and you need to find a way to accept that and move on. It hurts, but it will get better when you start dealing with it and doing positive things for yourself.