OK it's a long story and there are a lot of details to take into consideration.
OK I started dating this guy in high school about 3 years ago and we were great. There was attention, there was chemistry, there was everything. Dam that boy was fine. But then we graduated. The only way for us to be together was for me to go to him. Reason being was his mama was a control freak and bi-poler ran in her family even though she wouldn't admit that she had a problem, and she was raised on the belief of what can I get out of people. Everything he and I both did had to be OKed by her.

So we never went out, we never went riding, we never had the room for our relationship to grow like it should have. Then he started using me. I told him this is how I felt, stop your hurting my feelings. When he didn't I broke up with him. We got back together 1 month later when he said he wouldn't do it anymore. It was true that he did stop. Mostly. When ever he would ask for something he would say he baby I would like to have this but I don't want you to feel obligated and he meant it.

I bought him things at first, then not so much anymore. Well I should also tell you that he didn't have a job so he couldn't do for himself. And he would look but our small town was practically dead. Anyway. Because his mama controlled every aspect about us and what we did and how we thought(because the woman never shut up, so eventually what she said would sink in sometime.)(oh and my boyfriend had add too so he never wanted to help out around the house unless his mama just got on his nerves then he did it to make her happy and to get her to shut up) everything about the woman would make you quiver just about. I got sick every time I went over there. Because I didn't have any since I started to follow her advice. I don't know I think she brainwashed me or something because looking back I never would have done anything like that on my own(this was when I started taking my frustration out on him because she did and I started talking down to him).

Anyway. What I'm trying to get out here if I can stop rambling is that we weren't ever allowed to grow because of that woman. Anyway, about 4 months ago he and I moved into a place of our own. We wanted to get as far away from her as we could but it was at a different state away from everyone that I new because his family was there.so I had hardly no contact with family and friends which is my fault because I could have called. But I didn't and I was cooped up there with nothing but work, the Internet and an insensitive man. When we moved in together he didn't have a job till about 3 days ago because of the bad economy, so again we never went out anywhere nor did anything and everything that I saved up for the last 3 years is now gone.

About 2 months ago his grandmother died and he was upset for a few days but then he went to showing no emotion at all so for some stupid reason I thought that he was over it. Anyway during all this I was the one doing the working, paying the bills, coming home and cleaning the house. Can you see my frustration. I tried to tell him, he didn't listen, I tried to get my point across though screaming, nothing, I smashed a very tasty sub into the floor that was his, and that hurt his feelings witch I felt so bad about but it got his attention. But still didn't fix anything.

I continued to do the things that didn't work which was taking it out on him. Till one day he said to me "i just don't feel anything for you anymore." that was the biggest eye opener in a long long long time. I said what are your plains for the futcher. "I'm going to join the army and move to Texas."

Oh my god I never seen that coming. I mean yeah I had felt us growing apart for a while but you know. Then I find out that two months ago he started talking to this girl from back home that now lives in Texas on Facebook. They were texting non stop. Long story short I thought they were dating, or seeing each other. I talked to her and she even said that they where friends. Do you think I was going to believe her? Um no but I still played nice. Till I couldn't take it anymore and then I said OK hun you know I don't hate you but you and him talking is causing problems for us. Can you please back off for a while.

She didn't of course because she was convinced that it wasn't her fault. And my boyfriend said that if I try to interfere with them talking any more that would destroy any chance I had to get back with him because she was 1 of only 3 friends he had. (were still broke up by this time) any way I back off. Then I find out that she's dating the brother of a friend of mine. OK so were on good terms now. But the problem still stands that he wants to join the army. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. I wanted to once before but I got scared. But with his ADD there going to tare him a new one,

I want him to realize what he's getting himself into before he gets there. And then if he still wants to go then by all means spread your wings and fly. My request for advice is can this be saved. I want to believe that if his mom wasn't a factor, and if finances weren't a factor, and if I just got on the Internet sooner and learned about this stuff that is would have been a very thriving relationship. I realize where I went wrong and I want to fix it but he keeps acting indifferent to me.

OP here is your question broken up into smaller boxes of text, to make it readable for others.by PP.

OK I copied and pasted your post and broke it down myself but really that is way too much in one paragraph.

From what I have gathered, you say your b/fs mum is controlling, fine, I would say you are also controlling, I also think you should move on and let this go,

If he wants to join the army what's wrong with that its his life, let him live it his way, he doesn't have to answer to you, " can you see where you control""

If he's unemployed then I think it a very sensible thing for him to try to join up.

Can your relationship be saved, I doubt it, as stated you're too controlling and don't appear to want to compromise, you seem to want it all your way. With no room for negotiations or compromise, two vitals in any workable relationship.

I don't think this relationship has ever thrived, for the above reasons, and I feel you should leave him alone let him sort his own life out and you get some counselling to work on your own issues, you can't make a relationship work with out both wanting that, you can't determine what another person should do with their life. Just because you don't agree with it.

You cannot expect respect if you don't give it, and you really should never ever tell a boy his mothers a control freak, especially being so controlling yourself.

Also please break any further posts down into readable paragraphs, did you take a breath whilst writing your OP. Im sorry if I offend Im just saying it as it is.

Also threatening the opposition or whatever you did wasn't a smart move, do you see the controlling side of you yet??

Im sorry others here may disagree with my advice or opinions in this post. But I think what I have written here is on the ball.

Seriously move on and let him live his own life you concentrate on improving yours...

A word of advice for you, never ever bad mouth any b/f mother to him or even within earshot she's his mom, and like you possibly love your mom so does he, its not your place to call his mom names or give her labels, no wonder he got fed up with you, seems all you did was bad mouth his mom and nag him...

No matter what you think of a b/f,s mother you keep that to yourself at all times, and you don't disrespect her,would you like it if people called your mom a control freak and said nasty things about her? You'll lose b/fs faster than old panties doing as you do it shows you to have bad manners and little to no respect...
Boys like their moms..

I think going the Army and getting away from both of you is a wise decision.
He is indifferent to you because he is tired of you interfering in his life. He talks to a girl and you take it on yourself to talk to her? What nerve!
Wish him well and leave him alone.

You have made many young people mistakes, and have indeed become like his mother (controlling, abusive, and abrassive). Your way isn't working, so let him go try his luck with the Army to get experiences, and disciplined. That's a good idea, for you too, and then maybe you both will be healthy enough, and mature enough to handle an adult relationship.

You have much to learn about yourself, and how to treat others, and that should be your focus, while he take the time to do what it takes to find himself. Whatever his problems, you are not the ones to fix things ,so maybe being apart will help you both grow, and get better.

Neither of you knows how to help the other so let him go.