Hi ,
Ill just get to my problem and I thank you already if you help me with my relationship.

Little backstory: In 2007 I was involved with a robbery at work which left me with serious depression and PTSD.2008 getting even more depressed because I haven't found a good dr that would treat me and the doctors I am seeing are popping me full of pills. 2009 rolls around and I'm still on workers comp, finally found a really therapist able to get off some of the pills.

Ok Here's where it all starts, I met this guy off Xbox live in July 2009. He is AMAZING (he is 21 lives in FL Im 25 in Cali), makes me laugh and everything is starting to look up. He even motivated me to lose weight due to all the depression and medications (I have lost 150 lbs at the current time) talking every night,We start to fall REALLY HARD for each other, my PTSD and depression are almost gone thanks to him. He also said that he was very depressed (due to him losing his job and family problems) as well and I helped him get over that.

January 2010 We decide to meet and it was the most AMAZING time of my life.. Everything went off good some of best 4 days of my life , Hell when I was leaving on the last day we did that romantic stuff you see in the movies where the girl always keeps running back to the guy just so they can kiss one last time. On another note something is telling me that this guy is a virgin, not sure though.Also the first 2 times we did have sex he didn't get off until the last night I was there. He blamed it on me being chubby and not knowing how to position my body. Which totally made me feel like crap cause I have lost so much weight during that time I cried to my friend for hours because I thought he was going to leave me for another skinnier girl.

Little backstory on him: at the very beginning he told me he had slept with tons of girls. All these crazy stories about sex and whatnot. He told me on the first trip down to FL that I'm the only girl he was able to "get off with".

Feb. 2010 I decided to go back down to FL to see him on Valentines day and to celebrate that my workers comp case is over and I'm getting a decent amount of money. I stayed a week , again like last time had so much fun.

March 2010 One week after I got back to Cali I knew I couldn't live without him so I sold my car, sold most of my personal belongings on eBay and put all my stuff in storage and moved to FL. Since he still lived at home with his mom we decided to get a hotel room until we could find a place. Took a week but we found a place. I also needed to restart my life due to being on workers comp for so long.

* Im also paying for everything at this point cause he doesn't have a job*

April-June 2010 Over the months I'm starting to see issues like he's never been in a relationship before. Things you kind of think a guy would know after being in a few relationships (from what he told me), Not taking showers everyday (which led me to get a very nasty yeast infection BIG ARGUEMENT), him constantly being on the computer all the time and I fell neglected at this point cause I have nothing down here yet no job,no friends, no car, no gym, just him and my cat.Trying to get him to look for a job is close to impossible he's always getting sidetracted and Im constantly looking for jobs on a daily basis where he only looks when I remind him to look. I would be going out by myself but every time I go out guys tend to flirt with me (not to sound like a b-word but its true) and it makes me feel really uncomfortable cause I'm used to no guys hitting on me due to me being fat, Hes starting to not want sex as much when we used to do it like everyday (and its really good too by the way) I went through his internet history on his computer and its constantly filled with porn sites and so I noticed that days when these porn sites would show up we wouldn't be having sex So I brought it up to him and he kind of flipped out and that caused a really big argument.My sleep is starting to be affected by all the arguing also.He also told me that sometimes when I ask for sex when he says no (which happends pretty much all the time) and then when he sees the sad look on my face he ends up feeling bad he let me down so he has gulit sex with me which caused another huge argument but he told me I took it the wrong way and he explained it to me which still hurt really bad and every time we have the sex discussion I always bring up the whole guilt sex thing and I usually end up saying something on the lines of "im not happy here im going back to California".

July 2010 The sex discussion came up again and I don't really remember how it happened but he told me that one of the times he was with a girl "getting off was never a problem" RED FLAG so I questioned him about it and he basically opened up to me that he was a virgin and the only relationship he was in was 6 months long and me crying over the fact that he said "i dont know how to position your body due to you being chubby" turns out to be "well im a virgin and i just dont know what im doing".

This is where I need your help Im sitting here writing this with tears in my eyes. I have no idea what to do. The arguments are more frequent, like I said we don't have jobs - living off my workers comp settlement, the sex is declining fast, my sleep is almost non existent. I feel alone.I told him one day I just want a day where we don't go on the computer or xbox which caused another argument cause he doesn't understand that I feel so alone when he's in his own little world (can you help me explain it to him cause I guess I'm doing it all wrong?)

PLEASE HELP ME!

I apologize if the end of this post doesn't make all the sense in the world, its kind of hard to type when you're crying.

Emotional turmoil often follows decisions made on feelings, and not facts. You have to know impulsive, needy actions by you both is at the heart of this.

Why would an out of work person get with an unemployed one and not expect a lot of stress and pressure, especially given you both have issues of your own.

I highly suggest you work more on yourselves to stabilize your lives and for you especially to let him do whatever he wants while you see a doctor and get a job.

It never works when to people who need so much get distracted by their own intense feelings, that they forget the reality of their situation. The problems you had before have followed you and you have added his problems on top of them, so forget his and deal with your own.

Someone to have sex with, is not a substitute for real actions to help yourself. As your finding out, but its not to late to do right by yourself, and deal with your own issues, so go to the health and human services department in your area, and start to get it. Not only for a doctor but assistance while you get on your feet, get a job, and get away from this guy, so he can deal with his own issues. He sure ain't helping you at all.

Sorry for your problems, but with the right help, you can overcome them.

Agree..

It seems you've upped and move from Calfornia to Florida on a whim, or a hope, nether of which have any substance, you had no real idea about this boy, who has no job and sits at his P.C. everyday no doubt doing the rounds of chat or dating sites.

If I were you I would pack up my stuff and move back to California, and forget this boy, its obvious you're not compatible, and the relationship is going no where, you've both got too many issues to even think of resolving them. Plus I really don't think anything you did whether on your own or with this person is going to make any kind of impact.

This is a completely one sided relationship. You're doing the giving and him the taking.
Seriously I feel you are wasting your time and efforts on someone who wanted romance but only in the online way. Leave him go back home, whilst you've still got the air fare to do so.

I have to side with positiveparent. I'd pack my staff and kiss this loser good-bye forever. Seems to me you're on a right track with your life - overcoming depression and PTSD, losing weight, getting off work comp and looking for a job. Go back home to CA and forget all about him. He is no prize - not showering (major eew), no sex, no job, playing his video games - what are you getting out of this so called relationship really? Cut him lose and move on.

Go back home. He is not the one for you. How can you stand being in this kindd of relationship?

He's not there for you emotionally and you need stability. You will not find it with this man.