vflohan
Jul 15, 2010, 07:26 PM
I am 21 years old I have been married to my husband for 3 years. My husband is 34 years old and has 2 kids for a previous marriage. He has a 12 year old boy and a 10 year old girl, about 2 years ago right before our 1 year anniversary the kids moved from their mother home to our home. The kids were very unhappy living with her and had been for some time, my husband asked their mother if they could live with us half time until thing in her home got better, this was suppose to be temporary we had just started our life togther and wasn't planning on having a family any time soon. The biggest reason the moved in with us was physical abuse from my step kids step family, their step father was pulling there hair to get them to stop throughing fit, and the step brother who has been in and out of juvy since he was 12 was pinning them down and my step son would come over with bruises all over his body, the mother would send the kids to school with no breakfast or lunch she sais it was there responsibility they are just kids in my opinion they had massive amount of cavities from not brushing there teeth EVER and my stepson was so underweight the school threatened to cal CPS on her, at the time my husband didn't know how to fight for custody other than a lawyer and we couldn't afford one so he just keep asking her to allow them to spend more time with us especially they didn't even have bed for them they slept on the floor every night even though the other children in the home had beds and there own room and were of the same sex. We had them half time for a year and one day she called and said my step son was coming to live with us full time we said OK and she dropped him off 2 months later my step daughter did too, a couple months go by and she got a call from child support that she would no longer be receiving child support because even though we had the kids we were still paying her over $1000 in child support because nothing was through the court during the phone call she told my husband she wanted the kids back even though nothing had changed to better her circumstances my husband explained to her that the kids were happy and they didn't want to live with her she said it didn't matter she still have custody on paper and they had to do what she wanted. I was devastated we soon found out we could go for emergency custody we did and we won. The kids started seeing her everyother weekend it got to a point where we were still having safety problems over there and we went back to court and the took night away which I think is the best thing. My thing is is that even thought there mother treats the kids like crap they still act like she does nothing wrong she will bake cookies for her new husband and not let them have any when she only sees them 40 hours a month, she tell them that if they keep calling and texting us while there over there that they should just leave, her stepson offered my stepson alchool and cigarette and made him tag a mail mox and they tell him he's a liar, they make fun of my step daughter to no relief about her clothes or personality, tells them that if there sick she doesn't want them to come over because they will get everyone sick, she let her brother tie her son to a tree and spray him with a hose, not only those things but constantly make them feel guilty don't you love me? Don't you want to see me more? Why are you trying to hurt? Me all I ever due is cry. She won't even talk to my husband on the phone no co-parenting at all she hangs up on him evertime he tries to talk to her its so frustrating the kids say to me I wish you were my mom and god knows I wish that but the fact remains she's always going to be there I just want to have a happy life I love the kids so much they have taught me so much and have made me grow into a better person I just need to know how to deal with the feeling of why do they still put up with her its like they like the abuse. Also we decided not to have kids because we felt with everything they have been through we didn't need to add drama and a blended family we want to be there for them and know that they don't have to share us, I was never reallly wanting kids anyway but do you think that is a smart decision I mean I am only 21 and have so much on my plate as it is and I think well if they were here we would probably have kids should I base my decision off them, what if they just leave and decide to move in with there mom?