Hi since been in my new relationship for almost a year, I feel I have completely changed who I am, I sometimes feel like a shell of my former self, for instance, I used to smoke pot but gave up within a month and don't ever regret that and over the last 2 months I have giving up cigs to which is definitely a good thing but I was always happy with the way my life was I worked hard all week and had my ways to chill out and relax but my boyfriend didn't like it so I gave up that bad stuff and have been really grateful for it.

Since decembe we have only spent 2 nights apart and both of them were on the back of an arguement/night break up, we worked through a lot in the beginning because my ex was a creep and stalked me, and he was good friends with his ex, who told him all the time she loved him and wanted him back, this really freaked me out and on occasion she went over to his house and the stayed up all night drinking, he said I had nothing to worry about but what she was saying to him I didn't get and he didn't want too loose her as a friend because they were together for almost 4yrs, and about 2 months after this he told me that she was pregnant and it might be hers, and the day before we got decided to start seeing each other officially he sleept with her, been and delt with all this child not his and we goe back on track and had been great, as we still both lived at home and never really had any privacy we decided to get place of our own, which was amazing because I know he's the one.

~A few weeks before we moved in I have began to get moody, tired and easliy emotional I took no notice just nerves about what we were doing, so when we got here it felt amazing but the moods hadn't gone away, I done most of everything, all the cooking, clothes washing, sweeping and now I do everything, but 4 weeks after we moved in I suffered a miscarraige, it really tore me apart(that was three weeks ago) and am stll going through it, I get snappy, jump down he neck at the simplist of things, fly off the handle and really treat him kind of bad, on top of all this I'm having problems with my younger brothers and dad, they stole tings off me and dad done nothing about it, I just don't know who I am or where to turn or what I'm doing, I am 40 minutes away from everything I know, don't drive, don't talk to my best friend anymore because my boyfriend doesn't like her, I never have time to myself and am afriad if I ask for sme that he will tink that he's done something wrong which is definfately not the case. Since I don't tlk to my best friend anymore and haven't for almost 7months I thought I'd drop her a mail and say sorry for letting his get between us but she hasn't got back and I wouldn't blame her. I just feel so alone at times and wonder if I have made the right decision and everyone I know lives between 40 and 160km's from me and I'm not sure who I am anymore any advice anyone plzzzzzzzzzzzz

I think you know deep inside you have made a big mistake, not only is he controlling you, he is also showing you little or no respect, drop him and go back home, you jumped in to the water much too soon and now the tides come in and you're drowning.

Its all been too much too soon.

Leave him, and go re-start your life, whilst you still have one worth living, you'll get friends back. Not with him around though he's is controlling you..

You also need to see a Doctor to be sure everything is OK after the miscarriage.

Your hormones may be out of whack, thus causing the mood swings and the fatigue.

A healthy relationship is where you can have a good balance between what you need for yourself and in a relationship. You should have friends and time for yourself and he should love that about you. Be yourself, ask for what you want/need, and if you can not do that, it is not healthy. You need support right now, and female support will be good for you. He will suck the life out of you if you are afraid to ask for what you need. I think you know the answer. Maybe it is you not asking for what you want, maybe it is him not allowing. But you need to be strong enough to ask for your needs to be met. You deserve it girl!

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage.I think you know deep inside that you aren't happy in this relationship.Agreed that there have been good times,thanks to him you have quit smoking,which is a VERY positive outcome of the relationship.

Have a good,frank conversation with the guy.Tell him how you feel in a direct,straightforward and mature manner.Let him know that you need to have your own life as well,go out,socialise,work,study,whatever.Make him see its important for both of you to have your own space and time in order to make your relationship work.

If he understands your point of view and agrees to work on it,that's great.If not,then you might have to see what's good for yourself and take a decision.

But first,please go see a doctor and get a proper check-up done.A miscarriage shouldn't be ignored.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens-health/can-pregnancy-tests-wrong-478653.html

How can the relationship be healthy when you are not healthy? What grabs me is this whole sex without protection deal, with a guy who may have fathered another child with someone else. He slept with her the day before you became "official"?? What's that all about? Was this a reward for something. Now after a miscarriage, you are isolated? So many red flags, the one that stands out is its okay to be friends with an ex, but you cannot keep a friendship with your best friend. Is that crazy and illogical or what.

You may have quit smoking, but it's the other areas of your life that are not to healthy. Like being isolated, and dependent, on a guy who is perfectly happy having you barefoot, and pregnant, and at home being his maid. If you moved in with him to get out of the house, and act like a couple, well you certainly did that, so now comes the real work of building yourself, and being healthy yourself, and that starts with seeing a doctor and getting on birth control.

I think you moved to fast and ignored to many red flags, and have to back track to a better path for yourself, that doesn't include having a family with a guy you really don't know, and don't work well with through honest communications.

Sounded like a great idea at first with all the intense sexual feelings, and looked so good on paper to make the choices you did, but in reality, it isn't exactly a good healthy choice for you, but at least you stopped smoking.

By the way the mood swings were probably withdrawal symptoms of the quiting of cigarettes, and pot.

Don't let anyone be your main reason for existing. This guy is so taking the life and happiness out of you.
Do you think you deserve better? I certainly do.

This is not a healthy relationship and I think you know that. Now it's time to get out of it.
Get yourself checked by a doctor make sure things are healing properly after your miscarriage and get out of this relationship.

NO - your relationship is NOT healthy!

A good boyfriend wouldn't cheat on you, and would realize that you need more than one person (like friends and family) in your life to be happy.

He should realize that you are your own person and you need time and space to grow as an individual.

If he actually loved you, he would love you as an individual, not simply as a little puppet he can control. A controlling man is often abusive. Men like this, use the pretext of "love," as their excuse for controlling you.

In my opinion, he has an even darker side that will eventually emerge, to include monopolizing your time and removing your ability to make decisions, effectively cutting you off from everything. He will also try to create a sense of becoming "indebted" to him, and will use it to further manipulate you into doing everything HE wants, without any regard for you.

This relationship is quite simply toxic. Get out why you can - for once PUT YOURSELF FIRST, as you deserve better than him.