I'm looking for advice on what I should do about being in love from... afar?

Here is the story. I've known for the longest time that I'm gay. A number of years ago I started a new job and met a guy, an instant crush occurred. We have been friends for about eight years now and he knows about my being gay. During the summer of 2007 him and I were hanging out at my house. We were having a meaningful conversation when he told me that he was confused about his own sexuality. He didn't know what he wanted but something in his current ways had driven him to think about being gay. As the night went on, it was decided that he was going to spend the night. Of course I allowed him to do so. Around bed time, I was working on his sleeping arrangements for the night. He asked me if he could sleep with me in my bed. At this point, my heart was in my throat and I was more than ecstatic. Of course I said yes. That is where this really took off, at least for me.

We snuggled that night with no kissing or sexual things happening. This continued for the rest of the summer. It was to the point that I was only at my house on the days that I worked. Non work days and nights were spent with him at his house, we did everything together and slept together every night. Again, no kissing or sex as he was unsure about that still. I tried to talk to him a few times about moving our relationship further but he was apprehensive. I was in love with him, 100% all the way head over heels for this guy. 

At the end of that summer, he was scheduled to leave with the army for his two weeks and was going to Alaska for that. The night before he left, the house party I was hosting moved to his house so he could be part of it. The night ended with three of us there, him, myself, and a girl we both barely knew. We all were pretty drunk by this time (5am). He called me outside on the porch swing to talk to me. This is where he broke my heart by saying that he didn't think he could see a future with another man by his side. Intoxicated we were, so he tucked me in on the couch as I couldn't drive. He then went up to his room and had sex (loudly) with this girl. Every noise heard from upstairs brought a new set of tears to my eyes. I then had a co worker drive me to my house as I could handle being there.

A few months went by with us not talking at all. We then gradually built our friendship back up, more recently as this girl is now history. 

Herein lies the problem, things have started heading in that same direction again and I'm still head over heels for him. We have spent so much time together lately doing everything, but always together. An issue at times is hat he still talks with his other guys friends about good looking women, etc... We have spent a number of nights together recently also, mostly because we have both been intoxicated and crashing at his place. I have not made a single move, no cuddling or even a single touch just to know that he is still there.

The most recent night, 3 nights ago, was much the same. But this time he kept moving closer to me. It was almost obvious that he wanted to cuddle up. At a minimum, he had his legs over mine the entire night and still moving in. Again, I did not budge because I didn't want to push things that could upset him.

My question, what do I do. Like I said, I have fallen for him all over again but do not want to get hurt so badly again. Do I just let things continue and keep telling myself that there is nothing and hope I can move on while still being so close to him? Do I call him out on it and tell him how I feel and see if things have changed for him, this would involve saying essentially that I cannot be JUST friends again right?

If you have any words of wisdom, they would sure be great right about now...

I also would like to say, the way this boy looks into my eyes makes me melt every single time. He looks into my eyes a bit longer than normal and has the cutest look on his face, almost like he's lost and looking to me, trusting that I am there for him, for which I always am... Now I'm getting all teared up thinking about the most beautiful man in the world.

I suggest you talk to this person and have a honest and sober conversation on how you feel. It's wrong for him to string you along and it's unfair to have false hope. You should ask him how he feels about your friendship and if things can go beyond that. If not, I say it's best to forget and move on.

You seriously need to have a detailed chat with this guy. Let him know what you think and then ask for his honest feelings. If he still is not intereted in you then I think you shouldn't be friends with him. I know it'l be hard but for your own sake, you have to let him go. Or you'l again end up being hurt.

I highly suggest you see beyond the drunken times and dreamy eyes, and find out if he feels about you what you feel about him, and if he want this to go the same way as you do. Just ask, and then act accordingly.

Its called honest communications.

Hi OP reading your post, I get the feeling that this other person is unsure if he wants to try gay sex or not. I know many males want to now you see it all over bi-curious, and it appears its also socially acceptable. I assume same sex relationships are similar in the emotions involved in them, you've already been deeply hurt by this other person, and I feel you could be heading for the same again.

I worry about how much and how often you and he drink alcohol together, and then sleep together, maybe I have a cynical view I just get a niggling saying that this is maybe all part of something not being planned but perhaps orchestrated, as in you and he have a tad too much alcohol one night you fall into bed and end up having sex, great maybe, maybe not.

The other person then says to you he didn't realise what happened he was so drunk he can't remember, although he does, that then gives him a cop out if the sexual encounter was only something he wants to try,
But by appearing to get drunk means he can indirectly get out of having to face facts and avoid responsibility for his actions by playing the drunk line.Which means he gets to try bi sex, but has himself a safety net by blaming it on the drink.

I also feel that mostly this is really what he wants, he wants to try same sex but only try it. Hes Bi Curious.

IN real terms this could mean that you again get hurt, and he has an escape hatch by claiming he knew nothing of what happened because he was so drunk..

I could have course be wrong, but to me it makes sense. Especially basing this on how its been between you and he.

If I were in your shoes, I would stop having these drinking sessions, stop letting him sleep with you, especially knowing you're emotionally involved, go to your own home at nights, don't give him an outlet for his curiosity, or rather one he has a cop out from.

If he wants bi curious, put it to him. If he says no then there's your answer, if he says maybe , ask him with me.

Don't fall for the possible scenario in my text here, that would really end up making you feel so very bad, you could possibly end up thinking he feels you took advantage. Be very careful.

Hope this helps, its only a possible outcome but one I feel you should be aware of.