View Full Version : Help me please, I want him back..
Caramellana
Jul 14, 2010, 01:31 AM
I went on my vacation now for 2 weeks, and I just broke up with my boyfriend yesturday. We've been together for almost 3 years but I've had enough, so I told him that I couldn't be arsed anymore and stuff like that. But now.. I really regret like, A lot.
Because I know.. Deep inside my heart, I really do love him, maybe I just needed some space? I don't even know myself to be honest. Anyway, I told him that if he wanted me back, It was just to ask to have me back. But then he said that I'ts not going to work out, since I had lost some feelings for him and stuff, he didn't think our realationship would work even if we got back together. And now, I don't know what to do or say because..
I feel so lonely, lack of friends, he was my best friend and boyfriend at the same time.
Now I got no one, and I really really miss him.. I've done everything in my life with him.
He was my frist with everything.. Can someone please help me out, what to do ?
martinizing2
Jul 14, 2010, 02:21 AM
If you broke up with him when you say deep down in your heart you love him , it must have been some fairly serious issues that caused you to break up.
What are the issues were that caused you to break up?
Have you talked to him about these problems?
It is always hard to break up with someone. Even if it is to extract yourself from abuse and mistreatment. The fact you love someone does not mean you can live with them.
Try staying away and not having any contact while you put you life and thoughts back together. That can give you a much better perspective on things and you can begin to heal.
Go out with friends and maybe a casual date or two . Shop around some and try to have some fun and keep your mind off him while you gain some perspective on your situation.
positiveparent
Jul 14, 2010, 02:47 AM
If you only broke up with your b/f yesterday then its not even been enough time for the dust to settle.
Obviously when you did break up with him, you felt something inside you that wanted to break with him, even if you don't feel it today it was there yesterday.
You need to try to calm yourself down take a few deep breaths, and quietly try to think of what it was that made you do as you did, once you've found it then that's what you and your ex b/f need to resolve between you both, all assuming you and he get to talk it over at some time, if you don't get to talk with him then you need to resolve whatever it was in your own mind, once you've faced it and dealt with it, you will find any future relationships won't have that same issue in them because of you having dealt with it.
I suggest you try not to contact the ex, for at least a week, or longer, it won't be easy,
And Im sure you'll be tempted to contact him much sooner, but the longer you can leave it, the stronger you'll be and the clearer your head will be, right now you've got a thousand things running around in your head, this is why I suggest at least a week.
When or if you contact him or he you, then don't forget you've got to resolve whatever it was that made you want to break it off with him, before you even try to talk about getting back with him, if you don't do this, then give it a few weeks or months max you and he will be back at this very same place you're at today again.
Fix whatever is wrong, then you have a better chance of making it last.
For now just take this time to think it all through.
talaniman
Jul 14, 2010, 07:17 AM
I think you were expecting him to forget what you were mad about, and dumping him, and want you back, but he didn't follow your script, and it has thrown you off.
I think you both take a cooling off period, and talk at a later date after the emotional dust has settled.
The lesson to learn is you don't break up out of frustration, and anger, and then expect your partner to just wave it off, and go back to normal. I am sure he has the notion he will get dumped when you get mad again, so for now, leave each other alone for a while and work on getting yourself under control. If this is indeed the end of this relationship, you will have to rebuild your life without him. If there is a chance after this cooling off period, a lot of talking has to be done.
Devorameira
Jul 14, 2010, 07:34 AM
You broke up with him, so what'd you expect?
What exactly was the reason for the breakup?
Give it some time - maybe he'll start missing you too... maybe not.
Are you sure you really are in love with him or is it possible that he's just become a habit in your life?
Caramellana
Jul 14, 2010, 09:47 AM
Thanks for the answers guys.
I know for sure I do love him but, as Devorameria say, maybe he is a habbit in my life? I guess I have have to let it go.
I did break up with him, because I'd rather have a guy wich are more "mature". I was getting sick of my ex bf's childish personality. And we never did anything fun together, wich was pretty sad though. But, when I like think about it.. His kisses, his face, the way he looked at me, made me feel so special and when I think about... I've lost it all.. I'ts just so hard you know.