I think it's OK to give people a second chance as long as you protect yourself from the consequences of their actions. But sometimes you may still get hurt. I had a tough no bs policy and I cut people from life quite easliy. But now I'm wondering if I'm too harsh because I'm far from perfect.

No I think your just right. Giving second chances is OK once in a while but if the person that actually needs a second chance doesn't get one you may waste it on the wronge person... if they need a second chance from doing something bad such as- they left you abandoned at a party while they went and got drunk- that no. no second chance but if -you break up with your boyfriend just because he couldn't go out one night- definitely a second chance. Its kind of about judging well. Good luck!
Ps. Sorry for spelling erros I suck at spelling!

I think in many situations people do deserve a 2nd chance, and I also say once is a mistake twice is blatant. I would give most people a 2nd chance, however in one area that being cheating, I really don't know what I would do or if I could give anyone a 2nd chance if that were to happen.

I think it would be hard for anyone to do this, although it can be done and has been.

I would say to you go with the inner voice, that usually sends us in right direction. Plus its really only you who can choose if you are willing to do this.

Read this site: Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self (http://joy2meu.com/Personal_Boundaries.htm) and see how you can set healthy boundaries.

Not only does this enable you to see how allowing a 'second' or more chances can be allowed,OK in the grand scheme of things,and down right good for your learning coping skills/personal growth.

I had a friend who would not communicate well, as some will do from time to time.He crossed a boundary I had set with him, he knew this,he did it anyway(perhaps a test,perhaps because he didn't care,perhaps for some reason I still can't fathom)

Anyway,I let him know that,once again,this was unacceptable to me,if he choses to take the no communication route,(meaning,blow me off because he decided to not be responsible and call to cancel a meeting or be there when expected,etc.)I would not be around for this to occur.I have better things to do with my life than have expectations and meetings blown off for their whims and lack of responsibility.

In time,he reached out to find me apprehensive but willing,as long as he followed my boundary.

It isn't manipulation.

It isn't control,not in the sense most would think of it.

It is a clear line of ,"I'm not going to be treated like this because...,it makes me feel...,and this is the result you can expect if it continues..."

Much better description on the site quoted above.

Allowing someone a second or third or fourth, or a lifetime of chances.. isn't being a patsy,isn't being week,isn't being played,as long as we set a line of what we will accept as to their behaviors, let them know the outcome if things continue,and FOLLOW THROUGH with our boundary and set line,, things will progress without us being guilty and questioning ourselves(much like what this post is about)

I hope this helps:)

KBC

I made a really cool friend. But then she started caneling meetings at the last moment. And she only wants to go to her hang out places. So I stop calling her. She texted me and lets do lunch this week. I knew she was not going to call and she didn't. So a month later she texts me, "Hey, I just got back from London and I have to tell you all about it. Let's do lunch" I responded cool but I'm going on vaction soon... No response back from her. I just want to be open to deal with people with being jerked around. I stopped calling her in May. Why make plans with someone just to canel or not follow through.

Hi Truthsayer,

True friends never let you down, they contact you if there's a problem.

Don't hang about waiting for something that might happen.

Empty words are meaningless,friends who really enjoy your company will make that call, will reply when you call and will turn up if they promise too.

Don't say.. YES.. when you really mean.. NO.