I was in school when I fell in love with a girl who was also crazily in love with me. After school, I made sure I studied in the same class/college as she did (which to many was a kiddish act). We had both happy and sad moments in our 3 years stay together. Our families knew about us and had no issues with it and many thought we were so lucky in this regard. The day I finished my college and came back to my howmtown, I started drinking and socializing a lot as these things were new attractions in my life. I came across a lot of hot women and should confess that I got carried away with these things. In short, I betrayed my 4 year relationship which eventually came to an end when she got to know about my ed up acts. I now realize that those girls never meant a thing to me but I also knew that I don't deserve my ex girlfriend anymore after these acts.
Today, she is married and happily settled in Singapore with her husband who loves her a lot. We are in touch through chat every now and then but our conversations aren't the same anymore and is very formal. I am very happy for her and for the fact that she has got a life better than what I could've offered.

The problem is that I still am crazy about her and want things to go back to the way they were when we were in love. Feels like I've lost my life/chances of being truly loved for ever. So many of us don't even find love during our entire lifetime and I was stupid to have kicked it out of my life when I had it all. I can't seem to feel anything for any other girl no matter how hard I try. It has been a couple of years that I'm trying to get over this feeling, but it doesn't stop haunting me. Should I tell her how I feel about her when we chat or would this screw even the privilege of staying in touch with her. Would she have any feelings for me at all now? Does she think about me the way I think of her everyday?

Please help me and reply only if you could relate to me.. Thanks a lot for all your help!

Hi Ive read your post, and immediately I heard alarm bells, you are playing with fire, this girl is now happily married, please for your own sake and that of this woman, stop all contact with her, she's moved on and so should you.

You had your chance with her and on your own admission you blew it, now you need to go NC and let all of these thoughts of rekindling anything with her go, she's married, let it go, you've no business to even consider anything with this person, she's another mans wife, you lost her years ago, and she's moved on, you must do the same.

Its not right to even think of these things. She's Married. Let it go.

She is married. You need to accept that.

Maybe for your own sanity, you should apologize to her for what you did. A heart felt, real apology. The words will come to you the longer you think about it. Don't cheap out and say, "I'm sorry for cheating on you" because that's not going to satisfy YOU.

Think of this as almost a confession. You wronged someone you loved for very much. You hurt that person in the worse way possible... Your mind is haunting you with this tragidy. You won't open yourself up because you are beating yourself up over it.

Yes, what you did is wrong. Learn from it. Don't do it again.

Move on. Stop talking to your ex girlfriend. You say your chats are more professional then anything.. That can't be any fun. Stop holding onto something that is not there. She is gone. Accept it. The faster you accept that, the faster you will be able to find your own happiness.

Dwelling on the mistakes of your past is going to end your life early. You need to forgive yourself and move on. You need to learn from your mistakes and not repeat yourself. You need to make peace with yourself and what you did. Since your ex is talking to you, she obviously has forgiven you to some extent. But maybe telling her how you feel as far as you cheating on her will allow you to break free from her. It seems like you are trapped with her because of what you did. I'm sure you still love her and care for her.. So why not apologize for your actions? I'm sure it will mean a great bit to her... And if she blows you off, then at least you tried. At least you made the effort to make it right.. And that's all that matters.

After you make peace, cut off all contact. She is married. You have no business entering her life and possibly upseting her marriage. Its unfair to her. Let her be happy. Her happiness should, in-turn, make you happy as well.

Extreme harshness warning


Leave her alone and get over yourself. She didn't ruin things, you did. So how dare you think that you have a right to destroy her happiness because you are selfish and cannot accept the consequences of your own actions, and even today you want her to give up what she has to make you happy again.

This isn't love, nor caring so leave her alone. PERIOD. Grow up, and get over your own guilt. You have already hurt, and betrayed her once. That's enough for a lifetime in the name of love.

No, leave her alone. It took her years to get over you cheating on her now you want to come and rock the boat. Every cheating jerk needs to read this post! Because this is your future. See ladies when you leave the cheaters you can find a husband that moves you to singapore and loves you a lot.

@lucky098 - Sorry I didn't know that I could only add up to a few characters up there.. So here is what I really wanted to say - Hey there, thanks a ton for your response! You know what, at times we know what is the right thing but would still want to hear it from a couple of people around who sound trust worthy to stik with it. I've apologized for my mistakes the very moment I was guilty and I don't apologize anymore only because I don't want to remind her of what she could've possibily forgotten.
There was this one year after this incident and before she got married when we were in talking terms and everything kind of seemed close to normal. I didn't ask her to come back thinking she deserved better after what I did to her and stayed hush. May be she wanted me to make a move and since I didn't do it for a reason she still isn't aware of, she might have assumed that I didn't feel anything for her.

Now that she is married, I can't talk about any of this. So this feeling of not being vocal about my feelings back then, is what bothers me more. Until I know how she felt during those day, I feel I missed a second chance trying to be nice in life.. lolzz... anyway, thanks for reading and replying to my question.. You've been truly helpful and I totally mean it.. wish you the very best in life! :)

@ all others - Thanks for taking the time to answer my post. According to many among you, this world isn't a place for people who've made mistakes. Though I don't agree to this completely, I have very little to support my argument.. I feel that everyone on earth makes mistakes and should be forgiven if they realized it. Situations decides whether the person gets a second chance or not and the result is how fortunate/unfortunate you should consider yourself.. :)

Your right, we all make mistakes, and if we learn, and try to do better, you may well earn a second chance. But not with her, she has moved beyond you, and your behavior and is happy. Why bother her with ghosts of the past, when its entirely your own guilt that is over ruling your common sense, to leave her alone to be happy with her life, without you reminding her of the past.

Forgive YOURSELF, and do better with your own life. Its you who have not moved beyond the past, so why involve her now?