What's the point in love? When you always get shot down
I'm tired of hearing I love you, when I'm hundreds of miles away from the person, they say they want to be with me, yet then they go and act differently than the words they speak. When they say they want me to be the one they have true love with, which they say "it could be" yet in the same breath say that I'm obsessive. They are the only person I talk to from down home, I've felt lonely up here, I don't know anyone, I'm not the person to go out and meet people, I'm uncomfortable in a crowd, I'm slow to trust people, because of the things that have happened in the past. And they say I'm trying to guilt trip them because I'm lonely, because I talk to them about everything in life. I've loved this guy for years.. Yet it seems like how I feel doesn't matter... They say they want to move up here, find work. Ask me to help.. yet when I do, they don't bother looking at the job ad's I send them.. Is there any point in trying any more... because I feel like giving up on everything in life.

It's conditioning. And it's a man's world. Don't give up on loving yourself but do give up the jerk that is jerking you around. I don't like crowds but I like to volunteer- it's a good way to meet people. The guy isn't interested or he is lazy because all his life women like his mother, sisters, aunts have been doing everything for him now he expects you to be his mother and lover. So Stop it! Write down everything you want in a man and then become the person you want. If you don't have a man then have life! The good thing about dating jerks is that we learn about what we need to fix. You can't change him but you can change yourself. I know how your feel though. I'm so mad at myself for dating jerk recently but it has motivated me to make big changes. Get luck

Him and I dated for eight years ( I didn't put that in) he says he loves me, but that he couldn't be with me, because I ask too many questions.. I've been having such a hard time in life on top of this that I find life so hard to handle right now. I'm jobless, trying to make my life better, stuck living with family... Stuck in a job that's only five hours a week, and barely making enough to feed and care for my own dog, whom I put before myself, because animals mean that much to me

Men will try to play mind games. So what you can ask whatever the hell you want. My (ex) boyfiend told me that I ask too many questions because I asked him where he was going in my car. That's bs men try to use to get over on you. I told him that I have every right to ask 100 questions if it's concerning me and so do you. Focus on yourself. I call my guy out and he tells ends up telling the truth. You keep asking your questions because Mr. Right will think your questions are cute or there will be no need for the questions because he has nothing to hide. I'm the same boat minus the dog. I don't have job, I just got my degree so I'm going to start a business. You could dog sit or walk dogs. Pain motivates me. I always drop a few pounds after break ups lol. You have to choose life because you will never be happy. We all have our bad days. My ex boyfriend was in your shoes. It's not your situation its all about how you handle what life throws at you.

You have the power to overcome your own issues and build a life that you enjoy without him.

Instead of making excuses why you can't, work to overcome your obstacles that you put before yourself.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/never-thought-would-come-down-424981.html

Binx,is this the guy?

If it is you have to decide if this is working for you,there's only so much suffering anyone can do,I don't believe this guy has made you suffer enough yet,why? Because your still listening to him,and still being hurt by him.

Only you can change your life,he does not enhance it,he floods your emotions and mind with toxic promises.

He's already broken your heart,don't let him break your spirit too.

Check out the local colleges,can you link in with them to get back to education? Can you carry any credits from your last college?

Get rid of the shackles (the man) and start living for you.

Instead of wasting energy and time on him,put that time and energy into you.

Binx I feel the same way! Life is full of surpises though.. You just got sit back and let some of them unfold.

This guy says he loves you yet he won't make any effort beyond words. I know its hard and I know change sucks, but maybe you should stop talking to him all together. Is he really worth your time and heart when he has no interest in actually being with you?

I don't think you should give up. I think you should just go about your own business and do what you want to do. You have an awesome dog and you have some big plan ahead of you with him. I'm sure those plans are just going to happen over night.. I'm sure there is a lot you need to do with him to get where you want to be with him. Start there. Start putting him in shows.. Even if its stupid little fun shows that have no meaning behind them. They're still fun. You're doing what you want to do, not to mention practice does make perfect!

You and I could have fun with a 6 pack ;) I feel the same way as you.. only my boyfriend lives down the street and is still a jerk.. But I guess that's men for you!

Cheer up! Life is too short to dwell on the small things. I know things get you down and it seems everyone stands in your way.. But act like your bully.. Just push your way through :)

P.S.. . I can't find you anywhere on Facebook!

Seems all problems in anyone's lives focus on or around relationships, good ones, bad ones, successful ones, failed ones, no matter what its usually somewhere in the mix, and it causes problems,

So what to do get rid of the relationship, Eliminate the Problem.

Sounds simple and it can be simple, instead of wondering about what's making you or anyone for that matter unhappy, accept it's the relationship, and then eliminate it. Give yourself a gift of happiness.

Makes sense to me, why stay in something that only serves to make you unhappy.

You're only prolonging the inevitable...

Smile and the world smiles with you
Cry and you're on your own...

No one needs a partner to live in this life, yes they can be fun, they can and do serve a purpose, but when it gets to the stage where you're no longer having fun then the relationship has served its purpose and its time to move on, being on your own isn't bad isn't some kind of oddity, its how you were born and its also how we all die. ALONE.

Speaks to me if not you.

Make friends with yourself..

Its this, among many other things.. I'm depressed.. I don't even feel like there's a point to anything no more.. and its not just men that's my issue... and yes it's the same guy.. we've been broke up since September

Binx,if you feel depressed go to the doctor,get it sorted!

Here's more of the story, if you can get into that part of the forum.. I think you can

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/active-members/when-life-gets-you-down-487816.html

Hi Binx--or let me call you by your very lovely name Michelle... I am so impressed by the way you love your dog and nature in general.Honestly,wish the world was full of such nature and animal lovers like you.Is that your dog on your profile?He/she's so beautiful.

And you say you are depressed because you don't have much to do in life?Michelle,count your blessings.I did one for you--for being privileged enough to have so much love in your heart for nature.Thats a HUGE quality,do you even realise that?

Anyway,not to digress.You know what?The answer to your problems is in one of your own lines in your post.I am re-quoting it here :I'm jobless, trying to make my life better, stuck living with family... Stuck in a job thats only five hours a week, and barely making enough to feed and care for my own dog, whom i put before myself, because animals mean that much to me

You say,in your own words, you are "trying to make life better",you work "only five hrs a week",you put your dog before yourself.Re-read the possibilities that are there behind these words.By "trying to make life better",I am sure you are going out there,investigating options,meeting people,talking to them,working on your good qualities and strengthening your heart and mind?Working five hrs a week could mean you have that much more time to engae yourself in hobbies(related to nature,pets,a pet-club maybe?),go to the gym,develop your mind by reading a lot,watching movies anything.So much time and freedom to maybe start something of your own related to pets/nature?

This way you are on your way to blooming to your full potential Michelle,being the VERY BEST you can be and the way God wanted you to be.This way you are blossoming into a wonderful,sensitive,compassionate and kind yet smart,strong,independent young woman whose heart is brimming with love.How can someone NOT love you when you are this way?

This guy you talk about,he may be important to you.But not more important than your lovely own self.He may be right when he says your life's all about "obsessing" with him.See,Michelle,its not up to him to work your life out for you.Its up to you to first BE YOURSELF,LOVE YOURSELF,then love anybody else.

You know why we have companions/partners/lovers in our lives?To be happy with them.To bring out the best in them and us.To celebrate love between us.Who says in order to love I should forget who I am and stop living my own life?

In your post,you are so negative about life.Why?Because you don't feel loved enough by a man?What about feeling loved enough by yourself?

If I were you,I would take this guy on his words.Doesnt he say you are too obsessive and needy and forever bugging him?I would accept that,step back A LOT.I would get so involved in building my own life,it wouldn't matter anymore what was going on with him at every step of HIS life.And I would do that for MYSELF,not for HIM.

Then,I would have talked with him about the relationship and made a decision.But not before I grew wise and confident enough by being this ALL-NEW WONDERFUL ME who knows what she wants and isn't scared of asking for it.

Hope you get the drift:)

I feel depressed because I can't seem to get ahead in life... he's now with a 17 year old girl.. as of.. well right now.. the age difference between them is well.. illegal...
I don't love myself any more... and I don't feel that anything I do is going to make life better. I do go to a gym... well sort of... I don't know anyone here, I just moved to this Provence, left everything I've ever known behind

Also,just another thought as I was re-reading your original post,how can you accuse someone of not being interested in your process of finding a job,in today's world?Its enough if the bloke himself has a job,I would say.Cut out the self-pity.Go out to where the jobs are,do the interviews and get a job.Dont expect anybody to find one for you.Whose job is it anyway?

Getting ahead in life is something everybody wants.Some make it,some end up on the side-lines.Read the inspiring success stories of some people who made it by back-breaking hard work and determination.Nothing is given,its all earned.

Michelle you have a degree you can start again,and you can be happy,ths man had caused enough sorrow for you,cut him out of your ife,you don't need to hear from him.

He's cruel.

Save yourself michelle,you're the only one you can do it,you're the only one who can make the change,all you need is a little support.

I can look up whatever I can from my end and post links,just say the word and ill Google till my keyboard goes on fire.

Your not alone,ill help,other posters who care about you will help.

I honestly don't feel like I'm meant to be happy... You guys have given me more support than I have from anyone else. I've been applying to every job that I can do that I can find here in calgary and I've gotten nothing... one woman led me on for three days saying she wanted an interview, kept moving the date then said no. before even meeting me...

I've so had enough of the way my life has been going... I try so hard to get it back together and its like it fails each time


And he does have a job now.. but origionally he kept saying he wanted to move out here, and try to work things out.. so I was looking for jobs for myself and for him

Michelle,even though its really hard,you have to keep trying,you will get a yes answer,you just have to keep applying.

You do deserve to be happy,you do deserve to be loved and cherished,you are worth it.

Michelle I've been in that bad head space,and it took me blood sweat and lots of tears to get out and make a life for myself,you can too.

You are strong enough.

Seeing a doctor about your feelings of depression has to be top of the list right now,should he prescribe any meds,it will help you cope better and see more clearly.

Then you can make a plan.

There must be a doctor somewhere.

I've always been against drugs... I was on depression meds once before, and sleeping pills and they made me feel horrible... and I don't know where anything in this city is at all

Me too,I hated the thoughts of taking any drugs,but it can be short term,just to get you through this stage,just to clear your head enough to see straight.

I can look up clinics or doctors,anything you want.

There are different types of meds available,maybe a different brand would suit you better,a doctor may decide you don't need anything,but your in a bad place michelle.

You need to protect your health,mind body and soul.

No one can take that away from you,and no one can protect them like you can.

I know my mind isn't working right at all, because of not sleeping. So could you please look up clinics or doctors for me.. I live in the south west part of calgary. And don't have transportation :(

Health Link Find a Doctor (http://www.calgaryhealthregion.ca/doctor/)

Is this any good?

Just a second I'm on the case.

Make a cup of tea for yourself and stay online.

Its got doctor listings that are accepting paitents... it might be of more assistance than I think right now.. but I need a clear head to look at it... this no sleep thing is making me see doubles yet when I try to sleep I cant

Calgary Transit Website (http://www.calgarytransit.com/)

Is this any good?

Edmonton Public Transit: Public Transit in Edmonton, Alberta (http://www.discoveredmonton.com/Edmonton/Transportation/PublicTransit/)

This one has a number.

AlbertaFirst.com - St. Paul (http://www.albertafirst.com/profiles/statspack/20465.html)

This one runs a greyhound service.

Any of these any good.

I'm checking doctors closer to you.

I'm in calgary so the first one and possibly the last one would be helpful to me.. thanks for helping redhed

its got doctor listings that are accepting paitents... it might be of more assistance than i think right now.. but i need a clear head to look at it... this no sleep thing is making me see doubles yet when i try to sleep i cant

Have you ever tried relaxation ?

Do you have sound on your computer?

Can you make up a bed near the computer?

I can give you link to listen too help you sleep,or at least get some mind rest.

No I've never tried relaxation. I have sound on my laptop.. and my laptop is always near my bed because I usually watch movies before I go to sleep

no i've never tried relaxation. i have sound on my laptop.. and my laptop is always near my bed because i usually watch movies before i go to sleep


I'm checking out some now,bear with me,it won't take long.

Your wonderful. Thank you redhed

video Relaxation - Most Soothing Voice on YouTube - relax, music, meditation - videos kewego (http://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoafYr8w.html)

Sleep Meditation Video. A Video To Help You Sleep Well (http://www.stress-relief-choices.com/sleep-meditation.html)

Free Audio Meditations (http://www.wealthvibes.com/audio-meditations.php)

Here's a few to get you started,just type in free relaxation music to YouTube.

Thank you redhed. I'm going to go try and get some sleep... thanks again so much

There's a book you might be interested in,its called 'awaken the giant within' by anthony robbins.

You don't have to read it cover to cover,but can flick to the section that you want.

Its just a thought.

I hope you get some sleep.

I got a little bit of sleep.. but it didn't last long. Hoping to get more tonight, I tried today to sleep but it was impossible. I'll have to find the library and borrow that book

Right as always Red--reading good books,taking care of your mind,heart and body and surging ahead with your head held high is the way to go forward.And about the job part Michelle,just keep your focus on finding a job,do the things necessary for that,network with people,enrol yourself with recruitment agencies,upload your resume on the jobsites and just keep applying.The more you work on it,the better prospects are of you hearing a "yes".

Parallelly,since you are new to your locality(and there's great scope for you to just be a totally new YOU),why not get together like-minded people like yourself,form a club or something together and just interact?I can assure you,the more you meet and connect with people,the more the chances of new horizons opening up.

You just need to go out and see for yourself.Otherwise whatever we say here will just remain words.

I agree with all people up there...
But,giving up things in life?
Hey,cheers up... many wonderful things happen in life... so why don't you join in the crowd and experienced the joy yourself? we can't live alone,but that's doesn't mean we are alone without boyfriend/girlfriend rights? just mix with people and ignore people that jerking around... dont give up your live because of the past and people doesn't care about you...
HEY! this world is big and there is billion and billion of people... and find the diamond between the billions.. life is long,so you always have your time but don't waste your time..