I was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend.we split up 5 months ago.I was fed up with his selfish controlling bevahour.he was always thinking himself.he was a taker I was a giver.I was so fallen in love with him.I try my best to make him happy.but he was going to see his son on weekends.on that weekends usually only one day he was getting drunk.but he wasn't normal drinker.he has drank to get drunk.and start to calling me by telephone and always start to crying.next day was normal.but even we go out together somewhere nice which we did in my birthday,I thought it was my special day after dinner out we came home and he was carry on secretly drinking and gets drunk again.

He never buy me any nice things.I used to buy him lots of nice stuff.I was thinking about him all the time.I was cooking every lunch and every night.and every Sunday perfect steak dinner was ready for him.I used to dress up for him waiting for him on sundays he used to say he was tired.and get sleep.
Even last day I was going to short time my own country.he came with me london but I gave him petrol money and gave him some money.in that money he took me a dinner.I thought he was going to give me some nice necklca or nice ring or something he didn't give me anything.

I am still thinking why I gave him a money?

I was always feeling I should have to give him something to make him happy.he make me feeling that way.I was always thinking I have to give him.

Now I break up with him.

Which was right decision.but still remember him,he find a girkfriend nearly 14 younger than him.I was jealous that I was the one supposed to find somebody and happy instead of I was alone now.ans he used me ,and he is tha one find a someone I am still alone.

I can relate. I wasted a little time my boyfriend. Don't worry she doesn't have a prize. I know that feeling. You are mad at yourself for being used. It always helps me to turn the focus back to me. What did you learn? Why did you allow this behavior for so long? You can't control how people treat you but you can control your reaction to it. I'm going through a break up now. It was only for a year but I have reached my limit. You must have limits and deal breakers. Everyone falls in love with that one we have a soft spot for no matter how tough we think we are. Turn this into a learing experience. And live life. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend and going on vacation in the same week. I miss him but hey a girl has to have limits.
Things I'm doing (I hope this helps)
1. Reconnect with family and friends
2. Read (Self Help) or Write about feelings
3. Vent for 20 minutes and then change the subject
4. Exercise
5. Get a new hobby so you will really be forced to focus on something else
6. Get a makeover, I love getting pretty

Thank you very much your answer which is lovely answer.I am try to do everything you suggest
Just wondering that do you think people would change?he was a selfish,money oriented,taker, controlling person,never buy a present ,always thinking about him

I break up with my boyfriend.he was selfish,money oriented,taker not a giver all the time.he was always looking his benefits.what ever stuations suits him ,he would try otherwise he would never do anything for you.

But it takes me understand 1 and a half year his personalities.

He is now has a girlfriend.14 years younger than ghim.she is working in a pub which his favorite place.

I was wondering,what ever I have done nice things for him he never treat me nice ,how I deserve it.

Do you think he didn't treat me nice or he was selfish because he didn't love me enough .do you think he is going to treat her nice and better because if people love their partner ,they would change?

I was wondering,selfish man would change?

He didn't do it with me ,he was repaiting himself whatever I was teling him relationships have to be sharing give and take.

He was pretending he didn't understand,

Please help me,that thinking eating me out.

I want to hearing that, they are not going to happy because he is the one selfish not nice person.

Still stupidly thinking that if I act differently ,everything would br defferent,but in the other hand I amm tottaly knowimg that I have done everything everything to make him happy.I wouldn't have done anything better.

But still ,I am surprised in that personalty he find somebody.
Maybe I am a little bit jealous that I am 37 years old we were same age.he find somebody that young and they are happy.I was giving that I am stilll a lone.

He was a controlling person a lot maybe it would nr easier to control young person.

Please answer me

My boyfriend was the same way only he was charming so I never thought he was selfish until recently. Try not to feel bad for too long when someone hurts you. It's not you it's him. I could just kick myself for wasting a whole year with him but I'm trying focus on the lesson. People can change if they want to, but even if they want to it's hard to change. I haven't talked to my boyfriend in two days which is a huge deal because we spent so much time together. I'm telling him it's over and then changing my phone number. I don't want to fall for the charm. You have the right to protect yourself from people's messed up actions. Write a list of everything "messed up" he has ever done and carry it with you. This reminder will help you not contact him. It's funny I'm going through the same thing. My guy was so sweet to me but I wasn't happy with him. So I started looking at his overall actions realized that I had a problem with his lifestyle and choices. I loved his romance but I felt ashamed of him. Remember you broke up with him so you made the first step. If he doesn't get it together after cutting contact then he is just not ready for what you want.

It seems like a superficial relationship on both your parts.

You wanted all the material things, maybe thinking that would show that he loved you. Trinkets are meaningless if they are given to keep someone happy, or make someone happy. Love has nothing to do with jewellery. Love isn't what you buy or give someone, it is actions and behaviour.

That he sees his son one day a week, and gets drunk even during his time with him, says a lot about his character. If he is a poor partner in a relationship, an even worse father, maybe your expectations were too high right from the beginning.

People don't change just because you expect them to. They aren't different one day to the next, suddenly becoming loving, responsible, dedicated partners. He is who he is, and is out of your life, so what you didn't get really doesn't matter.

What matters is that you realize and accept that there were some serious flaws and problems that you could not fix by trying to change him, or expecting him to change. Learn from your mistakes, and instead of wondering 'why' so much, focus instead on finding a compatible mate, with qualities you want and need.

It wasn't a superficial relationship in my side. I only want that he would or he could make time for me.I never wanted a expensive things from him.he wasnot rich ,I knew it when we first together.I just love him without any expections

But you are right.people never change.. that is why I left him in a first place.I am focusing myself now.