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View Full Version : How to move on after a break up


DoubtMel
Jul 12, 2010, 02:13 PM
I would like to know how I can move on from my breakup with this guy when he is constantly around the people I love. I really am tired it's been more than 2 months now. Things weren't going like I expected so I actually ended this relationship... he wanted to stay friends but I couldn't stand the idea of him mingling with another girl he liked. So I ended everything. It's hard now when everyone I know that he knows are talking about him none stop... and highly gratifying him. What bothers me most is that he gives me the cold shoulder but when I am around my sibling he has the guts to say: hi how r you?

positiveparent
Jul 12, 2010, 02:50 PM
So because you and he have finished he's now not allowed to say hello to your sibling.

You cannot honesty expect someone you once dated to now cease all interactions or communications with everyone you both knew. That's so unreasonable, and quite honestly its childish.

Its like saying Im not your friend anymore, Im not talking to you and you're not allowed to talk to anyone I know so there, kids do that yes, but not so say grown ups.

You might not like my reply that's your choice, however it's the truth, you really cannot expect someone you dated to now have nothing more to do with your mutual friends. Sorry that's completely wrong. JMO

TruthSayer0122
Jul 13, 2010, 12:00 AM
You are saying that he will only speak when you around your sibling. Is this right? If so, it sounds like he could be playing games. If he doesn't speak to you when you are alone then he should act like your buddy when people are around. I understand that you are trying to cut contact to get over him. It is a good thing that you are being honest with yourself about your feelings for him. Your loved ones should understand this and not report his every move to you. So just express to your close friends and family that you just need a few months without hearing his name. You can't stop people from being his friend but you can distance yourself from people who aren't good for your emotional well being.

talaniman
Jul 13, 2010, 09:47 AM
You can be polite, but unavailable in public, and let your friends know that you don't need an update, or opinions about him, and you always have the option of removing yourself from the situation, but for sure you cannot control him, or anyone else, but YOU!!

TruthSayer0122
Jul 13, 2010, 06:34 PM
He is trying to get back at you for leaving him. Kill him with kindness even if you cry your eyes out at night. Be careful what you tell mutal friends because they could be feeding him info about you. People love drama, but you don't have to play this game.

DoubtMel
Feb 16, 2012, 08:04 AM
I know it's been a while since this post. But I want to thank you all with your helpful reply. Looking back now, I can tell you that I had decided to step back and distance myself and ignore everything (not easy). Not feeding anyone with any info about how I was doing. Result, I have stopped hearing from him because apparently my ex decided (by himself) to actually cut his relationships with our mutual friends. Insulted them and my siblings to the point that everyone said he's nuts and doesn't recognize true friends from bad ones. Some of them came to apologies for any hurtful behavior they might have done to me during that hard time of mine. I'm surprised at how things actually unveiled. I had just made a simple decision to remove myself from this harassing situation and focus on myself. And I can tell you now that my decision to leave him was truly a good one. He's not worth it and will never be.

talaniman
Feb 16, 2012, 08:17 AM
I thank you for your update, and congratulations on following through with your decision. I know it wasn't easy at all, but the choice to take care of yourself is an excellent one.

All the luck with your next adventure, and future happiness.