Ok I have been dating this girl for 8 months. We connected well, we spoke of our future together, and we truly enjoyed each other when we were together. We both are in our mid 30's, I am divorced and she has never been married. She has 2 kids, a 17 year old boy and a 6 year girl. Our relationship has been a difficult one to keep together because of outside circumstances. She still lives in a house that her 5 year old's father owns. She pays no ultilies or rent there. He is a landlord of many houses in the area. She says he has only come to see his daughter twice in the last 8 months and once was at school for lunch. He has full custody of there daughter from Illinois courts, he had a friend lawyer and she ran out of money to fight him up there. She got back together with him and moved south here so she could try and get custody back again, which she is waiting for a court date now for. I have meet her son, which has moved out of her house several months ago because he and her ex got into a bad fight when he came to see his daughter but my girl and her daughter weren't there. He hasn't ever like him and doesn't want to live somewhere that he owns. She has no family down here, a neighbor who watches her daughter for her when she works, so our time is limited. But we have always made the best of it. She hasn't wanted me to hang out with her daughter for fear of retaliation from him if her daughter ever told him about mommy's boyfriend. Remember she doesn't have custody of her. So our time together is limited to seeing each other at work sometimes and 3 or 4 nites a week for about an hr or 2. Now the problem; I unfortunately own a house with my ex wife that I can't get refinanced out of her name. So she is pissed because it prevents her from buying stuff. I have never not told my girl about my ex and our issues and why she sends me a nasty text ever once in awhile. It upsets her but she gets over it because she knows I have to deal with it. Anyway the ex had sent me a text right as I walked into a room to get my girl for a break. I looked at the text, I saw it was the ex and my face said it was the ex to my girl too. I tried hiding that it was my ex because I didn't want her upset at that time. And I denyed it was her for about 20 minutes. We argued about it. I was going to tell her, I just didn't want to tell her right there and ruin our break. I screwed up and I know it. She started to distance herself from me, then a week later she asked for space. That was 2 weeks ago. Now when we talk or text its blah conversations on her part; how was your day, how is your dog? She avoids me at work. I don't know what to think anymore. I love this woman with all of my heart. Is she really thinking about us or is she just afraid to end it and upset me. I'm so confused. :(

I think she is expressing her disgust for you lying. Come clean with the truth, and a heartfelt apology, and a make up dinner. If that doesn't work, then you know you screwed it up, and I hope you learned a lesson from it. That's when you stop calling, and leave her alone.

Wow. This woman has so much issues and baggage which you obviously do not mind, but God forbid you talk to your ex wife over legitimate financial issues, then you girlfriend start distancing yourself because how dare you.

Ask yourself why do you think you deserve to be treated like that. Your girlfriend is a mess - two kids from different men, never been married, doesn't have a place to live, doesn't even have a custody of her child (you really have to screw up to lose a custody being a mother - I'm not buying "lawyer friend" version). Why do you need all her issues in your life? Leave her alone, there are plenty of women to date who actually will be able to offer you something. You don't have to make her mess your own.

Good luck.

I did give a heartfelt apology. Im trying to do the make up dinner thing or even make up anything. But she is avoiding seeing me. We texted a little today. I think we have an understanding, but it's a long road ahead. I know I love this woman with all

Thanks

If you have the option of changing back to the old skin, which is at the very top of the page in a yellow band, then you can have a complete input to this thread.





Mr_sad : I did give a heartfelt apology. I'm trying to do the make up dinner thing or even make up anything. But she is avoiding seeing me. We texted a little today. I think we have an understanding, but it's a long road ahead. I know I love this woman with all

Work slow, I think she may come around after a proper suffering. I agree with Shadowburn though as she has a lot of baggage on her own and I would caution you on getting too latched to her and planning a future with anyone after only 8 months. You have too much about her yet to learn to be her unwavering committed slave. And you should pay attention a lot closer, at this point in time.

Loving someone with all your heart doesn't mean you have to be a fool for love.

Very true. Im not going to put my life on hold for this woman. Because that's not fair to me, the other person in this relationship. Im going to live my life and if she decides to join it with me, then good. She knows the good I have to offer her. I don't ha