I bought an inexpensive house in Illinois two years ago with my husband
(who has spent a lot of time and effort fixing it and still a ways to go there), using my mother's estate money entirely. We thus moved here from WA state. Our children are 7 and almost six and quite autistic. We are existing on their combined SSI. My husband and I have many differences and he is very controlling etc. He has given me the OK to go to Arizona for college, for a degree in ABA therapy for autism, which I want for career purposes and for my boy's welfare. With the boat anchor attached of leaving the kids and him in Illinois. Further, he has indicated he prefers to not to have the possibility of our kid's SSI being garnished at some point if I am unable to repay my student loans, which might happen I have been told by my bank if I am guardian of their income when my student loans are in default. Currently I am guardian and pay all the bills, which he prefers so he doesn't have to bother with, but would have course change over if I did move. I should mention we are older, I am 45 and he will be 50 next month. For me it has been all about trying to figure out a way to accomplish anything before I am 90 that I think is appropriate without having all my ideas vetoed etc. He is also very opposed to any autism medication (oldest takes asthma meds) and does not want to participate in time consuming therapies for them, a big big reason I want to move on with my life. Still married with no court filings, but he has indicated the if I apply for financial aid, that might be a good time for him to think about filing. It is now July 2010 and I am hoping to go to Spring of next year for college. I have talked to everybody I know and they run the gamut from take the kids and get a divorce AND study for college, very very difficult to do that with taking care of my kids many needs to just move and things will sort out from there. I am tired and would like nothing better than an easy button, but there are just too many details here and too many unknowns that make me want to research this greatly before acting. I did leave him about almost four years ago for most of a year, that did not work out either on the schooling angle or the kid angle well. And everybody I know personally is a 'love to help but' kind of deal and don't blame them, but just makes it crucial I plan as much as possible. And yes getting a little counseling for this too. All thoughts and comments welcome and sure I said plenty and probably still left out something. O yes, my parents are gone no sibs, and his family is very politely uninterested in meaningful involvement, i.e. my mother in law visited us about three times in a year when we DID live within two miles of her... and there is no family here at all for either of us in Illinois, just a cheap house, only reason we moved. Thank you all for your input.

I don't understand what you are asking.

If you are asking if you can leave "your" home State and go to school in another State and take the children with you, no, you cannot if your husband objects. You would need to go to Court, explain your reason for moving. He would explain his reasons for not wanting you to take the children. The Courts are very reluctant to move children a distance away from either parent unless there are VERY compelling and realistic reasons. I don't know how the Court will rule.

If you don't want to be married any longer, file for divorce. If you do want to be married, don't file for divorce. It's pretty much as simple as that ON THE LEGAL BOARD. If you are asking for relationship advice, then you would have to post a question on that Board.

Again - I'm not sure of what you are considering. Leave the kids with him and move away for College? Move away and take the kids? Stay married? Get divorced?

The only way you can leave with the kids is by filing for divorce and primary custody. Even then, the courts might not grant you the ability to move.

Do either of you work at all? From what you have written here your living off the children's dole ?

That is correct. I have worked in the past, never making more than $12 an hour. My last job, which I quit to move out to Illinois, was minimum wage, full time. That is the reason I was wanting to go back to college, as I want to start a career in

Thank you for your reply. That is what I was thinking also. Except that I thought they might do it for joint if spouse was agreeable. Guess not then. Thanks for clarifying that.

Yes the reasoning my husband would give is that the children are well established, they live in a permanent, paid for home, and that therefore they should not be moved.
One reason I did not want to file in Illinois is that I understand that they ten