I'm 13 and I really like this guy who likes me very much too.. he didn't tell me in person but our common friends keep telling me that he talks to everyone about and that he really really likes and is too shy to ask me out..
That's not the problem my parents are the problem they don't even aprove with the idea of me dating at all..
Yesterday he asked me out and I told him I have to think about it.. I can go out with him and not tell my parents witch I will but he isn't too old for me right?
I mean he just turned 15
And I'm 13 and a half..
Please help me and don't tell me that I shouldn't do anything that my parents don't want me to do because they are so overprotective and always judgmental..

Hello u:

There's no law about dating. The law is about SEX. As long as you don't have SEX, there's nothing illegal about it.

Is it a good idea? Sure. Go to the mall with him.

excon

Yes, he's too old for you. Listen to your parents and obey them. When you're older, you'll be glad you did. Everyone's parents are overprotective and judgmental. That's what parents are supposed to be like. (Wonder why.) Somehow, they become more rational and agreeable when you get older.

I'm 13 and a half almost 14

Too young for anything serious, probably, too young to test the waters and start chattin up boys, nah


I don't think it's a huge deal. But like excon said, don't be having sex, because that's when things get complicated emotionally and legally

Do things with other kids as a group. I couldn't date alone with a guy until I was 16. Before then, I hung out with kids after school, was part of a church youth group (we went on all sorts of day trips to area attractions, like the zoo or a state park or a museum, plus had a softball team and bowled together). Get to know how different people, especially guys, think and act and talk. If you're successful doing that, you will be a fun date.

its like a year and a half.. that could be one grade level difference
True, that's how it looks. But he will soon be 16 and will be breaking the law if he has sex with her. And sex is at the top of the list for 16 y/o males.

Regardless, your parents are telling you NO! At 13 you are too young to date and a 15 year old boy telling you to disobey your parents is trouble.

Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin and he was in his 20's.
Yes, and he was a rural Southerner (i.e. hillbilly) who didn't know any better. Plus, he was blacklisted because of it. Wikipedia says, "The publicity caused an uproar and the [British] tour was cancelled after only three concerts. The scandal followed Lewis home to America, and as a result, he was blacklisted from radio and almost vanished from the music scene."

Now, stick around here for several years and read all the questions that come in from young teen girls who are or think they are pregnant. The males in the picture are boys a year or two or three older than they are.

lol, name calling.. . Nice.
I'm a Tar Heel and have the right.

Now, stick around here for several years and read all the answers that come in from older members who actually think anyone younger than themselves is completely incapable of making a good decision.
When we were young, we didn't think anyone older than we were knew anything. Nothing changes; everything stays the same.

Alright, I won't tell you to listen to your parents. Given his behavior and the fact you came here for a second opinion makes me think this is just a harmless friendship. Take excon's idea, go to the mall, eat at the food court. Get to know his friends and have fun.

Dating doesn't automatically mean romance, so everyone can relax.

See, when you bring law into play, you open up a whole can of worms. No one understand the law, there's a lot of it, especially around sex.

Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin and he was in his 20's.
And that was just sick. He should have been jailed.

If this girl's parents are OK with this, then social dating (going out with friends) is OK
But we should not be telling this 13 year old to go against her parents rules.

Hey well I'm also 13 and I want to date somebody 16 (my parents won't let me date till I'm 15) so I mean You have to know the guy and also know that since you guys are in separate schools (middle & high) u have to be able to trust him but really dating is harmless and only you know when you're ready :)

but really dating is harmless

Dating can be harmless, but it can also lead to major problems. At 13 you may not be able to tell before its too late.


and only u know when youre ready :)

You would really like to believe that don't you. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way,

OK well If you don't know know when you're ready who does especially when you don't tell anyone the only people who know a relationship are the people in it

ok well If you dont know know when you're ready who does especially when you dont tell anyone the only people who know a relationship are the ppl in it

I can tell you when you're ready.

1. When you're willing and able to take responsibility for any of the consequences that dating can bring on.
2. When the people that supply you with a roof over your head, food on the table, medical care, schooling, clothes, and everything else, say that you're ready.

That's only for dating.

When it comes to sex, you're ready when;

1. You can financially support a child.
2. You are in a secure, loving relationship.
3. You can physically care for a child.

At 13, you're not ready for any of this.

If you are carrying on a relationship in secret then you are showing that you are not ready.

While you are growing, developing, maturing, then your parents are the best judges. They have the experience to evaluate what you are and what you are going through.

I am your age, so it may help may not. But here is my opinion. I don't think you are too yound to date. I don't think he is too old for you. I think you should keep the relationship light and easy. If you get too serious, if your parents get in the way, it will be all the much harder. Go ahead, have a date with him. Just, don't go too far outside your parents zone. The reason they make the rules they do is to protect you. Maybe your mom had a bad experience at your age. If its really concerning you to disobey your parents, talk to them about why they don't want you to. If it is within reason, make a deal. Like you can go to the movies, and date him, as long as you have friends with you. Nothing too late or too serious or too alone. Just don't go and break yours, your parents, or the boys, heart. Its an important thing. But if you make a mistake, o well, you tried, we are young, we are supposed to make mistakes. Just don't get too hurt. Good luck!

i am your age, so it may help may not. but here is my opinion. i dont think you are too yound to date. i dont think he is too old for you. i think you should keep the relationship light and easy. if you get too serious, if your parents get in the way, it will be all the much harder. go ahead, have a date with him. just, dont go too far outside your parents zone. the reason they make the rules they do is to protect you. maybe your mom had a bad experience at your age. if its really concerning you to disobey your parents, talk to them about why they dont want you to. if it is within reason, make a deal. like you can go to the movies, and date him, as long as you have friends with you. nothing too late or too serious or too alone. just dont go and break yours, your parents, or the boys, heart. its an important thing. but if you make a mistake, o well, you tried, we are young, we are supposed to make mistakes. just dont get too hurt. good luck!

Yes, you are young and supposed to make mistakes, but its your parents job to protect you from those mistakes as much as possible. You gave good advice about talking the issue out with one's parents and trying to negotiate a compromise. But the decision about when to start dating is up to your parents, not you.

I've said this in other threads. The media has glorified romantic relationships to the extent that kids want in at younger and younger ages. And that is NOT a good thing. Childhood is a time of innocence and it should be enjoyed. Throwing a child into a romantic relationship is fraught with peril because they are not yet equipped to handle it. This is an area where kids need to slow down, not speed up.

13 is too young to date. You are barely teen and at 15 this boy is already in High School, you're in middle school. What is wrong with that picture?
This guy is too old for you and you are too young to be going on date alone with a boy.

Your parents know what's best, they've been there. Times have changed but a 13 year old is a 13 year old. 15 year old boys are still 15 year old boys and for the most part are not interested in girls in middle school or that young.

He is a little to old for you. Two years is a big diffrence at that age. You may not think so now but it is. You should not be thinking about the stuff he is. He only wants one thing, I can guarantee it. I been there exactly except I was fifteen and the guy was seventeen. It is a bad situation. Your parents are right. They are there for a reason, listen to them. If he is so great why can't he contact you himself, sounds kind of cocky to me.

Hi OP at age 13 and a half you need to do more to show your parents that you are mature enough to go on dates, although you really are too young, but if you act immature about your parents deciding that you arent to go out on dates, or go behind their backs then expect your parents to be more determined than ever to stop you going out on dates, you need to earn this privilege and you will only do this by showing that youre being more sensible to them.

If you argue back chat shout and and scream call your parents names and act like a child then they wont be willing to change their minds about it, but if you are polite and speak to them nicely no temper tantrums, that will help them feel they can trust you. So it really is up to you. Plus if they agree to you going out on dates you have to also respect that there may be conditions to that. Going on dates, isnt being allowed to get into anything youre too young for like sex, or heavy petting etc, you can't do that whilst youre under 16.You also have to know you are not an adult or anywhere near one, youre just about a teenager, and you have 5 years to go before you will be an adult.

If you do as your parents tell you, and you can be more sensible and they see this you have a good chance of them letting you go on dates. But act like a child and expect to get treated like one. Your choice.

Believe it or not us oldies were 13 once, and we too thought we knew it all, we didnt, and you dont either, but you can get through these teen years in an easy way or a hard way, you can show youre sensible, or you can act childish, one gets what you want one doesnt, you work it out.

Good Luck

im turning 14. you need to go for it, but dont let things get too far

I agree with this completely. If you both like each other, than have a go and try dating a little bit. Don't be so serious about it though... As in date, but behave more like friends. If your parents see this then they'll probably get to like the guy and they might even change their minds about you and him. I speak from exactly the same dilemma at the moment, except I'm 15, he's 17 and I have dated before. But seriously, give it a go, don't go too far :)