I am married for last 4yrs with my old friend she happen to meet me 6 yes back I a training.After a gap of 2 yrs we again met and remain as aquintance but wit clearly pole apart opinions in life on all possible issues.But somehow at time my family was searching for the girl I developed a strange liking for this opposite thinking girl.So I proposed her for marriage and we ended up marring each other.
Soon our differnces started croping up regarding issues like -spending habbits-shi is shopoholic and I am after saving money and against unnesary shopping,Issue like her involvement with family and home,her disinterest and disrespect for my mothers opinion,issues like her careless attitude toward small details in and out of hm,her preferance for job and going abraod on projets vis a vis home,my adahrance to my parents commands and of course too much interest in her maternal family and her staying there for more the 10 days when they are just 5km from our home and so on.
Now every day we hv a figh where in she clearly mark me as looser,bore and label me as my parents puppet and what not,Even blame me for having only physical interest in her,Seeing and bearing all this to avoide dispute I hv offerd her an exit from marriage but we both don't dare to go for divorse due to sosial stigma,familiy honour and our 2 yr old sone.I hv taken a stand inorder to avoide further bitterness I only talk to her if required in extreme situations or anything related to our son.We are not having any physisal relation since 1 month or bit more.
Help me understant what sholuld be my satnd in future,Can we sttel the dispute and live a sfamily.. is it still workable ,what will be the impact off all this on our son to whom we both love like mad(she has been too possesive about him since birth to an extent he never trusted me taking him alone to any place with fear I may not do some black magic on him.. another pt of dispute)
I am hopeless suggest what's the righ path for me/us

You need a third party to hear you out - both of you - and help you find common ground, a path to walk together in the future.

I think it's possible to be totally different from your partner and for both of you to still be happy and content.

Do I assume you are not in the US?

You work it out and compromise, and a neutral third party can help, or you get a divorce, social stigma not withstanding. Makes me wonder what you guys discussed before you were married.

my adherence to my parents commands
Sounds like you are somehow still living with your parents, so why have you not settled into your own home? Clearly she is not as traditional as you are, and this should have been a topic of conversation before you married. Are you both of the same caste? What was the agreement before you married between the families?