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View Full Version : He asked me to back off


circle8
Jul 7, 2010, 10:59 PM
I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months and he has been hot and cold. He asked me out Monday dinner had great time. I gave him call next day as he hasn't been well. He didn't return my call (tues)and I text him weds night night, night babe. I got text of him and he said he was still sick and would prefer me not texting or calling it's not what he wants.I said OK, sorry. What do I do?I am upset

J_9
Jul 7, 2010, 11:01 PM
You back off. Leave him alone. If and when he wants to get back in touch with you he will.

Kitkat22
Jul 7, 2010, 11:11 PM
Could he be married and not telling you?

kp2171
Jul 7, 2010, 11:13 PM
Back the hell away.

Like... now or sooner.

If the city puts up signs that say "bridge out" and puts up barricades and barriers and you still decide to go down that path and dump yourself over the cliff into the ravine below... seems to me you might have put yourself in that place by choice.

Until this guy chases you down hard and gives you legitimate reasons for his screwing up... well... all you have is his letting you be the uncomfortable one.

And while that might seem melodramatic... if you read anything I ever post and believe it... please believe this... the time you spend caring for another has NOTHING to do with your choice of whether this situation is right for you.

I spent years on two different women, thinking "well, after all weve been through, we should be able to turn the corner"... nah. It doesn't work like that.

Time spent on any relationship doesn't make it a better fit or more likely to succeed.

Period.

So...

The boy asked for space.

Give him what he wants and then some... even then, if he chases you down and demands your attention, that doesn't mean he is vested in you... he might just be interested in keeping options available.

Ick to that.

I've done that more than once and regretted it always.

talaniman
Jul 8, 2010, 06:18 AM
Do as he says and back off. Hey dinner was nice, but leave him alone. That's what he said he wanted, so give it to him.

redhead1992
Jul 8, 2010, 06:26 AM
I know its tough but you've got to respect his wishes. I know you won't feel fulfilled until you figure out what the deal is, so maybe try to contact him again in a week or two. Do you guys oftn refer to each other as "babe" that might have scared him a bit if it was out of the ordinary.

to me this guy sounds like a jerk, you're trying to be nice and caring and he pushes you away? Sound like he was probably trying to hide something from you... like a girlfrind or wife... just what I know frommy experience..

good luck =)

Cat1864
Jul 8, 2010, 07:09 AM
It doesn't sound like he wants space from the relationship. Just space and time to heal. One less stress to go with the stress of being ill. Especially if he is ill and trying to work and/or go to school and then fall down. Keeping up with the pleasantries of a rather new relationship might seem like way too much.

My son and husband are bears in winter when it comes to being sick. All they want is to be left alone in their misery. He may very well be the same way. Let him contact you when he feels better.

On the other hand, if you have been talking about marriage during the past six months, his illness may be relationship over-dose. Slow down. Enjoy the dating and getting to know each other's likes and dislikes. Go for favorite colors and TV shows not who should be invited to the wedding.

BWK10
Jul 8, 2010, 07:56 AM
Damn I wish when I felt sick my ex would have asked how I was. Ha

Kitkat22
Jul 8, 2010, 02:05 PM
Damn I wish when I felt sick my ex would have asked how I was. Ha




My ex makes me sick:eek: