Sneezy here.

Oh boy, it's been a while since I've asked a question, but perhaps you wiser folks could give me some sort of wisdom.

So, I have a girlfriend. Things have been, for a lack of a better word, fantastic. Can't really complain much about the relationship.

I'm back here for the summer break, and we agreed on some bullet points for the summer... how often we should talk, how often we'll see one another, etc. And in all honesty, it went well.

I'm going back to school in a month, so I decided that I would take a month off from work to vacation and such... and what better place to go than to see my girlfriend?

So I "moved"... for a month. Rented a place, etc. The reasons I came here are not exactly solely for her. You see, my girlfriend (through her connections) offered me a position to work in a hospital part time. So the reasons I'm here is due to:

1. the hospital
2. to see her
3. vacation

Well, the day before I came here, her parents snooped around and found our chat conversations that weren't... well, kosher. I agree, any parent would be upset to find these things, so I'm not really disagreeing with them. What I am disagreeing with them on is that they have put her on intensive lockdown: no phone, no car, no computer. Nothing.

Might I remind my readers that I am 24, and she is 22... we are both in medical school.

So, I get that they're upset... I get that, but to place a grown woman in lockdown seems a little... overkill. Regardless, what's done is done, and I am now stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. No job, no transportation (the girlfriend was to handle this portion), no way of seeing the girlfriend, and certainly no vacation.

I'm getting by OK... I'm a big boy, and I'll be just fine. However, I need some of the parents' opinion on this. If you found out about the boyfriend, and you knew that your daughter were to leave for school in a month, wouldn't you rather invite the guy over to have a talk with him? Get to know him a little? Try to figure out if he's an axe murderer?

Now, I'm not saying that they shouldn't be upset. I completely understand that they are. I'm assuming that their method of placing her on lockdown is to... prevent her from reaching me, in hopes that... we'll break up? I'm not entirely sure.


Oh, to add... she wants to move out, however, in a brilliant scheme by her parents, they took her money before they let her know that they found out about all this. And no, she is not going to take them to court for it... nor is it advised to.

I am able to stay in touch with her via email every now and then... and last week, she took her lunch break from work to see me and we got her a prepaid cell phone so that I can AT LEAST know what's going on.

Hi Isneezefunny

How did your g/f parents find the contets of the chats you had with your girlfriend, and what they contained?

I agree with you it does seem strange them taking the lock down approach, have you not met them officially ?

Maybe you could go to visit them and explain your intentions are honourable with their Daughter, and that you've "moved" to where she is and that its ony for a short period.

Maybe they need to know more about you, and if you were to approach them in this way they would then feel differently about it and you and their daughter would be able to take up your original plans.

If it were my daughter, I would be more inclined to be accommodating if you were to pay myself and her father a visit in this way...


Hope this helps...

Well, the "how" they snooped is a long story that involves several members of the family. Long story short: her computer was turned off, on her bed, and someone VERY nosy decided to turn it on, turn on the chat program, and look for our specific chat.

I have not yet met the parents formally... the meeting was scheduled for when I came down here. The parents DO know about me, hence the suspicion and thus the actions that followed those suspicions.

The conversation was a regular conversation, with a few sweet things inserted (I refuse to quote in an effort to hide my softiness) as well as a few... intimate details. We discussed about birth control options as well as a funny incident that occurred the last time we were intimate with one another.

I talked to the girlfriend about me talking to the parents (it would most likely be a call, as I have no transportation... but if push came to shove, I could get a cab), but her response was, "No. They don't want to see you, they don't want to talk to you, they don't even want to hear your name right now."

Granted, her mother is seemingly... flip-floppy. The other day, she mentioned to the girlfriend that in a few years, if we are still together, marriage may be an option.. . then yesterday, it went back to, "No you may not call him."

I assume you're in the USA, and as such things are very different there to the UK where I am, however everyone in the USA is considered an adult at age 21?

In which case if this is correct then she can basically do as she likes, unless Im wrong on the age 21 part.

If she's considered an adult then she does not have to abide by her parents rule although as she still lives at home then that could mean she's to abide by the rules in that aspect.

Have you tried to phone them yourself?
This does appear to be way over the top actions for a 22yr old having a personal chat with her b/f, its not like they caught you having sex or similar, and in real terms her private chats with you are her business.


Tricky one this, there are parents who are owed respect for being just that, there's your g/f boundaries and privacy which have been abused or ignored.

Your g/f is the one really who needs to take a stand over this with her parents.

Can she maybe talk this through with them and tell them that she wants to see you.

Im trying to think of other angles you could possibly use. Ill get back to you...

In the states, 18 is the legal age to be considered an "adult."

You're absolutely right, I think this whole situation is entirely in the hands of my girlfriend now.

Unfortunately, she has strict parents. You can't change her parents' parental style. The first step is to accept her parents' wishes. As long as she's living in her home, she has to follow certain rules, regardless of how old she is.

Moving out is a definite option, but she will have to figure out how to accomplish that. The best thing you can do is support whatever decision that she makes.

Finally, be more cautious about the conversations that you have, in which there is a written record. You never know when something like this will happen.

She obviously has to leave her house sometimes. So when she's out, try your best to spend time with her. You're going to have to work around her parents temporarily, until her parents regain her trust.

The key is to be patient. If you really care about each other, you can wait it out together.

I agree with everything you say I Wish.

Her parents told her that they don't care if she moves out, but then drained her bank acct so that she can't... so I feel that moving out isn't the best option to take in the long run.

She goes to work in the morning, and stops by to drop off breakfast, we chat during her lunch break on the prepaid phone I got her, and then she stops by in the evening to drop off dinner. So far, I can't complain.

We're "working around" the parents as much as we can without disrespecting her parents too much. We'll catch each other for 10 - 15 minute increments.

I am being patient, honestly, it doesn't really bother me all TOO much, as I am on vacation, technically. I sleep in, I eat, I read, write, watch TV all day... so I can't complain. She feels guilty and she says that if it's too much for me to handle, she'd understand... logically speaking, that won't change a thing for me. I told her that if breaking up will make her life better, I'd understand, and she said that it wouldn't. So we'll be sticking this out. It's only been a week since I've been here, and granted, I've had some boring moments, but I guess I need it sometimes, to take a break. :)

Once you get back to school, you will have more than enough to keep you busy, so enjoy your time off.

As for seeing her, sounds like you're both making the best out of a bad situation. That's a sign of a strong couple. Now quit doubting each other and make the most of the time that you have together.

Spend some time trying to plan something extra special for those 10-15 minutes increments.

Good call on the "something special"... watcha have in mind? Remember that my resources are limited. The closest ANYTHING near me is a 2 mile walk to a local convenience store...

The Girlfriend Needs to tell her parents to give her money back. She needs to change her bank details so they can not take money from her. Then If she pays her phone bill she needs to tell them to give her phone back.

She is 22 not 15. If her parents have these rules while she lives under their roof fine. But they cannot take her money from her. The only money they can touch of hers would be board money.

She can Threaten to take them to court if they don't give it back... Doesn't mean she has to but a threat doesn't hurt.

Also she needs to tell them to stop or she will move out. They can't stop her from leaving she is an adult.

You don't have to buy something. You can invent a fun, short game that you can play together, even a verbal game. Don't need to always think of something so grand.

Mix it up. You know her best. What kind of surprises does she like? Does she like pranks? Take her on a walk in a romantic setting. Take fun pictures together?

Good call on the "something special"...watcha have in mind? Remember that my resources are limited. The closest ANYTHING near me is a 2 mile walk to a local convenience store...
Where ARE you? Is she Asian or from a fundamentalist Christian family? I don't understand the parents' "rules" and punishments. She's been away at college and can do anything she wants there. Even MY ultra-conservative parents loosened up their rules once I had been away at college.

Haha, I'm in the middle of nowhere currently.

She is Asian... and because of her strict upbringing, she went wild in college, then calmed down when she went to medical school. I think the parents are more upset because they think that she kept me a secret, but in her defense, she wanted to see where the relationship was going before she told her parents, and I was supposed to meet her parents sometime this week. Odd how things work out, huh?

Hmm... this is a bit tricky.. its quite normal with a lot of asian parents.. and threatening usually doesn't work.. I am glad you both are trying to work with this situation though.. be patience.. hopefully things will improve soon.. hang in there.. :)

Are they concerned that she will run off and quit medical school?

Unfortunately, it is between her and them. Not only because she lives under their roof, but because she has to show them that she has matured from the wild child.

I am wondering what else they found on her computer and if she has shared the full story with you or if she even has all the details. They may latched on to you as a convient excuse to put their foot down. You may not be the only reason.

Cloud watching can be a very romantic thing to do.

Hi Sneezy, don't really have much of an advice, just wanted to say hi and that I remember your epic battle with NC, which turned out to be a very inspirational story. Good luck and hope things will work out between you and your girlfriend. It's out of your hands pretty much though. Can you rent a car so at least you can get around? Or maybe a bike? How do you get to the hospital now?

Cat: I doubt that... granted, I'm sure that parents are worried that distractions will lead to academic failure. Funny thing is, because we push each other constantly, we actually do better academically when we are together.

You're right about the missing details. At times, I wonder if I'm getting the complete picture...

Shadow: Thanks buddy. I did rent a car the first few days here to get some stuff for my new place, but it cost me quite a bit. I'll be staying for a month, so I don't really have the budget to rent a car for a month (roughly 2k). I'm not working at the hospital currently... because you see... both her parents are doctors... in high places.

Shadow: Thanks buddy. I did rent a car the first few days here to get some stuff for my new place, but it cost me quite a bit. I'll be staying for a month, so I don't really have the budget to rent a car for a month (roughly 2k). I'm not working at the hospital currently... because you see... both her parents are doctors... in high places.


Oh I got the "lockdown" part now, lol. Then maybe you could salvage whatever is left of summer break and go back to your home town to spend time with friends and family. Otherwise, sitting there without job or car and barely seeing the girl you came over to spend break with, seems like a waste of time - your plans fell through, so Plan B is needed. You'll make it up to each other when back in school:)

Hey sneeze! Welcome back bud.

It is hard to really understand the control her parents have over her at 22. Although I can understand that love comes in many different packages.

I agree with what has been said, time should cure some of the problems but that doesn't help the present situation.

Hang in there if you love her and she loves you, it will find its own way...

Good to see you and good luck.

Stringer

Sneezy, you know how I feel about all of this, so I won't type out a 5 page post reiterating everything I've already told you. ;)

I think you've gotten great advice here, a mixture, so you have a few things to think over and hopefully everything that's been said can help you decide where to go from here.

In other words. Good luck. :)

Her parents can't stop her from being with you, it all sounds a little odd to me have you thought maybe its something your girlfriend made up? I'm not trying to be mean, I just wander if she is being true to you. I really hope that's not the case and if it's not she should tell her parents to mind there own business.

Her parents can't stop her from being with you, it all sounds a little odd to me have you thought maybe its something your girlfriend made up? I'm not trying to be mean, I just wander if she is being true to you. I really hope thats not the case and if it's not she should tell her parents to mind there own business.

Actually, her parents can stop her from seeing him. She lives in their home, they pay for the roof she lives under, the food she eats, everything.

It is a ridiculous situation, because she's 22, not 10, but is it odd enough to be made up? Not at all.

What reason would she have to lie about this? None. If she is, she has serious issues, and knowing Sneezy like I do he would pick up on that. So no. This isn't a lie. In fact, if anything, she's holding back on telling the whole truth, In my opinion.

Telling her parents to mind their own business would be great advice, if she had someplace to go after they kick her out.

Dealing with strict parents who have total control over everything she does may have changed the grand plans for a sweet vacation, and made things really difficult, but see this as a test to know how you both deal with the obstacles that confront you.

It may not be as great as it could be, but stay positive and supportive as she is disappointed also, and is in a very tough position of obeying her parents, who she depends on for everything, and a guy she wants to be with, and planned to.

It is what it is, so enjoy what they do allow for now, (they obviously can't control her that much) and don't let it get to you. This is truly a go with the flow time, in which knowing you like we do, you will, and not put pressure on her, to get what you want.

I think your patience and understanding will pay off soon, as this relationship develops further, after vacation is over, and school starts again. See it as a time to be making some creative adjustments, and enjoy it for what it is. (the cell phone was a very creative adjustment to keep in touch).

Maybe its for the best that you were forced to slowdown a bit, and regroup, but she had better keep better control over things that it may not be best for her parents to know, and you be more careful with your written words as now you know she has SNOOPY strict parents. Another adjustment to make.

You have handled yourself well so far, better than most, and as long as you respect and understand the power her parents have, you will do fine. Maybe not as great as you COULD be doing, bur fine for now, and that's not a bad thing considering the obstacles to overcome. Appreciate her efforts to see you, reassure her guilt, and just keep it real for now, as its not for you to control, or her either.

Sometimes you have to be grateful for the small things, until bigger, and better ones happen.

Thanks tal, I really appreciate it.

At times, because I'm basically stuck in the countryside, and me being a city boy, I've gotten frustrated, but I know how much harder this must be for her, so I haven't said a word. I've been keeping busy reading, writing, watching TV shows that I have missed a while back, and catching up on sleep. She comes by every morning and buys me breakfast and drops by every evening and drops off dinner. She's a sweet gal (did I say gal?)

When she does feel guilty, I reassure her that I am doing fine, staying busy, and she needs not worry about me, and doesn't have to bring me food.

Like you said, I'm going with the flow... I think I'm a pretty laid back kind of guy, so it's not as bad :)

As far as her parents "not being able to control her THAT much," she is allowed to go to work and come back. Her parents check in often at work. On the weekends, she walks to the local library to read and get away from home, but her parents check in every hour (drive by the library) to see if she's there. Ridiculous for a 22 year old? Definitely.

Like you said, tal, as ridiculous as this situation is, we're making the best of it. I kind of see it as a bonding experiment, to see, "hey, if we can get through this, then we should be ok."

Wow, sounds like she's making a huge effort. The last thing you need to do is make her feel guilty. Focus on making her feel appreciated for all the effort that she's putting in.

You guys are definitely making the best of a bad situation.

However, how come you can take her to work and pick her up from work? What about meeting up for lunch? A few extra minutes here and there is always great.

Wow, sounds like she's making a huge effort. The last thing you need to do is make her feel guilty. Focus on making her feel appreciated for all the effort that she's putting in.

You guys are definitely making the best of a bad situation.

However, how come you can take her to work and pick her up from work? What about meeting up for lunch? A few extra minutes here and there is always great.

I Wish, I think you read that wrong. He can't take her to and from work. She drives herself, but stops off to bring him food before and after work.

Sneezy doesn't have transportation right now. Also, meeting for lunch, in the hospital where she works is a very bad idea. Her parents would definitely find out.

I Wish, I think you read that wrong. He can't take her to and from work. She drives herself, but stops off to bring him food before and after work.

Sneezy doesn't have transportation right now. Also, meeting for lunch, in the hospital where she works is a very bad idea. Her parents would definitely find out.

My bad.

In that case, Sneezy, you guys really are making the most of the available time together.

I see it this way, you could be back home, long distance, which would really suck, as you are not able to speak on the phone nor on the Internet anyway. That kind of arrangement would put a huge strain on the relationship.

Or you can be in her city and be able to see her every day. At least you can see each other about twice a day. That's amazing compared to the alternative, if you ask me.

In other words, things could be much worse. So need to focus on the negatives, just think of the positives.

Doing what I can :)

After being here for about a week, I realize, it's not too bad. Yes, I have no transportation... so that's a little tough, seeing as I'm used to going out all the time, but again, it's giving me time for some R&R.

As far as something "nice" for her... you guys are absolutely right. I do appreciate her, but I don't show it enough. I think I'm going to write her a letter of some sort. Yes, sappy sneezy's coming out.

Here's an idea I have had about this.

If not now but at sometime in the near future you could invite your g/f and her parents out to an Asian Restaurant for a meal, the setting would be neutral and also show you have considered their culture and traditions.

Just an idea, it really depends on your views of your and g/f`s future together. If you're serious I think it would be a good icebreaker.

positiveparent:

I completely agree with you. I'm actually WAITING to hear back from her about me meeting her parents, possibly having a chat with them, and explaining to them that I'm not just going to leave their daughter, so to speak.

Side note: I'm asian as well, just... a different asian. Haha.

side note: I'm asian as well, just...a different asian. haha.
I'm glad you added this tidbit. (I was going to, but decided that was private information you would have to mention yourself.) This tells us all that you understand the Asian parents' mind and the protective mantle that's put around family and children, especially daughters.

Totally agreed! (reminds me of my own mother)

Update:

Things were going just fine up until recently. The girlfriend and I are keeping in touch via phone, and she comes over when she can make time before/after work.

Today, I get a call from her somewhat furious. Apparently, while she was at work, someone in her family had come all the way to where she works, searched through her car (they have the spare keys), as well as searched through her purse.

She feels that this is the final straw. Searching her room, fine... it's the parents' house. Searching the car, fine... they paid for it. However, searching her purse, she feels, is going a bit too far.

She's contemplating moving out. I shall keep you all apprised.

Just remember to stay by her side and support whatever she decides.

They have definitely crossed boundary lines all over the place. Where will she go if she moves out?

I would suggest if she does leave that she take all of the things she can that she values. I am afraid of what their reaction will be.

Can they mess up her work and schooling?

Good luck to her and you. :)

Yes definitely be there for her, does she have any place to go.

It will be rough for her I am sure, but with you beside her and supporting her, you'll both get through this maybe fate has played a hand, and this is a sign for you both to take a bigger step together and make your relationship a permanent one. Its up to you, JMO

Well, the logistics of actually moving out hasn't been fully prepared (I'm all about planning things), but the general idea would be that she would stay with me... either for a few days until she finds her own place, or permanently until we go back to school (in less than 4 weeks).

I'm supporting her the best I can... granted, when she asks me whether she should move out, I really don't have a proper answer for that.

If she does move out, technically, our student loans come out at the beginning of August, so we just have to maintain ourselves financially until then. I have enough in my savings to support the both of us until then, which isn't a big deal... however, we both acknowledge that we've only been dating for four months, thus, moving in is a huge step. We have rationalized it that we're not moving in because we want to, but due to circumstances, and we have both come to terms.

Regardless, I'll keep you guys apprised as far as what she'll decide.

Hmmmm Sneez...

Sometimes situations dictate what you have to do.

Look what you both have made it through so far! Moving together till school starts will not be an issue for you both.

Its not forever and you will get to spend more time together.

Id say go for it.

Hmmmm Sneez...

Sometimes situations dictate what you have to do.

This is true. As you know, I'm more of a laid back kind of guy... if she moves out, then I'll be here for her... if she doesn't move out, I'm still here. I just can't seem to tell her to either move out or not. This is an issue with her family, and truth be told, I'd rather not get dragged in further than I already am. It may sound selfish... but I can't seem to figure out what the "right" thing to do is.

On one hand, yes, she is miserable at home, and can't stand it, so she wants to move out. I want her to be happier, so yes, I support that decision.

On the other hand, Asian parents are well, strict. Crazy strict. I was fortunate enough to have parents who learned to let go as I grew up, but a lot of my friends are still under strict parenting... even at 25 - 26. Moving out seems like it will destroy their relationship, and I wouldn't really want that for her.

Look what you both have made it through so far! Moving together till school starts will not be an issue for you both.

Its not forever and you will get to spend more time together.

Id say go for it.

Yeah, moving in with me wouldn't be a huge deal; it's what happens with her family post-move that is the issue.

Tell her that she should be moving out for herself and not for you. You're right, it's only been 4 months, so it's too early to make such a huge commitment to you and only you. Think about it this way, (knock on wood), if you guys break up, would she regret moving out? That would suck for her.

Tell her that she should be moving out for herself and not for you. You're right, it's only been 4 months, so it's too early to make such a huge commitment to you and only you. Think about it this way, (knock on wood), if you guys break up, would she regret moving out? That would suck for her.

Oh, I agree completely. If she moves out, she's not moving in with me because she wants to live together. We've already established that it's too early to do so, but due to circumstances, we'll deal with it. If she moves out, it will be because she can't handle living at home anymore.

And yes, knock on wood. We've had a few minor ups and downs, but really, we've had a VERY open line of communication, and we're both openly honest with one another, and we've dealt with any upsets by talking and compromise.

Sneezy, it isn't selfish. Selfish would be telling her to move in with you and not to think about the future. What you are doing is what we advise people to do nearly every day-allow their partners to stand up for themselves and do what they need to with support. It is her family. She has to deal with it. She has to deal with the fallout after you both go back to your respective schools.

Just keep letting her know that you are there for her.

First... I'm jaded.

For too many reasons from too many angles. Dated a girl in med school. Controlling parents. More than enough young love crash and burns only after all in.

So...

I need the girl to take a stand against her parents. If she won't now, you know this is a struggle. Doesn't mean undoable... but seriously... she is an adult. Period. Act like it.

I get the parents "shock" at finding stuff that is shocking in the context of parent/child. Know what? Don't care. The parents need to grow up too.

Worst-ish case, it's a short term problem, maybe. Meaning the 'rents might make your summer fun less fun... its halfway through summer. What... six weeks until you are back?

My advice to you is to be up front with her... you get that its rough to have that pressure. You hope she can find her own footing. And that, long term thinking, this is a short term lock down for the summer.

I don't know. While I think this could easily be a longer term issue... and maybe one that you would be willing to deal with if it became serious and stayed strong... it also could be just a stupid thing getting in the way of a nice relationship that is good right now.

Most relationships at your stage, I believe, are for a time and not for all time... find a comfort zone between being the "understanding guy" who is willing to maybe wade through a few more weeks of dumb, dumn nonsense from the parents... and being the guy who is willing to say "this is what i want and hope for us" without it being a guilt trip.

Dated a Big Love with one really uber controlling parent, while she was in college and med school. It was sometimes clumbsy, sometimes annoying... mostly manageable. She wasn't responsible for her mothers personality... but as long as she was getting tuition paid by them, there were some strings attached that sometimes tripped us up.

Annoying. Inconvenient. She was worth the noise for that time.

this is true. As you know, I'm more of a laid back kinda guy...if she moves out, then I'll be here for her...if she doesn't move out, I'm still here. I just can't seem to tell her to either move out or not. This is an issue with her family, and truth be told, I'd rather not get dragged in further than I already am. It may sound selfish...but I can't seem to figure out what the "right" thing to do is.

On one hand, yes, she is miserable at home, and can't stand it, so she wants to move out. I want her to be happier, so yes, I support that decision.

On the other hand, Asian parents are well, strict. Crazy strict. I was fortunate enough to have parents who learned to let go as I grew up, but a lot of my friends are still under strict parenting...even at 25 - 26. Moving out seems like it will destroy their relationship, and I wouldn't really want that for her.

I will not claim to understand the Asian family. (But must say I do like the closeness they have) However I do know that respect is a big factor and decisions have to be made considering this part of it. Present situations can be difficult but thinking about the future and how it will be with her and her parents counts also. Particularly if you too end up together for good.

You're a thoughtful guy, but situations like this are really tricky. Its one thing to be supportive, and quite another to get in the middle of this. Giving her an easy out solves nothing and can only cause even worse feelings between a growing independent adult daughter, and very strict parents.

She is angry at them now, yet still dependent on them in many ways, but the biggest fact to me is the short time you have been together.

Yeah, sounds good on paper, just move in with you, and be done with the strict parents. That's the easy way out, for now.

The real issue is between her, and her parents, and she should be talking to them, as an adult, and not running away from them. At this time make no such moves fueled by emotions, and convenience, but she can take steps to insure her privacy, and let the emotional dust settle, and make a more thought out plan for herself.

In this way, you both get the time you need to talk more and see where your headed without making impulsive decisions that may come back to bite you in the butt.

Remember, decisions based on facts, and not just feelings are the best ways to deal with issues and situations, that may have more to them that meets the eye, and can have consequences later.

She may not be as ready as she thinks for what follows, and looks like a natural choice, and you may not be ready for the stress and pressure of her taking the easy way out of her house.

I play for time, and encourage her to see better options she may have. Something tells me, this is only the tip of the iceberg. She needs to have the means to stand on her own, if she is really ready for some adult responsibility. Her parents will always be an issue, and its important for her to take the correct steps to insure her privacy, but that's between them, and if you get in this, you become a target, and excuse for the parents, and probably are already, but don't know it.

Get the facts, all of them. Then make a good decision for yourself. For all the feelings, you are still young, STRANGERS with much more to find out about each other.

I agree with what kp and tal said. Moving out is simply her way of "running away." She does need to take a stand, but there are a few issues here.

1. We're Asian. Asian children... rarely take stands against their parents. Our philosophy is... they raised us, and it's our duty to obey and respect their wishes. It's as simple as that. As I said, I still have friends and relatives who are FAR MORE locked down than my girlfriend is, simply because it's just the way things are. Us taking a stand and telling parents that something is unfair is very disrespectful.

2. She is still being supported by her parents.

I talked to her this morning over breakfast, and I was trying to find that comfort zone between, "I'm here for you" and "I can't do this long term if this keeps up"... and I think I did it... ok. Cautiously, I mentioned that if this continues, in the long run, this does not bode well for us, as it adds stress that we just simply don't need. However, whichever decision she takes, I'll support her.

This is her current position:

She is currently under financial support from her parents, and thus, she is opposed to standing up against her parents. She is hoping that once she is in school again, away from her parents' financial support, that she will take a stand. She doesn't want to burn that bridge just for a taste of freedom for three weeks.

What bothers me, however, is that when I brought up the idea that she should at least talk to her parents about invading her privacy, her method is to just simply ignore it, withstand it, and hope that it will go away. This doesn't seem like a good solution, but hey... it's not my parents, so I can't say much. I simply advised that if she doesn't at least draw some boundaries, that this, whether she's 25 or 30, can happen. I doubt that she'll draw boundaries, but she's still holding onto hope that when she's out of the house, in three weeks, that this problem will simply disappear.

At least I got my point across that although I do support her, and I'm here for her, that I worry how this will affect our future (if we have one).

I have to stop myself and remember that you have said she has a past history affecting their perceptions along with the normal cultural issues.

How much guilt is she carrying from 'going wild in college'? How much of their strictness and invasiveness is due to fear that she is repeating the past?

I have to stop myself and remember that you have said she has a past history affecting their perceptions along with the normal cultural issues.

How much guilt is she carrying from 'going wild in college'? How much of their strictness and invasiveness is due to fear that she is repeating the past?

I, myself, have to remind myself of this as well. I keep forgetting that their actions are based upon what she has done in the past. Their actions are relatively justifiable when compared to her going wild in college. She partied and didn't get the grades that she could have gotten, so I believe her parents are afraid that she may repeat the past. In that case, their controlling behavior is justified.

She regrets what she did in college and admits that she did make mistakes, and she is adamant in not repeating her mistakes, as this is the career that she wants and there is nothing that will get in the way of that this time around, including myself. If I got in her way of becoming a doctor, she would drop me quick, as would I. We agreed that if our relationship got in the way of our academics, we would have to split up, simple as that.

My conclusion is that if she had a chat with her parents, explained to them that she's not willing to throw away her future career for anything, then perhaps that they would understand; from her perspective, however, she has tried talking to them multiple times, and each time resulted in them yelling at her and not allowing her to speak. It's a tough situation, and it seems something happens every few days, and I'm trying my best to stay out of it. I guess we'll see what happens in a few days, again.

Good luck.

I hope things even out and that this isn't a preview of things to come.

When it comes to these kinds of situation, it's extremely difficult. It's a damned if you do and damned if you don't type of scenario.

1) Either she will suffer, by continuing to endure her parents.

2) Or she will suffer, because she has to live with the guilt of disobeying her parents.

The more you think about it, the more frustrating as it gets.

However, since it's only been 4 months that you've been together, I suggest you focus on the relationship and not her family. Find more ways to make your relationship together as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.

It's one thing to have honest communication and see where you each stand, but you don't want to spend all your time talking about her parents. Those kinds of conversations will take you circles, when you could have spent that time doing something fun together during the little time that you do have together.

The more fun you have together, the stronger the relationship gets. The harder it will be for others to shake your relationship.

I suggest you focus on the relationship and not her family. Find more ways to make your relationship together as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.

You're absolutely right. Because she's trying to find a solution to the situation, we spend most of our time talking about this, and we forget to enjoy each others' company. You're absolutely right. Thanks for the reminder.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Cat1864 again.

Quote by Cat,
I hope things even out and that this isn't a preview of things to come.

I think that Cat is correct in pointing out that this drama is part of her maturity process she is going through, and a rare opportunity of you seeing a side of her you need to know, if you stay objective, and pay attention. You have given many reasons you should and not just sweep any facts under the rug at this point. Facts, and not just feelings. Calls for a clear head, and hers may NOT be. Don't be in a hurry, as more will definitely be revealed.


I, myself, have to remind myself of this as well. I keep forgetting that their actions are based upon what she has done in the past. Their actions are relatively justifiable when compared to her going wild in college. She partied and didn't get the grades that she could have gotten, so I believe her parents are afraid that she may repeat the past. In that case, their controlling behavior is justified.
Knowing there are two sides to this saga will help you keep a good perspective.

My conclusion is that if she had a chat with her parents, explained to them that she's not willing to throw away her future career for anything, then perhaps that they would understand; from her perspective, however, she has tried talking to them multiple times, and each time resulted in them yelling at her and not allowing her to speak. It's a tough situation, and it seems something happens every few days, and I'm trying my best to stay out of it. I guess we'll see what happens in a few days, again.
Pay close attention to patterns. They are important to recognize and some may take time to develop. But I Wish makes a strong point about over talking her situation, in my view it sure stops the fun, but I can tell you that shared adversity tends to bond people. Not saying its right or wrong, just saying that some bonding in some areas will throw off your perspective. CAUTION IS ADVISED STRONGLY.

Tal: could you further elaborate? Caution as far as... to what?

It's a tough situation, and it seems something happens every few days,

This is what is bothering me. My son had a girlfriend that every week something happened to her or with her family and her. Some of it was made up. Some of it was true. Some of it exaggerated. Some was her Mother/family. Most of it turned out to be her attempting to get more attention.

She was adept at getting people to feel sympathy for her and used it to try to hide her true personality behind.

I am not saying that your girlfriend is doing the same thing. Only that it is a concern to be on the look out for.

Have fun. Get to know each other. But as Tal said, don't close your eyes or ignore the signs that all isn't as it seems.

Hmm... I see what you mean. Due to my tendencies of not trusting anyone, I have been on the lookout, but then again, guys are idiots/blind when it comes to girls.

I have asked myself many times if all this could be... made up, but it seems too complicated/absurd for it to be made up, nor is she the type of person to want attention.

However, good advice, I will be on the lookout.

Tal: could you further elaborate? Caution as far as...to what?

Cat said it nicely, and yes we guys think with our feelings sometimes, and are slow to see red flags waving.

I'm fine with delegating this to cultural nuances.

So... the first priority needs to be her. And if walking a "straighter" path is what she needs to do to get support for her education...

... well...

Mixed feelings here.

She does not need them for this.

Is is more convenient.

Easier long term on her wallet.

But... the fact is this... she can finance her own education. It might not be under as favorable terms. It might take a different window of time. But she is not shackled.

My single parent mother helped me greatly during my schooling. I owe her more than I can ever repay monitarily. I have no issue with respecting and honoring the sacrifices made by parents who want a better life for their children.

But... you don't get to play both sides.

She is obedient by her own choice. It is tied to culture. It is tied to financial need. It is also her free will choice.

Likewise, you choose to stay, you don't complain. You know the drill. You know the situation. You have as good an understanding, and likely better, as any of us about the pressures and the obligations that are assumed and owned in this situation.

So... again... its short time before you are back.

If the noise about the discovered "inappropriate" messages doesn't fade... well... it's a risk you two both took, knowing it wouldn't be favorably viewed. So... own it and decide... if its too much grief for the noise, fine.

Some relationships are great, but have "bad timing"... maybe this is different. I think you both need to at least muck your way through this short-term tethering.

Its annoying. It could be different. It isn't. So you are where you are.

If you stay, you accept this patiently and without too much pressure on her side.

Kp: yep. You pretty much said it as straight as possible.

She will no longer be relying on her parents for finances once we return to school in August, and it's her method of cutting off the control looming over her.

I haven't put much pressure on her (I don't think), as I choose to stay here. I'm a grown up. I can leave whenever I choose to, so I don't blame her for my situation here at all. I figured it's easier for the both of us since we at least get to see each other every few days, even if it's for a few minutes.

I don't really pressure her at all, I simply remind her that although now and here, I'm dealing with it, we would need to figure something out for the long run, as this will not get any better, I don't think. But other than that, I've been relatively enjoying my vacation, and by that, I mean, I haven't left my bed.

I guess this is relatively due for an update.

Her parents left for the weekend, as well as her brother for some sort of a get-together, so she took the opportunity to come see me. We went to a bookstore and just chatted, spent time together, etc. Generally, because I have been given few facts, I asked her what was really going on... the whole story.

She was a little reluctant, but it came down to one thing: her brother. It seems that her and her brother don't get along that well, actually, not at all... he is two years younger, and has been the golden child in the family (culturally, because he's a boy and also because he's the more... academically intelligent one).

The story is quite long, but to summarize, her brother has been snooping, not the parents, in her life and has been notifying the parents of what's been going on in her life. Now, the parents are strict, but apparently, the brother instigates much of the issues. This, by the way, is her perspective, not mine.

Example 1: She used to be a smoker, but over the summer, she quit. I knew this, and applauded her for quitting, but two weeks after she quit, her brother bought a pack of cigarettes and hid it in her room as well as in the car so her parents would find it. It wasn't that she "forgot" she left these cigarettes there, because they were an entirely different brand than the ones she used to smoke...

Example 2: He snooped and found our conversations, printed them out, highlighted portions of it, and showed it to her parents.

Example 3: Last week, while she was working, her brother came by to her work, searched through the car and her purse. She has no proof that it was her brother, but since both of her parents were working at the time, and no one else has keys to the car except her parents and the brother, he seems to be the most likely suspect.

Example 4: While she was at work, as well as her parents, her brother searches through her room... not sure what he's looking for.

Example 5: She has recently received computer privileges back, but her brother, upon seeing her use the computer, disconnected the internet all together.

Example 6: This past weekend, while the parents went away and he was going to his get-together, he said to her, "Someone's watching you...always," then left... only to come back 20 minutes later, stay in the driveway for five minutes, and then leave again.

So... this is entirely her perspective. I can't really pass judgment on the guy because I've personally never met the guy, so I can't really confirm/deny what the issue is... but that's that.

We had a long chat, because when I saw her, she seemed extremely stressed and generally unhappy. We discussed the matter at hand, and the likelihood of a long term status, and we've determined that even if we did end things, things weren't going to get better for either of us while we're here this summer, so might as well enjoy each others' company and support each other...

3 weeks left!

I've been keeping busy by working out, studying ahead, and also, since I figured I could use the skills, I bought myself multiple suture kits and practice them on banana/orange peels. Now, if I can find myself some sort of a live human practice patient...

Too much drama's going on.
Good for you for hanging on, Sneezy.

Haha, I agree. The good thing is, there's so much drama being created by the family, we see no need for there to be drama between us.

Sounds like a very intense situation, but it looks like you've got a good handle on things. Keep it up!

The more obstacles you overcome together, the stronger you will be as a couple.

There's is a person in my ex's extended fam who seems to spend much of her time finding ways to create drama and chaos for others.

It really p!$$ed me off at first.

Stupid, stupid BS that meant nothing long term and just ruined everything short term.

Eventually... I just had to let it go a little and accept that it must be hell to live your life like that.

And while I am so, so not against putting a p*ssy like her brother against a wall (sorry, he is and I don't have to like it)... at least you have some perspective about what is happening.

I think it makes me retract some of what I said about her. Yes... I hope she still stands firm, but its clearly more than what we knew at first.

So he tries to sabotage her life and happiness to keep the spotlight on him.

Wtfever.

In time... she will outshine him tenfold... maybe she already does.

So... again... tick tock... short time until she is away from that noise.

What a fidiot. Damn sure not a man.

KP, you hold the brother against the wall, I'll do the kicking. He's a little weasel. Karma will kick his arse one day. I just hope Sneezy and the girlfriend are there to see it. :)

Ya, I'm a bit vindictive. Didn't you know?

KP, you hold the brother against the wall, I'll do the kicking.

Nope.

If I catch him, you get leftovers. Sorry. I like to see the scared look in their eyes right before they black out.

She's 24 and they lock her in the house? They're fruitcakes! Total
Control freaks! Type A personalities. Bonkers!

nope.

if i catch him, you get leftovers. sorry. i like to see the scared look in their eyes right before they black out.

Well I'm pretty sure I can run faster than you, so I guess I'll be getting dibs. :D

I too like to see the scared look in their eyes when they realize that a woman is going to beat the ever loving heck out of them.

I've got skills, and tools. :)

Use my sisters wind up punch when she was little... Wind up with the left hand then instead of punching with the right hand punch with the left!. This punch is designed for the family jewels!

Well I'm pretty sure I can run faster than you, so I guess I'll be getting dibs. :D

Don't count on it.

I've hidden your running bras. You'll be blinded in five steps, mrs well endowed.

Use my sisters wind up punch when she was little... Wind up with the left hand then instead of punching with the right hand punch with the left!... This punch is designed for the family jewels!

Don't forget the "look".

The Icy Stare of Death makes me giggle. Or turns me on. I forget.

No Kit you use the seduce look while winding up.. Then he has no idea what's coming... Then as you punch you use the dirty look... Gives it a nice touch lol

the Icy Stare of Death makes me giggle. or turns me on. i forget.

The "look" can turn a man to stone. Worked on my kids too when they misbehaved.:eek:

I've dated and loved italian girls for far too long.

Sorry. Just doesn't faze me.

A pouty lip and a feigned tear... that might buy you some time. But the ticked off daggers look... I'm just not that green to the scene.

I'm mad when I give the look.
If I tried a seducing look I would scare Satan himself away.

I'm mad when I give the look.
If I tried a seducing look I would scare Satan himself away.

HAHA there isn't much difference.. You pout the lips a little and put a small smile in the pout and lighten the eyes a little... Then go in for the kill... Well not kill kill lol

HAHA there isnt much difference.. You pout the lips a little and put a small smile in the pout and lighten the eyes a little.... Then go in for the kill... Well not kill kill lol

It depends. If someone hurt my family... :eek:

Maybe its just me. Maybe I'm used to p!ssing girls off. Done my fair share I guess.

Now... go rummage through the garage and come out with my sledge, bee-lining for my truck... ill take that look into consideration. A well chosen prop can tip the scales.

Got to love the anticipation of makeup sex... ;)

It depends. If someone hurt my family....:eek:

Very, very different thing there.

very, very different thing there.





V ery different... I slapped my daughters boyfriend when she was in High School. She had broken up and he was stalking her. She tried to get into her car and he grabbed her arm. Left a bruise. I went to where he worked and slapped him HARD. My husband was in San Fransisco and wanted to leave a project he was on. The boy moved away a short while after.:mad:

Sneezy, that sounds like my younger cousin when he was a child. He eventually outgrew the behavior after he got into some trouble he couldn't pin on anyone else.

The next three weeks should be fun. :rolleyes:

Good luck seeing each other when you can. :)

Yep. I think I got a good grasp at things. So far, she's holding firm, and if I know her well enough, she's pretty darn stubborn, so she won't budge.

Her family has... somewhat accepted that I'm here to stay in their daughter's life. The recent conversation that they had about me (yes, they had a family meeting about me) included ideas from her brother that Asian men beat their wives, and if anyone on this thread knows me, chances are, I'm more liable to get beaten than beat.

On one hand, that's an outrageous statement... on the other, at least they think I'm there to stay for good seeing as they're thinking about the future.

Her brother... is 20, and academically brilliant. Socially, not so much, but academically, a really smart kid. Graduated high school in 3 years, graduated college in 3 years... and is now attending med school. The kid has never left home, so the girlfriend is hoping that once the kid leaves home, he'll be better adjusted.

V ery different....I slapped my daughters boyfriend when she was in High School. She had broken up and he was stalking her. She tried to get into her car and he grabbed her arm. Left a bruise. I went to where he worked and slapped him HARD. My husband was in San Fransisco and wanted to leave a project he was on. The boy moved away a short while after.:mad:

A friend of mine was being hassled by her exboyfriend... to the point she ended up with a bruise on her face. She insisted that she fell, and it all may have been true, but this guy had been bugging her/making her life miserable altogether, so a group of my friends and I flew 800 miles to pay him a visit. Not enough to put him in the hospital, but enough so that he knew not to contact her ever again.

included ideas from her brother that Asian men beat their wives,


Um, aren't they Asian? Isn't he implying that his father beats his mother and that he would beat his wife? :rolleyes::)

Hopefully they will be coming around to actually meeting you someday soon.

Sneezy... you're my kind of guy... I hope this girl knows how lucky she
Is. It will work out.

Um, aren't they Asian? Isn't he implying that his father beats his mother and that he would beat his wife? :rolleyes::)

Hopefully they will be coming around to actually meeting you someday soon.

Yeah... but we're a different asian ;)

yeah...but we're a different asian ;)

You mean that you're a different Asian. ;)

yeah...but we're a different asian ;)

What? Aren't ALL Asians alike? (Been a while since I could fully use the sarcasm font. :) )

Of course he, the brother, is the Chosen One so he gets to make the rules, right? :rolleyes::)

I am wondering if this incident might be opening mom and dad's eyes just a little bit to what type of son they have raised. The daughter may have had her moments (seems more understandable by the post), but the son's character flaws seem to be glowing nice and bright, IF they pay attention.

Cat, from what Sneezy has told me, I have a feeling that the parents are blind to their sons behavior, or looking the other way.

They'll be the parents that stand up for him in court saying "I had no idea he was like that. My baby boy is perfect and he couldn't have done the things he's being accused of", even with overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

They don't want to admit that a child of theirs could be so devious, so cruel, so deceptive. If they did admit it, they'd have to take responsibility for their part in it.

It's easier just to pretend he's perfect.

Just my opinion. ;)

Cat, from what Sneezy has told me, I have a feeling that the parents are blind to their sons behavior, or looking the other way.


Unfortunately, I agree. I do try to have hope, but it nearly always gets dashed when dealing with parents like these.:(

For the daughter's sake though, I will continue to try to have hope. :)

Alty you said it very well.

Yeah, it's OK. 3 more weeks, and I'm out of this popsicle stand.

Been keeping busy though... I've been studying ahead, cleaning my room 4 times a day, working out, practicing my sutures on oranges/banana peels, and ooh, working on my knife fighting skills. Why? No idea.


Cat, from what Sneezy has told me, I have a feeling that the parents are blind to their sons behavior, or looking the other way.

I wouldn't say that they're BLIND... he does get in trouble... they just don't punish him for his mistakes.

Example: recently, he left his e-mail wide open on his computer and his parents happened to walk by it and saw... naked pictures of a girl his parents are strongly against. He told them that they were no longer dating, and that he has no idea WHY she would send him these pictures. Parents simply had a chat with him, told him not to do things like that anymore. End of story.

... yeah... not too fair...

I wouldn't say that they're BLIND...he does get in trouble...they just don't punish him for his mistakes.

Example: recently, he left his e-mail wide open on his computer and his parents happened to walk by it and saw...naked pictures of a girl his parents are strongly against. He told them that they were no longer dating, and that he has no idea WHY she would send him these pictures. Parents simply had a chat with him, told him not to do things like that anymore. End of story.

...yeah...not too fair...

I admit that I'm not an expert on Asian parents, but I did work in a daycare for a year, and there were two Asian kids there, a girl and a boy. The girl was one year older than the boy, 8 and 7 years old.

The boy was a nightmare. He wouldn't listen, wouldn't behave. The little girl was a dream child. When the parents would come to pick them up we would mention that the son was misbehaving, causing trouble. They'd yell at the daughter, like it was her fault.

It was very obvious that the boy meant more to them than the girl. They once told me that after having their daughter the reason they tried again so soon was because they couldn't live without a son. She was a mistake, she should have been a boy.

I'm not saying that your gf's parents are like that, or that she means nothing to them, but it sounds like the son only gets a talking to whenever he does something wrong, and when the girlfriend does something minor, they throw the book at her.

Not fair at all.

Yep. Welcome to Asian prejudice. Every once in a while, you'll hear about an Asian family burying/drowning/killing their daughter because they wanted a son instead.

Yep. Welcome to Asian prejudice. Every once in a while, you'll hear about an Asian family burying/drowning/killing their daughter because they wanted a son instead.

:eek:

Urban legends. I'm going to choose to believe that's not true. Welcome to my rose colored world. It's pretty here! :cool:

Her brother sounds like someone who is very troubled. His obsession with his sister is very disturbing to me.

Furthermore, as he's very accomplished academically, the parents have very little leverage when they give him a lecture. So a simple: "Don't do that again" speech sounds appropriate.

Relatively speaking (relative to her brother), your girlfriend is the one who is struggling, which is why it's easier to give her unfair lectures.

Maybe he will be different when he moves out. Maybe things will be different when she moves out. Maybe things will be different when either of them starts working. Or things could stay the same for a very long time. Who knows?

Time will tell what will happen. In the end, you're better off preparing for both scenarios. It's one thing to live in a world thinking that people can change. But realistically speaking, people don't change too much when they're already in their 20s.

I agree with I Wish. Yes, her mother even notices that the brother is a bit too obsessive with her, but she sees that it's not doing her much harm, so she lets it go.

Time will tell. Until then, I'm here to stay.

I agree with I Wish. Yes, her mother even notices that the brother is a bit too obsessive with her, but she sees that it's not doing her much harm, so she lets it go.

Time will tell. Until then, I'm here to stay.

You're a good man, Sneezy. :)

Update.

I have 1.5 weeks left. We made it!

Well... we'll see what happens in the upcoming week, haha.

Her brother leaves for med school on Monday, and her last day at work is Monday as well, so hopefully, this means that we'll get to spend more time together without looking over our shoulders. Literally, while driving, she'll look in her rear view mirror to see if anyone's following.

Some government agency should look into hiring me, as I've learned to now detect being followed/watched, can remember up to 6 - 7 license plates outside a parking structure at a quick glance, and can find secret hiding places. Yes. CIA, I'm ready for you.

Unfortunately, it had to come to that, looking over your shoulder half the time. But you've done well Sneezy!

I would say that you've become a stronger couple if you can really overcome all these obstacles. So take it as a blessing in disguise!

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm leaving in less than 12 hours.

(insert high school girl giggling) OMG OMG OMG

We thought we'd be out of the woods by now, but nono, fate said no. We were supposed to rent a car together to go to the airport together... but no. Her parents decided they wanted to drive her. HAHAHA... such is life. It's all right though, this gives me time to run some errands... although, renting the car on my own is a bit rough on the broke med student.

Yes. CIA, I'm ready for you.

Somewhere, some government search bot just made a file with your sitename on it.

You're such a good sport, Sneezy, and I truly do hope your girlfriend sees what a rare gem you are for hanging on:) I wish you luck in school and all the best... keep us posted:)

Crap. Now they have mine... ;)

Slap me, but you guys go to the same medical school right? So you can see each other all the time?

Slap me, but you guys go to the same medical school right? So you can see each other all the time?

Yep!

You're such a good sport, Sneezy, and I truly do hope your gf sees what a rare gem you are for hanging on:) I wish you luck in school and all the best...keep us posted:)

... I hope so, because this trip was NOT cheap. Still mad about all the money I spent here. GAR.

What did we do before computers?

Regular mail.

Telegram.

Pony express.

Smoke signal.

Point and UGG.

Regular mail.

Telegram.

Pony express.

Smoke signal.

Point and UGG.

You forgot, communicate face to face.

What did we do before computers?

We saw naked women from the PB mags under the mattresses of friends bigger brothers, we learned how to fix things by buying buddies a 12 pack and giving them dinner, and we played games with cards at tables with real people present.

Love the info off the internet. Its awesome.

Dislike people sitting in the same room focused on tabs and new posts and pms and ims and skype and crap.

Its awesome and its fubared.

I agree.

My brother (17 years old) and his friends will be sitting across from one another at a restaurant, texting one another.

I look at him, and say, "You DO realize that I PAY for your phone bill?"

He doesn't say one word. Doesn't even look at me. My phone goes "blip."

I look down, it says, "YEP."

I think that just cost me $0.10

"we saw naked women from the PB mags under the mattresses of friends bigger brothers, we learned how to fix things by buying buddies a 12 pack and giving them dinner, and we played games with cards at tables with real people present."

Ahh, the good old days...

People just don't know how to interact with people without having some sort of gadget to do it for them.

Not only is communication going downhill, if it hasn't already hit the bottom, but so has spelling, education, all because of texting, allowing children to have their cell phones at school, computers, you name it.

I agree with KP, love that I have information at my fingertips. I remember when I met hubby, the actual night I met him, I gave him a ride to his house, he said something, it reminded me of a TV show, Designing Women. I could remember the names of 3 of the characters, but I couldn't remember the fourth to save my life and I couldn't let it go. The whole drive home I'm racking my brain trying to remember. He probably thought I was nuts, but it all worked out in the end. ;)

Nowadays I wouldn't have to remember, I'd just go home, Google "Designing Women" and voilà. All my questions answered, no more sleepless nights trying to remember things.

Why am I telling you all this?

Never mind. I guess I shouldn't complain, after all, we're all talking on an internet site. :rolleyes:

Yesterday, I googled "how to get your finger unstuck from your nose" with one hand.

Ah... technology...

Yesterday, I googled "how to get your finger unstuck from your nose" with one hand.

Ah...technology...

You're so silly. Tis why I adore you.

Ya, I said it, but it may be the beer talking. :o

::burp::

By the way, isn't it like 3am for you? Don't you need some sleep young man? Don't make me go all mom on your a$$.

Yesterday, I googled "how to get your finger unstuck from your nose" with one hand.

Ah...technology...

Darwin rolls over in his grave

Good thing it was just your nose...

Share that silliness with your girl.

Enjoy.