So I've been dating this girl for a little over a year and our relationship had not been without its problems. I had some unresolved trust issues dealing with something she did earlier in our relationship and she was working all the time and was very stressed out when she would come home. So we had a heated argument one night over something stupid and small which neither of us would back down from and I was kicked out of her house. The next day we met up again and she seemed all right. I felt out the situation and we seemed to be fine. I wasn't sleeping at her house, but I would go over and hang out every night (she would call me to come over) and at one point we went a little further than just hanging out. So I figured everything was fine and that I was just in the doghouse.

But then her parents visited. I didn't see her for a couple days because she was going to be with them. Then I couldn't get a hold of her for a week and a half. She wouldn't respond or return my messages. Nothing. A big difference from the other week when she would call me to come over after work. I finally went over to her house and saw her and hung out. A couple days later she came over and hung out at my house. Then sometimes she would call and act like she hates my guts, and at other times she would call and talk about how she loved me. Then nothing for another week. I had had enough of the silent treatment so I found a way to get her on the phone and she starts talking about how we are on a break. She wanted time to be with her friends and stuff like that. I ask her questions like how long and what exactly that meant for her and she got very defensive. Insulting me and calling me names the whole time.

So I snapped after that phone call. I texted her that I wanted the rest of my stuff. Immediately she calls me back and I could hear that she was upset in her voice and she gets very defensive and then hangs up. Next day she calls and she sounds sweet and nice on the phone and then turns angry and so I ask for my stuff again and she tells me I can get it when she has the time. (She has had plenty of time) After a couple of days of nothing over the phone, I go over to her house when I knew she was home and brought her stuff with me. I gave back her stuff by tossing in her car door. I did this because after knowing why I was there she left her house (visibly upset but wore sunglasses to try and hide it) and got in her car to leave.

Now its been about three weeks since that has happened. I have asked for my stuff back repeatedly. Not once has she talked about giving it back. I went so far as to assure her that I would not make a scene or try anything and told her that I would like to talk to her in the future after I get over her. (Don't get me wrong from reading all this, but I do really love this girl. The reason why I keep asking for my stuff back is because I was once burned really bad by holding out and waiting for someone and I just can't take that chance again.) To which she finally responds with,"I don't want to stop talking to you. Ever." Talk about mixed signals. She pushes me away for a month then holds on for dear life when I try and leave.

So okay. I ask her to come out with me on the fourth of July to watch the fireworks. (with the promise of not talking about our relationship at all) For the first time in a month, I get her to answer her phone when I called. I talked to her twice and both times she had to go because she was at work and couldn't talk, or her cab showed up to take her to work. Then she texts me and says she can't go because she is working that night. (she is in the restaurant and entertainment business)

Okay. I can handle that. Thing is after a month of trying to get my stuff back and struggling with her over this, I realized I still really love this girl. A lot. Now I'm nervous that it is going to come back and bite me. My plan is to now tell her how I feel conflicted and don't know what I want, but that I would like to take her out on a couple dates (We never really "dated" before. We just kind of fell into a relationship without the usual courting) and see how it goes between us. My questions are: A.Is that a good idea? B.What is going on in her head? I can't figure it out. And C.Any comments from an outside perspective? (Also, as far as it goes with expectations between me and her. I had told her before that if I had the money and stability I would marry her, and I know she felt the same way.)

She is holding onto your stuff as a way of controlling the situation, she appears to think she's on a break I guess that's from the relationship you and she were having albeit not officially a relationship, ummm!

I think she's dangling you on a string, and using you stuff to keep you on that string, I would cut my losses and go no contact, she's showing a complete lack of respect for you, she's got you on a string as already stated and she is merely playing with your emotions.

She's trying to control you in many ways, seriously walk away, don't let her do this to you. You're worth more.

If you don't next time shell use another form of control tactic, and before you know it you won't be able to move without her giving you permission...

Material possessions can be replaced, giving in to her attempts to control you now will render you to a life of misery. End it tell her to shove your stuff where the sun doesn't shine, and get out of this, which is her attempting to get control..

Dude, I can't imagine living through such an extreme up and down in a relationship in as short period as you and this girl have had. I suspect there is a lot more to the story than what you have written here because I didn't get any sense there was any depth or closeness in your relationship. I am really left scratching my head at the way you are describing how she is responding to you. All that aside, she has told you that "she wants a break".

So to answer your questions:
"A"-- No, I don't think that is a good idea at the moment. Respect her request and allow her an opportunity to take the break she needs. It appears the more you attempt to speak with her, the more she avoids you. You are shooting yourself in the foot here. Sometimes it really is better to just leave things alone for a while and I think that applies to your current situation. Stop calling her. Give her an opportunity to think about your relationship and what you mean to her. She may surprise you and reach out to you in a week or two if you stop attempting to force her to talk to you or to return your things. She didn't say she was breaking up with you. She said she needed a break. As painful as it may be to go without speaking with her, you do need to do just that. It sounds like you want to talk things out and that is fine. Just do it when she is ready. Right now, she isn't ready. Accept that.
"B" -- C'mon really? If you can't figure out "what is going on in her head" how do you expect anyone here to know? The only person who knows what is going on in her head is her. Accept the fact that you are a person like the rest of us who doesn't read minds. ;)
"C" -- Well, I have made my comments and given the best advice I can based upon what you have written. Stop driving yourself crazy. Take a breather. Give her some space. Give yourself some space. Hang out with your family & friends. Enjoy life. If it was meant to work out, it will. For the time being, don't worry about your stuff that you left at her place. Give her time to cool off. I believe she will call you when she realizes you have stopped attempting to force her to speak with you. When she does call, follow her lead. If she wants to talk things out, THEN tell her how you feel. But until that happens, find other things to occupy your time with.

Forget A,B,C, and go to D, which is Disappear, and leave her alone. And Do Your Own Thing. Let her keep the stuff. She is holding it hostage any way. It's a big red flag when the want to screw with your head, instead of talking it over.