This is a complicated story.. But ill try to resume best I can.. Been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years.. lived with her for one year.. our relation was always under a lot of pressure from external problems.. but we always managed to solve and I always was there for her... In November 2009, we had to return to our parents home.. cos well my mother didn't want her to stay at house.She was out of job and my company wasn't paying salaries and I already had 4 salaries on delay and a ton of debts..
In January I decided to go out and sue a process on court which would grant me unemployment.By that time.. my mother was getting softer and let her stay for weekends and holidays and in end of February a huge storm did a lot of damage in my city and my girlfriend stayed with me for some weeks.. and then finally my mom let her stay there living with us.. by then she already had a gotten a job and I was still waiting for the unemployment..
As time passes I couldn't get a job and with no unemployment I went down for the first time in our relationship.. I spend my days alone and didn't paid her attention because I couldn't stop thinking on where and how I would get money... In April she asked for a time and for 2 weeks she said she was going to stay with her mom.. after that time I grew suspicious and started to pressure her to tell me what's was happening and she said she was seeing someone new that she met in work and for a time she didn't want anything with him but since I hadn't been paying any attention to her she decided to give him a chance and that she started to like him.. and that she been staying at that guys place with his parents.. I couldn't believe what was going on specially because guy barely know her.. same for her, and he was already letting her in into his places and his parents didn't even said anything.. she was 22 and the guy 32.. Still I tried to talk her to comeback and she did for a week because the guy said he was going to see a concert with his friends and would be a week away and that she would stay with his parents.. After that week when he comeback she said she couldn't stop thinking about him and that she wanted to leave me and so she did.. BTW reason she had to go live with him is because her and her parents don't get along well and her parents home is too far away from her work..
We had a fight in that day and in the next days she didn't stop bugging me asking how I was saying she was concerned about me.. I asked her to let me alone.. and she answer she won't never do that because she only would be happy when I become happy..
After 2 months barely talking we went for a coffee.. we talked for a while and among other stuff she said guys wasn't much as she expected and that he was kind boring because was always talking and among other stuff she didn't liked much in him.. in next day she agreed to come to my place ( mom on holidays in other country)and we end up having sex.. and she said she missed me a lot and was wanting to do that for a long time.. few days after we met again and spend some time together... then she told me her boyfriend decided to go see some other concert in France and would be away for 2 weeks.. she was pissed of and she start spending nights with me and end up spending most of the 2 weeks sleeping with me.. during that time.. we had very confusing conversations about our relationship.. sometimes she would say she regret what she did and if she could go back in time she would stay with me.. other she almost asked to me and her go to other country and start over, other was the opposite and she said she like the guy even if she loves me and since she already knows me she was going to make an effort to be with him and with time learn to love him.. or that I deserved better and maybe in future we could get back.. during this 2 weeks things were kind of OK.. first week was great but as more time passed and the closer the day to other guy comeback the more she start chatting with him on the phone and worse things got for us.. last day we were together she said she was feeling bad about what she did with him and with me and same time and wanted to remain faithfully and try to fix things up with him.. she off course didn't told him what happen , simply told him she was staying at her parents place.. she stills calls or texts me everyday.. and whenever she has a time off.. since rarely matches her boyfriend she wants to go out with me.. but she avoids at all cost coming to my place.. now she keeps saying it him that's she wants as boyfriend and me she wants as her best friend since I listen to her and understand her and she trusts me and she says she don't want to talk with her boyfriend because she is afraid he discover bad stuff about her and that she knows if she ever falls hard ill be there to help her pick her.. I already told her I wouldn't be her friend , that I would accept being second and that above all a boyfriend or girlfriend must be always your best friend and the person she most can rely on.. .

She seems confused.. and divided.. and the other guy is "wining" because well he works with her, she lives with him and like I said she can't go to her parents house.. and because she knows if we ever get back together will be hard and she will have to live with her parents and will have to see her current boyfriend everyday at work..

I don't know what to do.. I just know I don't want to be her friend.. sometime I think in just quiting talking with her in any way.. other to try to be with her since she already admitted she prefers my company than his..

Any advices..

" i already told her i woundt be her friend"

Don't. Or anything else.

Time to enjoy cool things, not drama.

It certainly seems she is using you to her own means with no consideration for your emotional well being at best.
Her actions say she is selfish, immature, shallow, with questionable morals.( I am trying to be polite)
I think you would be better off without her. Stop all contact with her and move on with your life. It may hurt now but will only get worse if she has more opportunities to make your life more complicated by her actions.
Stop all contact with her and move on in your life.

He is her security, you are her emotional tampon. Either get a job with NO unemployment, which is better than nothing, or leave her alone. Probably better to leave her alone, since she obviously has to have security. Love don't pay rent, or buy food.

Yeah, don't be sucker.

"she will have to live with her parents and will have to see her current bf everyday"?

Put your $ and you know what back in your pocket.

What's an emotional tampon?
Sorry for dumb question but english isn't my native language

An emotional outlet, that she can vent all her frustration to. Like a girlfriend.

She's a player and she's cheated on you and on the b/f, she's merely passing time with both of you I feel, she is also using the other b/.f for a home a place to live, wonder why she can't live at her parents home?

Forget her and move on get yourself a job any job one that pays low wages is better than none at all.

Get yourself respect back tell this girl to take a hike, and not to call or visit you again. She's using you both to her own ends, she probably wants neither of you but you both serve a purpose.

Go No Contact stick to it, and tell her where to go, you're life is on hold while you allow this female to play with you and your emotions like she is, and she's cheated on you both.

You can do better. Go NC and get back on with living your life. You don't need this girl but she is using you and needs you, but only to use you. Nothing more

Oh and get yourself checked out for STDs there's no telling who she may have slept with.