unhappyman
Jul 1, 2010, 07:20 AM
Ok,
Im a freshman at university in Canada and for ages I was a carefree, sleeparound guy. A short way into the second term (Jan) I met a girl on a night out and got with her, about two weeks later after seeing each other every night we sleep together and do after that every time we go out. I found out about two weeks after this that she had literally just split up with her ex boyfriend who she was with for over 3 years. Meanwile we have been seeing each other whenever we go out and having sex 3-4 times a week. I was obviously getting attached to her but she is saying she doesn't want a relationship as she wants to live as a single for a while but that she really really likes me and thinks there is definitely something there in the future. We have continued in a quite weird relationship where we are not committed but extremely close. We are sleeping together and express all our feelings but I have seen her kiss other guys and she has seen me with other girls(anything more is strictly off limits.. again, weird!), she says she HATES it and gets so jealous and I feel completely the same! This last term she has begun to mean more and more to me and I have never been so attached to someone in my life, she says that she feels the same and loves it so much but can't deal with the commitment. We've now broken up for summer and she is coming to my house for a week and I'm going to hers, she calls me and says she doesn't know wheather she should come as she doesn't want to hurt me as she isn't ready for a relationship, but still says she misses me and she doesn't know what to do.
She tells me she has never experienced going out and having the thrill of no attachment and being flirty with guys because she had her ex since being young and then met me...
I don't know how to move on from now as Ive completely fallen for her but don't want to smother her, I think maybe I am giving it too easily and maybe I should take a few steps back, not see each other for a while and sleep around again (a totally repulsive idea in my head but one that may mean she misses me and the total freedom for a time lets her get her head streight) or say everything is fine not to worry, continue sleeping with her, no strings attatched and long run she may want more.
A very confused boy trying to work out what to do!
Thanks for any help
I'd just like to add how many people seem to be in the same boat as me on this forum and how nice it is to get experienced peoples opinions on these tricky emotional decisions
Im a freshman at university in Canada and for ages I was a carefree, sleeparound guy. A short way into the second term (Jan) I met a girl on a night out and got with her, about two weeks later after seeing each other every night we sleep together and do after that every time we go out. I found out about two weeks after this that she had literally just split up with her ex boyfriend who she was with for over 3 years. Meanwile we have been seeing each other whenever we go out and having sex 3-4 times a week. I was obviously getting attached to her but she is saying she doesn't want a relationship as she wants to live as a single for a while but that she really really likes me and thinks there is definitely something there in the future. We have continued in a quite weird relationship where we are not committed but extremely close. We are sleeping together and express all our feelings but I have seen her kiss other guys and she has seen me with other girls(anything more is strictly off limits.. again, weird!), she says she HATES it and gets so jealous and I feel completely the same! This last term she has begun to mean more and more to me and I have never been so attached to someone in my life, she says that she feels the same and loves it so much but can't deal with the commitment. We've now broken up for summer and she is coming to my house for a week and I'm going to hers, she calls me and says she doesn't know wheather she should come as she doesn't want to hurt me as she isn't ready for a relationship, but still says she misses me and she doesn't know what to do.
She tells me she has never experienced going out and having the thrill of no attachment and being flirty with guys because she had her ex since being young and then met me...
I don't know how to move on from now as Ive completely fallen for her but don't want to smother her, I think maybe I am giving it too easily and maybe I should take a few steps back, not see each other for a while and sleep around again (a totally repulsive idea in my head but one that may mean she misses me and the total freedom for a time lets her get her head streight) or say everything is fine not to worry, continue sleeping with her, no strings attatched and long run she may want more.
A very confused boy trying to work out what to do!
Thanks for any help
I'd just like to add how many people seem to be in the same boat as me on this forum and how nice it is to get experienced peoples opinions on these tricky emotional decisions