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View Full Version : I don't want to live


tiggeriffic
Jun 30, 2010, 11:16 AM
OK here's the thing, I'm completely fed up with life!!

My dad died when I was 16 from breathing problems and I watched him die for like 9 years.

My mum suffers bouts of depression, my sister and brother are brain boxes and I'm not.

I was bullied from the age of 2 - 18 being called names, having my hair cut, things thrown at me and people trying to throw me down stairs.

I' v got dyslexia, dyspraxia and irlen's syndrom (this is a condition which makes reading etc very difficult for me so I hate doing it). This was only diagnosed when I was 16 after a long battle with the college I was at to get my diagnosed, prior to that I had been called stupid, thick, the dumb slow one, and was told id never get anywhere in life.

I've also got medical conditions which effect my hands to which I had surgeory. And recently effecting my knees and now my spine. I've been told by my doctor's, surgeons and physios I can't carry on working where I am and I've got to change my career path. Which would be OK if I actually liked doing anything other than working with animals.

I'm not very sociable and have 2 friend both living over 200 miles away from me :(.

I really don't no what to do with my life and to be perfectly honest id sooner not be here, I don't want to live in a place where I feel trapped or stupid, its not nice and I've had enough

tickle
Jun 30, 2010, 12:29 PM
I am sorry you feel that way, tiggerific but considering ending it all is not the only option. You are still here and writing about how you feel so that's a good thing.

If you work with animals, then you must be a sort of worthwhile individual. Shows you are patient, loving. Just how do you work with animals? It would be interesting to know.

Do you live at home? Is there a chance that you could change direction and move away to another location that is more attractive to you. Can you travel ?

Yes, you are in a rut. Time to get out.

Now that you are on here, with this type of thread, tigger, you are going to inundated with our members giving you advise. Just remember we all mean well and we don't stop.

Tick

tiggeriffic
Jun 30, 2010, 01:18 PM
Hi tick,

Yep defo stuck in a rut I've been off work for over 8 weeks with a prolapsed disk and digeneration normal for a 40 year old not a 22 year old with is really annoying and I still don't no why, waiting to see a surgeon for answers

I'm a trainee manager in a boarding kennels and cattery, but I basically run the place taking bookings, dealing with money, banking etc. I love the job but have been advised against going back. I love the job and I'm really sad that I'm not allowed back.

I don't drive, but am learning however I'm currently not allowed because of the medication I'm taking for back spazams. I do still live at home with my mum, sister and brother and its very stressful as their isn't enough room for us all, defo not helping the situation at all. But at the moment I don't have the money to move out and I'm worried about going out their I feel isolated enough and not sure if that would help or hinder

I have been thinking of returning to education but I'm not getting that much support and I feel extremely depressed

I appreciate and the advice I have and may receive but apologise in advance for spelling I'm not very good but I try

Tigger

Mandabroooke
Jun 30, 2010, 01:21 PM
I agree with tickle... Ending your life isn't going to solve anything. You just need to be positive with everything! If u hve a good additute about yourself.. U won't hate yourself! Trust me! I know! I'm very very pale and I have very sweaty hands! People always tease me about it, but I just laugh about it. You should just love yourself the way god has made u. I'm not sure if your a christian or if you believe there is a god.. But I believe. And Ill pray for you and just know god loves you sooo very much! Sorry to go all religious on u. But yea.. Maybe you can go to a support group with people who know what your going through? Or maybe you can join an animal loves group! That will help you feel better and make friends! Just please don't hurt yourself..

tickle
Jun 30, 2010, 02:25 PM
apologise in advance for spelling im not very good but i try

tigger

Oh, tig, I don't care if you spell incorrectly; you write and explain really well. Stick around, okay. There are lots of us here and very shortly you are going to be inundated with a lot of good ideas.

So conditions are really cramped where you live? I don't understand why you can't go back to working where you are? Is it because of your medical conditions? Please explain

Tick

SweetDee
Jul 6, 2010, 01:44 PM
I think that you definitely are in a rut and it's unhealthy for your state of mind to stay where you are. Have you thought about moving out with a room mate? Maybe find someone who also has many of the same complaints (I don't mean EXACTLY the same, but has needs as you do.. ) and share. You could better afford a place with a roomy. Or maybe one of your sibling would want to share rent.. (if you don't dislike them too much... ).

Also there are SO many directions you can go if you like to work with animals... you can write a list of ideas... example: dog trainer, vet assistent/tech, wildlife, entertainment, etc... THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.

It's a great idea to perhaps look into a "trade school" specifically for what interests you. I am a certified dog trainer and a lot of people who I work with also took grooming classes. Maybe grooming is for you..

Depending on your physical abilities (and I have said this A LOT TODAY, but... ) if you Google your options you can narrow down what you will be able to work toward. There is so much out there in this world to do. You just have to have the desire to do it and the physical capasity to excel.

Only you yourself know what you are capable of. The longer you feel depressed the longer you won't have the energy to get yourself out of this hole you're in. perhaps you need a little help right now and consider seeing a psychologist or counselor. Maybe a little medication to lift you up for a while till you can "swim" on your own isn't a completely bad idea... just for a while. You HAVE to have a plan... you have to give yourself a chance. If you give up now then you won't ever know if you could have had a good go of it. You have nothing to lose! :s

redhed35
Jul 6, 2010, 02:03 PM
I'm a job coach for adults with disabilities,and everyday I see struggle and discrimation in the workplace,I see the social stigma surrounding disability,I see poor health and cronic family dysfunction,but I go into work because I also see men and women who have been where you are and have pushed through to find their place in the workforce,to get trained and paid and become independent of their families and the state.

Although things seem fairly crap at the moment,unless you pick up the phone,check out what your intitled too,find out if you can get a job coach,and push the system,nothing will change.

Grab life by the balls and go for what you want,you CAN do it,you can have your dreams fulfilled,all you need is a dream, a bit of support and its yours for the taking.

A little councilling would help,and maybe some family support.

Kitkat22
Jul 7, 2010, 01:18 PM
I use to work with disabled kids. There was this one little boy who gave everything his bet effort.he Every single morning he would be wheeled into the room by his mother.

This boy had a smile and a giggle that would melt your heart. His hands were bent.. but he tried so hard to do his numbers and every time he did.. he would beam.

One morning I was having a very bad start of the day, griping about this and complain about that. I walked into my room and the kids were there with another teacher and this particular boy looked at me grabbed my hand
And said, "Good morning Ms. K.
Guess what? I said what sweetie?
He said, "When I'm able to walk someday , Mommy and Daddy are
Going to take me to Disney world."

I couldn't move for a moment but I had to turn and walk outside and go into the bathroom. I fell on my knees and thanked God he had let me have the experience of working with these kids and I thanked him for my job and my family and friends. That boy did go to Disney World.

tickle
Jul 7, 2010, 01:25 PM
im a job coach for adults with disabilities,and everyday i .

grab life by the balls and go for what you want,you CAN do it,you can have your dreams fulfilled,all you need is a dream, a bit of support and its yours for the taking.



RED, YOU GO GIRL...YOU IRISH SON OF A GUN.....I AM WITH YOU ONE HUNDRED PER CENT AND YES I AM YELLING.....I AM SO PROUD OF YOU....EVEN IF I AM SCOTTISH....AND YOU GUYS DIDNT INTRODUCE THE BAGPIPES TO SCOTLAND... oh, sorry there red, have you ever seen the cartoon of the two shotputting guys sitting on a log wearing kilts and nothing underneath, wow, those shotputs had to be the biggest sorry... got carried away... bill me later...

SweetDee
Dec 20, 2010, 05:23 AM
I wonder how things went with sweet tiggerific. <3 <3 <3

tickle
Dec 20, 2010, 05:31 AM
i wonder how things went with sweet tiggerific. <3 <3 <3

Hi again Sweet. We may never know.

Tick