My ex sent me ths letter, what should I do

Hi xxxxxxxx, here we are once again , another letter to explain myself on another issue. Well I am letting it all out in this one and after that I have nothing else to say. I just want you to know a few things ,so I hope I do come across as clear as possible. I must admit as I am writing this I am filled with a bunch of emotions that I am not going to hesitate to say whether you like it or not.
I will tell who what I am mad about first. I realize something with you that I am tired of, In the past two years every time you get upset or you don't perceive things to go your way , you go through this thing of " oh I am not going to talk to him" period. Then I try to fix things and in the process have to embarrass myself. I have always had to prove how much I want to be with you. I did a lot to show you that I truly cared , waited in front of your classroom, ask random people if they know who you are . You act like I was so bad and you were so perfect that you always treat me like garbage and I have to run after you like a little puppet. Well here is a little news flash for you , YOU AiN'T PERFECT NEITHER, but I was never asking you to be , you always gave me all these lists about what you expect and what you not going to compromise on. Ask yourself this question and be honest , how many times did you have to prove yourself to me, how many times did I ever ignore your calls days at a time. I have never done anything close to that to you . I know that I am not perfect , I know you think I can be more open and that may be true, but one thing you can't say is that I am a runner. I stood with you through it all to work it out together. In times past I have been the recipient of your anger, you cursed me out more than once, yelled at me and all I did was take it even though you say I am the one that is short tempered. I could have done all that to you but I never did because when you love someone you don't run when you hit problems. What also made it worse is that you always snapped at me when I said anything but then you go talk to a third party and then you get an epiphany about the situation, then you want to talk about it. I don't appreciate that at all. Sometimes you at like as if I am not there for you. I have stood with you because I truly care for you , I truly want to be there to protect you. You think I go around looking for things to criticize you on. I was the way how I was sometimes because I wanted the best for you, I never wanted anybody to say anything about you behind your back. You are not my child that I think I have to fix but I just wanted to have your back. For some reason you thought was attacking you, if my tone was off when I said it then for that I apologize. If I did not care about anything I would have just stayed quiet or not even attempt to help.
xxxxxxxxxx you really do mean a lot to me. I always speak highly to all my friends about you. I was never ashamed to be seen with you at all. I would give my left arm to make all this drama go away or at least what I am responsible for. I envision you having my children , me coming home from practice to seeing you and the kids. I had dreams of us living in xxxxxxx park and taking the kids out on a Sunday with the dog for ice cream. We could have shared stories to our kids about where mommy and daddy met. I am in the stage of my life where I want to build something special with one person. I must admit I am a much better man because of you, no lie, you have been a rock and supported me through a lot, words can't describe my gratitude. I think this situation is weird to me because just in April you left me a sticky note saying so many things. You asked me to be patient with you as you deal with your issues, you said I have all the qualities that you are looking for in a husband. I told you that I am always here for you and was not going anywhere.

xxxxxxxxx even as I am writing this letter I am angry but I still love you , I still love you but I realize that I need to start loving myself too. What I mean by that is that I would no longer be gong beyond fifty percent. You have said in times past that you were willing to walk away and that I kept pulling you back. It would seem you came back because I pushed you to. This time it has to be different, if you and I do go back on that level it has to be a fifty/ fifty effort on both of our parts. This time I leave everything in GOD's hand and I just pray for his will to be done. I pray you find all the answers you are looking for . I was really looking forward to us celebrating my own accomplishments this summer like passing my boards and getting my license. I hope we use this time to grow and mature, I know I have my ways good and bad , I want to keep getting better in all areas of my life.
As you read this I just want you to know this is not a goodbye letter, I am just right there at the fifty line border( for how long I can't say). I am not going to delete your number , erase all memories of you or speak ill of you to anyone. If we never get back to that point, I promise I will never defame your character to anyone or give any details to anyone about anything that happen between us. I really wanted the dating line to end with you and grow old with you . I hope you don't just see me as another ex and that from time to time you will think about me and I hope that puts a brief smile on your face. I have no regrets meeting you at all. You are a gem and a rose with beauty. I will miss you a lot. Take care my love.

Wow.

It sounds as though he feels that he's the one doing all the giving, and you are doing all the taking, with his needs never met.

He sounds to me like he has grown tired of walking on eggshells and feeling that the drama of the relationship is going to continue. I don't get the impression that he thinks you are willing to change enough to be an equal partner.

It seems that arguments and disagreements always ended up with him giving in, and swallowing his pride to keep the peace.

I also get the impression that when you don't get your own way you are pouty, and do the silent treatment thing, which is very immature, and solves nothing.

Arguments and disagreements left unresolved, only add to problems, it doesn't solve problems.

Communication does, and a willingness to put your partners needs above your own. It means not having to win every argument, and allowing yourself to really listen to the another's opinion, or advice, with the freedom and confidence to do the same back, without anger.

If love exists, or existed in the relationship, it went sour because the communication wasn't there. I'm sure you could also write a letter in the same fashion he has written you, but of course we have only one side, and you are the one trying to figure this out.

It is hard to tell if he is trying to come to terms with the end of the relationship, or if he wants new terms, to continue and work through the problems.

I would say, consider your options, knowing that the relationship will be different, if you go back.

What does wow mean.

Have to spread the rep.

I agree with all the above poster has said, I also feel that if you do hope to recover what's left of this relationship then you're going to have to make some serious changes, it seems you've taken this person for a ride, and abused his love and affection for you, and I would also say you need to know and accept that the world doesn't revolve around you.

You can go though life deluding yourself until doomsday, however, if you don't wake up to yourself I would think you will lose this young mans love and affection, you can't abuse a persons love and expect to get away with it, I feel he is telling you he's had enough, and you now have the chance to sit up and be counted or walk away and let him go on and find someone who is going to appreciate him for who he is and what he is.

It appears he has poured his heart out in the letter, he's hurting and he's letting you know this, he's admitted he has faults, but so do you, and it really isn't all about you, he's on the right track in saying it has to be 50/50, although personally I believe relationships should be more 100% both sides, as in both working together for the greater good of the relationship, but with 50/50 he's on the right track, you have to be willing to give everything to a relationship, if you don't they end.

I am not sure if he wants out just yet, but believe if you don't work with him for what you BOTH want then you're going to lose what seems to be a very sensible and responsible young man, and they don't come along like buses, they're often a very rare breed.

Its in your hands, you must do what you want and act on that letter in the way you decide to, a word of caution, don't push this man, he's almost at break point as it is, one wrong move and he is going to be history, or rather you are.

The balls in your court...

Don't rush to respond take your time and consider all the options, yours his and "ours" as in both of you as a couple... Time to walk your talk I believe...


Not sure but I think the responders WOW means what a brilliant letter.

Its not the wow you need to be concerned over, you now need to decide are you going to start giving to this relationship, instead of letting your b/f do all the work while you sit back and complain, or do you go your separate ways, your b/f is a hares breadth away from walking...